Has it already come to this? Mitt Romney told a crowd of New Hampshire supporters that, "One of the ways that you help instill, if you will, family values is by having [the] White House be a place that demonstrates family values... And, you know, I think during the last Clinton presidency, the White House did not demonstrate that in a way that was helpful to our nation's culture."
The message is clear, ladies: If you vote for Hillary Clinton, your husband will cheat on you. Also, apparently, the decline of western civilization was set off by Bill Clinton's blowjob, but there's really nothing we can do about that, now. True to form, Romney evaded the real underlying question: Whether or not he is prepared to promise that, as president, he will refrain from sleeping with your wife -- or mother. Perhaps it's best that he didn't, given his propensity for the about-face.
The resurrection of the "family values" cliché seems an odd choice for a Republican candidate at a time when more and more Americans are adjusting their definition of the term to more heavily weigh Democratic strengths like education, health care and the environment. But, that's assuming the target of Romney's rambling jab was actually a Democrat. And, we're a bit early in the game for that.
The apocalyptic Romney-Clinton showdown, should it happen, is still over a year away, so there's no need for Romney to risk alienating voters by blaming the victim for the misdeed. Or worse yet, to remind them that they're dealing with the same Republicans who've consistently let them down since the phrase entered our culture. No, as far as Clinton dalliances goes, until they drag out Bill's latest Last Call Lucy on election eve, Republican hopefuls are best off avoiding the subject altogether.
Sorry to state the obvious, but for the moment, Romney has bigger fish to fry. We have to assume at this point that Romney's real target isn't the Clintons, but rather the Giulianis. Romney's telling Republicans that he, his just-pretty-enough wife and five wholesomely hunky sons would just plain look better in the White House than the Clintons -- and more importantly, that Giuliani can make no such claim.
After all, it's a safe bet that we won't be seeing any touch football games or family picnics in Giuliani campaign ads. In fact, all Clinton has to do is say that she stuck out Bill's "imperfections" because of love for her husband, her daughter, her country and her God and suddenly she looks like parent of the year compared to Giuliani.
Just imagine, voters, the horror of a Republican White House campaign without soft lighting, tender family moments, and deep blue shadows walking solemnly down corridors. Well, maybe the last one, but the shadow will be bald. Without "family values," GOP style. It would be a sad day indeed for the GOP.