5 Dos & Don'ts for Your Love Life -- During Mercury Retrograde (May 18 to June 11)

05/19/2015 01:11 pm ET | Updated May 18, 2016

Cupid was the ancient Roman god of love. According to myth, Cupid was the son of Mercury, the winged messenger of the gods, and Venus, the goddess of love.

Mercury was the Roman god of financial gain, commerce, eloquence, messages, communication, travelers, boundaries, luck, trickery and thieves. Ironically, Mercury's influence is very much present in our daily lives. Even the word, mercurial is commonly used to refer to someone who is erratic, volatile or unstable.

When Mercury goes retrograde from May 18 to June 11 - expect the cosmic trickster, Mercury to upset the very romance, his son Cupid, previously brought to your life. In fact, be warned that Mercury may play havoc with your love affairs, especially if you don't pay attention to five "DOs and DON'Ts" during this tricky time frame.

The retrograde period is a time to be careful about the way you conduct yourself in all your romantic contacts to avoid a variety of problems that tend to occur over these three weeks. During the retrograde, your love relationships may go haywire with miscommunications and crazy turnabouts of all kinds.

You may have experiences that remind you of the interaction between the two main characters in the classic 1987 romantic comedy, Moonstruck. In that movie, Loretta (played by Cher) one day passionately makes love with Ronny, (played by Nicholas Gage) seemingly receptive to embarking on a great new romance with him. The next day, when Ronny claims to be in love with her, she slaps him and says, "Well...snap out of it!"

That would be a Mercury retrograde moment between two people, filled with misperception, leading to misunderstanding, leading to an inappropriate communication (i.e. a slap)!

What causes such confusing and crazy events to happen to people who are romantically involved? Astrologically, each planet in the sky exerts a unique influence on us, and the way we relate to others, especially those we socialize or have a love relationship. The planet Mercury rules our intelligence, mind, memory and, all types of communication ranging from talking and texting to writing. Since it also affects our self-expression, and communication style this planet influences the quality of our social interactions.

How Mercury functions in a person's birth chart explains a great deal about how they formulate ideas and share them, especially in their romantic and love relationships. During these three weeks when Mercury is retrograde, one's mental faculties are not functioning well when it comes to the way a person interacts in their social relationships, especially those concerning matters of the heart.

When this unique cosmic event happens (3-4 times a year), the communications people have in their social relationships seem to go "bonkers!" Suddenly, normal communications, even with those we have a love relationship become unreliable, and filled with misinformation where important data is missing or misunderstood. The passage of information between two people seems to be unintentionally cloudy or confused in some way.

This is why any action one takes or decision one makes during the retrograde often fail or seem sabotaged. As a result they will have to be re-done or restructured in some way when the Retrograde period ends and Mercury goes direct.

During these three weeks, pay special attention to your romantic life and the actions you take in your love relationships. Here are five DO's and five DON'Ts to respectfully observe during Mercury retrograde. Remember the old adage: an once of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

DO's in Your Love Relationships

1. Do reassert your vows and commitment to your spouse or partner (or that special relationship in your life). This is an excellent time for a ceremony that reconfirms and commemorates your continued devotion and love for each other. It's positive because you're just re-celebrating a wonderful event that had its beginnings when Mercury was direct.

2. Do show compassion and forgiveness towards a recent love relationship that has broken-up, especially if you still have unresolved feelings about it. The retrograde is perfect time for a peace offering whether it's sending your ex a dozen roses or suggesting that you'll pack a lunch so that you can meet each other for a picnic in the park. Vow to talk less and listen more so that you can gain a new understanding you didn't have before. It may lead to reconciliation.

3. Do take time to sit down with your partner and resolve your differences. This is an excellent time to openly discuss upsetting problems or contentious issues that have produced tension between you. Use this time to have an open dialogue where you both take the time to listen and hear each other's point-of-view. Agree that if can't come to a resolution, you'll re-visit your discussion when Mercury goes direct.

4. Do revisit the old haunt where you used to meet the most incredible women (or men). Get in your car and drive to that cozy coffee shop where your flirting met with smiles, hellos and a romantic connection. Take a taxi to your favorite nightspot where you once sat at the piano bar and fell in love. Those places may come alive for you once again, during the retrograde. You may even see someone from your past.

