THE BLOG

Two Ways to Tell If Your Partner is Cheating on You

02/17/2015 12:00 pm ET | Updated Apr 19, 2015
Cindy Ord via Getty Images

Hopefully, you're in a relationship with a loved one where you both honor your vows of fidelity to each other; and there is never a reason to suspect your trust has been violated. Yet the reality is:"According to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, approximately 50% of married women and 60% of married men will have an extramarital affair at some time in their marriage."

There is no greater betrayal than to be deceived by a partner in a love relationship especially over the issue of fidelity. It's especially disturbing when your intuition tells you that something is not quite right and after ignoring it, you find out it was leading you to the truth.

So, if you suspect your partner is having an affair and cheating on you: is there a way to know? Unless you catch someone In flagrante delicto (i.e."caught in the act"), there's no foolproof way of knowing for sure if you're being cuckolded by a philandering lover straying far from your matrimonial bed. But you might find the truth in your personal horoscope. Look at your chart and see if the planet Neptune is in your 7th House of Relationships or in your 12th House of Hidden Secrets. What you learn might shed light on whether your fears are real or imagined.

Beware of Illusion in the Relationship

In whatever house of a horoscope Neptune transits, a person is subject to confusion, illusion and delusion. This is especially true in your House of Relationships when it comes to your spouse, partner or lover. During the years of your Neptune transit, make sure you have your antennae up and alert, sensitive to any behavior or situations that indicate that there is a problem in any of your close relationships - especially in a romantic partnership. For example, in your marriage you or your partner may be keeping your feelings hidden from each other or acting deceptively in different ways. It may be too painful or too scary to openly discuss differences that exist. Ultimately, when the truth comes to the surface, it may bring problems of resentment and upset.

A Neptune transit to your 12th house brings even greater possibility of self-deception because you become not just confused - but blind and psychologically vulnerable to illusion. This house is also known as the House of Illusion, Secrets, Sell-undoing and Self-deception. Look here to discover all the things about "you" that YOU don't know and can't see--that everyone else can. This is the house of denial.

It's the rear view mirror in which you see yourself and your relationship to your partner; but the image you view never quite matches reality. I once had a dear friend who deluded herself so much about her spouse, we called her "Queen of De-Nile." Her husband was having affairs all over town and everyone knew he was a cheat except her. She had so deluded herself that she could have walked in on her husband in the act and he would have escaped his infidelity with the famous Groucho Marx line, "Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?"

Look For These Symptoms

Let's first discuss your own mental, emotional and psychological state when Neptune is in either of these two houses of your horoscope. It is a time when potential conflicts can occur because of poor communications, misunderstandings, deceptions and outright misrepresentations.

Neptune's influence also brings the likelihood that one of you will over-idealize your relationship. You may love your partner so much that you create a fantasy about your relationship and not see it realistically - to the point where you think things are going well when they really aren't. Another possibility is that you don't truly understand your partner's motivations and intentions. They may be hiding their true feelings or not even aware of what they are. So during this time you're susceptible to self-deception where you may see your partnership as you'd like it to be, instead of the way it really is. Here are some surprising statements that you or your partner may say during Neptune's transit: "She said she's no longer in love with me," or "I can't believe he's been unfaithful all these years," or "I thought we were happily married, so I'm shocked she's asked for a separation."

For this reason, it's especially important to have an open and honest dialogue with your partner to make sure you clearly understand what's really happening in your relationship. This will give you the opportunity to freely discuss any problems that may exist between you, especially if you suspect infidelity.

When a Secret May Be Revealed

During a Neptune transit to either the 7th or the 12th house it's important that you trust your intuition in order to receive clues that will help you be more aware of any problems you should pay attention to. During this transit a secret can stay hidden but if your antennae is up and your intuition is strong, you may find that a secret is revealed in an unexpected way.

This happened to a client of mine whose husband had pledged fidelity to her. He had been faithful for many years and by all appearances they continued to have a loving relationship. She never ever had any reason to suspect that he would be unfaithful. In recent years, their sexual relationship had waned and had been replaced with more basic affection of handholding, occasional kissing and lots of hugging.

When her spouse returned from his business trip, she sensed something she hadn't before, but couldn't put her finger on what it was. She was feeling a strong Neptunian intuition that something wasn't right. When she casually asked him if anything unusual occurred in his travels, she was met with a perfunctory, "Oh no, everything went fine, just another long business trip trying to satisfy demanding customers."

But she had this nagging feeling that her husband had been unfaithful even though there was no proof. Her doubts were removed when she impulsively opened up an envelope addressed to her husband, marked confidential. In it was a hospital lab report siting a "positive" result for his STD (i.e. sexually transmitted disease) test.

When she confronted her husband about the lab report, he admitted the truth that he had been unfaithful on his last business trip and had cheated for the first time in their 12-year marriage.

Intuition Can Protect Us From Deception

Because Neptune's influences can bring both deception and self-deception into your life, take extra care that your heightened imagination doesn't interfere with your ability to see reality especially in your intimate relationships. With a Neptune transit, you have the capacity to perceive and analyze your everyday world using your intuition as well as your feelings - not just your rational intellect. Trust your intuition during this transit. If you notice anything peculiar in your relationship with your partner make sure to calmly discuss your fears or concerns so that you can find a way to resolve anything that might be wrong. If there is nothing wrong, you'll feel better that you openly addressed what was bothering you and received reassurance.

The dark side of a Neptune transit can certainly bring confusion, delusion and deception. However, the fact that Neptune is transiting any house in your horoscope does not mean that your partner is cheating on you. But, it is a time to be sensitive to that possibility.

Despite these negatives, remember that Neptune's influence can also bring very positive qualities to these same houses in your horoscope. A Neptune transit has the power to fill your heart with deep romantic love and great joy affirming your faith you are in an ideal partnership with someone who is worthy of your trust.

Is Neptune bringing a major change to your relationship? Find out if Neptune (or other transits) are affecting your 7th House of Partnership or 12th House of Secrets by going to the Free Transit Calculator and entering your birth date. And, if you're curious to learn more about your personal Horoscope in 2015 and what it says about your love relationships, career, investments and health: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2015.

Larry Schwimmer is an astrologer in private practice. For private consultations on your compatibility with someone, contact him at: Larry@astrodecision.com or go to www.AstroDecision.com

Read Larry Schwimmer's latest books, What the Hell is Going On in My Life? Using Your Birthdate to Find Answers About Relationships, Career, Money, Sex & Health;and How To Ask For A Raise Without Getting Fired - And 24 Other Techniques For Resolving Conflicts At Work & In Life; and Winning Your Next Promotion In One Year (Or Less!).

To Sign-Up for Larry's Blog, click here

For more by Larry Schwimmer, click here.

Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the "best dates" to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. The firm currently advises a diverse client base that includes politicians, presidents of major corporations and an MLB baseball team. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: www.astrodecision.com