How to Protect Children and Adolescents From Sexual Abuse

The conviction of former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky on 45 counts of sexual abuse of children has, once again, put child sex abuse on the front page.

Like the vast majority of child sex abuse cases, Sandusky's crimes took place in the physical world -- they were not Internet related.  And, while parents do need to remind children about the potential dangers of talking about sex with strangers online, the fact is that in most cases, the victims and perpetrator have met each other prior to the start of the abuses.  Like Sandusky -- it's not uncommon for the abuser to be someone in a position of trust and authority.  That's one of the reasons why child safety experts educate children not so much about dangerous types of people, but dangerous types of behavior.

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) has numerous online resources for parents including a Child Safety FAQ that advises parents to educate children to "Say no if someone tries to touch you, or treats you in a way that makes you feel sad, scared, or confused" and to "get out of the situation as quickly as possible." Kids are also advised to "tell a parent, guardian, or trusted adult if you feel sad, scared, or confused."

"Stranger Danger" is a myth

NCMEC also reminds parents that "stranger danger" is largely a myth: "In the majority of cases the perpetrator is someone the parents or child knows, and that person may be in a position of trust or responsibility to the child and family."  The organization suggests that "It is much more beneficial to children to help them build the confidence and self-esteem they need to stay as safe as possible in any potentially dangerous situation they encounter rather than teaching them to be 'on the look out' for a particular type of person." (I serve as an unpaid member of NCMEC's board of directors).

Warning signs

Stop It Now! has a web page with warning signs of possible sexual abuse in children and adolescents and although one sign doesn't necessarily mean that a child is sexually abused, " the presence of several suggests that you begin asking questions and consider seeking help."

Some of the warning signs, says the organization include unexplained nightmares or other sleep problems,  a child who is distracted or distant at odd times and a child with changes in eating habits. The organiation also warns parents and caregivers to watch out for "sudden mood swings: rage, fear, insecurity or withdrawal" or if a child 'develops new or unusual fear of certain people or places."

For Internet related safety advice, see ConnectSafely.org, where I serve as co-director, or my other site, SafeKids.com.

 

 

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Comments

[Jason Maas]

12:20 AM on 06/26/2012

This is OK advice but ultimately falls short. If we really want children to "Say no if someone tries to touch you, or treats you in a way that makes you feel sad, scared, or confused" as the article says, then we need to empower children (and adults) to do so in ALL areas of life where they feel that way, not just where sex is concerned. That means at school, in church, sports, at home, etc. etc. It means listening to children when they say that schoolwork is frustrating and school is scary, or that church is humiliating, or sports are painful and torturous, or that their parents are neglectful. It's awfully convenient and self-serving when we say that children should be able to say no to sexual abuse, but not all (perhaps not even most) abuse is sexual. Indeed, much of the abuse that children endure is protected and promoted by society.

The other part of the equation is that if we want children to say "no" we also have to deal with what and when they can say "yes." Those are two sides of the same coin. It's not enough to tell them "just say no." That's what abstinence sex education does and it doesn't work. Children have to be given complete, factual, and ample information about sex and relationships and they have to be given that information early because they will say yes to sex and relationships at some point.

[IranianDude]

06:45 PM on 06/25/2012

How to Protect Children and Adolescents From Sexual Abuse?

Keep them away from Catholic priests!!!

[ChaCubed]

05:47 PM on 06/25/2012

Yep. I don't know if parents are still doing this, as they did years ago, but if so, stop telling young children that they "have to" give Grandma a kiss; or sit on Uncle Benny's lap; or let Grandpa give them a big hug; instead, give them permission to say "No" and make it clear that it's okay to say no, and people who love them will still love them.

Years ago, parents unwittingly prepped children to become victims of predators by sending the message that they had to do what someone they loved wanted, if they wanted them to still love them, if they didn't want to hurt their feelings, etc.; and by telling them they had to obey adults.

[Karen Tronsgard-Scott]

10:22 AM on 06/25/2012

This is all good information and good links to sources with even more in depth information, but one aspect of prevention is missing - that is the idea that it is adults who can take responsibility for preventing child sexual abuse by learning about the grooming behaviors that are the precursor of sexual contact. With this knowledge, adults will be able to intervene by creating limits and boundaries and rules with their children and with the other adult about whom they are concerned. Stop It Now! offers great information for parents to study before they are concerned about the relationship between their child and another adult.

[cmandersnyc]

09:14 AM on 06/25/2012

It is never ok for anyone who has a position of authority over children (and yes, teenagers are considered children in this context) to have sexual contact with them. Ever.

Studies show that those, boys espcially, who have their first exposure to sexual acts in this way are at far higher risk for the the after effects of sexual abuse: depression, anxiety, inability to form healthy relationships, and far higher rates of substance abuse and suicide.

There are resources to help survivors heal, however. Organizations like MaleSurvivor(dot)org provide information and support to male survivors of sexual abuse and their loved ones. If you are struggling with the after effects of abuse and are looking for resources and information, please visit our website.

You are not alone. It was not your fault. Healing is possible.

Christopher Anderson,
Executive Director