5. Do call that woman (or man) you dated months (or years) ago you were sure was "the one," but wasn't. Do call that person who rejected your advance because the timing was wrong. Do call your old flame from many years ago to see what she's up to. During Mercury retrograde, you may be surprised to find that the romance that didn't work then, will work now.

DON'Ts in Your Love Relationships

1. Don't get married during Mercury retrograde, no matter what the inducement or how much you are in love. The retrograde is famous for mental confusion that causes you not to see a complete picture of the relationship you're about to commit to. It is a time when promises are effortlessly made and unpredictably broken. It's when you're sure that nothing can go wrong, until it surprises you and does. The problem is, at this time, there are some facts and extenuating circumstances you don't know - that you will when Mercury goes direct. Wait until then, to get married.

2. Don't break up with the person you're in a love relationship, even if that relationship is unhappy or upsetting. It's the wrong time to do it. There is something unclear about your situation that may alter your plans. Wait until the retrograde is over. Then, make your final decision. Meanwhile, if necessary, find a safe place to get away if you must. But do not act. Filing for a separation or divorce should be delayed because such actions will only lead to more fighting and misunderstanding that will strain you mentally, physically and emotionally. You'll need the benefit of a clear mind that will come when Mercury is direct.

3. Don't change the nature of your current relationship. These three weeks are the wrong time to go from casual dating to going "steady," or going from seriously dating to becoming engaged, or going from engagement to marriage. Under the spell and confusion of the retrograde you are not seeing the entire picture. Your vision is blurred. You are mentally missing important details that may affect your plans. All that seems right under the retrograde can turn into all that's wrong when Mercury goes direct. Wait for these three weeks to change the status of your love relationship.

4. Don't go out on a first date with anyone new. That means if your friend has a fabulous man for you to meet, or your mother wants to introduce you to the gorgeous model she met on the bus, delay your meeting until the three weeks of the retrograde are over. First dates under the retrograde are fraught with unintended miscommunication and complex drama that may be occurring behind the scenes (unbeknownst to you). For this reason, if you have a chance to meet or date someone you might be romantically interested, wait until Mercury goes direct, when clarity of mind will return and you're more likely to have a fortuitous romantic connection.

5. Don't engage in any relationship with anyone who sounds dishonest or appears deceptive. Mercury is in the sign of Gemini during this retrograde. Be prepared to meet more "silver-tongued" devils than you've met in the last 10 years. If you go to a bar, you'll think you walked into a "salesmen's convention." During the retrograde fibbers, storytellers and deceivers come out as much as ghosts and goblins do on Halloween. If you're at a social event and you start talking to someone you think is a liar -they probably are. Trust your intuition. Go slow in your social relationships, especially any new ones that are born during the retrograde. Wait to "give it up," until Mercury goes direct on June 18.

Good News: Mercury Retrograde is Over on June 11

Mercury goes direct on June 11. That's the time to take action and make important decisions about your romantic life and love relationships. When that happens, clearer communication will return, important words demonstrative of love can again be relied on, and you'll see matters with crystal clear vision. You'll possess important information you didn't know while Mercury was retrograde. This new knowledge will help ensure you're making a correct decision where it concerns your love life. You'll be happy you listened to the advice of your astrologer, Larry Schwimmer. I've got your back.

If you want to know if you were born with Mercury Retrograde; and, where your personal transits are - to see if they are affecting your romantic relationships, go to the Free Transit Calculator and entering your birth date. And, if you're curious to learn more about your personal Horoscope in 2015 and what it says about your love relationships, career, investments and health in: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2015.

Read Larry Schwimmer's latest books, What the Hell is Going On in My Life? Using Your Birthdate to Find Answers About Relationships, Career, Money, Sex & Health;and How To Ask For A Raise Without Getting Fired - And 24 Other Techniques For Resolving Conflicts At Work & In Life; and Winning Your Next Promotion In One Year (Or Less!).

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Larry Schwimmer is president of, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the "best dates" to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. The firm currently advises a diverse client base that includes politicians, presidents of major corporations and an MLB baseball team. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: