05/10/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

A Plea to Kevin Smith: Fatty, Accept Thyself

I'm really happy that Kevin Smith caused a stink about getting thrown off a Southwest flight. Their seats are ridiculously cramped (even for people who aren't "morbidly obese") and the absolute rudeness of that fat-phobic flight attendant who kicked him off deserved to be called the hell out. Smith is on a rampage, dedicating countless tweets and smodcasts to raging against Southwest, but like most of us, he's still part of a bigger (hyuck hyuck) problem.

Every time he says that he's trying to lose weight, it's a win for them. Every time he says he's not "that big," it's a win for them. Kevin, own the fact that you're a big fat fatty: there is nothing wrong with that. You have a crazy-successful career, you're obviously brilliant, you have a beautiful wife and child, and yet, you're still apologizing for your fat. You need to own the fattness, bro. A way to do this? Be honest about the Southwest situation. Maybe the seat IS uncomfortable for you, and maybe that's not your fault. Maybe in an attempt to cram more people into smaller seats, the once exciting, glamorous experience of flying is now a nightmare. Don't say that you need to lose weight and that you're not that big. Say, "Hey, this sucks and has got to change."

Another thing Smith can do? Cast some freaking fatties in his movies -- and not just dudes. Cast some hot fat chicks as leading ladies. I'm not talking Shallow Hal-style either (shudder), I'm talking genuinely sexy, smart, cute, fat actresses. They exist, it's just harder to find them because many (especially the younger ones) aren't working or are a tragic case of the "after photo." That will change if they start to get roles. Smith throws some rotund love towards chubbers like Seth Rogan, but his female leads are always stick-thin, classic Hollywood hotties. It's kinda like the "SNL: No fat chicks!" policy. Sure, bring on Chris Farley (RIP) and Horatio Sanz, but a fat woman? NO WAY! And let's face it; fat people are funnier than skinny people. It's just a fact. How much more awesome would Zach and Miri Make a Porno be if the female lead had been a chubosaurus? MUCH MORE AWESOME.

Smith definitely still buys into the ideal that thin is better, and it's reflected in his reaction to being kicked off the plane and in his casting choices. Smith, it's time. Join the fat army. Stop apologizing for your fatness; revel in it. I don't mean go out and eat Cheetos until you go into cardiac arrest; eating healthy, whole foods and exercising is important for people of every size. I mean embracing the size that you're genetically predisposed to and working it. Prejudice against fat people is one of the last socially acceptable forms of prejudice and it's not okay. My plea to Smith is this: go to bat for the fat team. With your intelligence, fan base, and loud-ass voice, you can help make progress toward fat acceptance.