THE BLOG
05/29/2013 12:39 pm ET | Updated Jul 27, 2013

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

I'm tired of it! I'm tired of us getting in our own way; holding ourselves back from all that we are meant to be, do and create for ourselves.

I have been speaking a lot of over the last couple of months all and as I hear from hundreds of women, diverse women of all ages and stages, I am struck by just how much we get in our way.

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And what I have found from listening to you, working with you and observing your life challenges and adversities is that there are three reasons why we become our own worst enemy:

Absence of Self Love

It is a privilege to be in a relationship with you. Yes, any relationship. It is a privilege to be your friend, your child, your lover/partner/spouse, your colleague, your client. And as all privileges go, it is one that should be earned.

What is shocking to me is that while I know this, you don't believe it. You take this privilege for granted, allowing yourself to be in relationships that haven't yet earned the right to claim you a part of it. And that makes me crazy!

You are beautiful. You are courageous. You are fun and fabulous; and have an unlimited capacity to love.

But until you believe that you are a privilege; and that being in a relationship with you is a privilege, neither will anyone else.

Lack of Information and Education

If your journey through divorce or any other life transition is anything like mine has been, you are facing challenges and experiences for which you simply don't have the answers. And they are leaving you feeling overwhelmed, frightened and simply exhausted.

Perhaps they are financial adversities. Or dating challenges. Or even professional, family or friendship issues. And like me, you may not know what to do next; or what the solution might be.

This doesn't make you stupid, or incompetent, or ignorant. Rather, it makes you in need of new information and a new form of life education. The challenges and adversities that my divorce and life after divorce posed for me became the catalyst for and the beginning of my "graduate" work.

You, and me....we are not newbies in life or love; we are upperclassmen. We need a new, more sophisticated and far better understanding of why we and others do what we/they do and how we can create what we do want in our life and love regardless of the complexities life throws us.

And I promise you; this knowledge and education will give you exactly what you need to create your next chapter with clarity, confidence, courage and control.

Not Being Accountable

So ladies, I am going to say it like it is. If you do not take responsibility for your role in all that has and will happen in your life and love, you will never gain what you truly need to have everything you want as you move forward.

This is not about being right or wrong. It is not about blame. It is about being accountable for your words, your actions, your behaviors and your choices.

Perhaps you were not the one to "do" anything to cause the situation you are now in. But what if simply staying in your marriage, job or relationship was what you need to be accountable for? Staying, allowing and placing yourself in situations and relationships that are harmful to you in any way (emotionally, physically...) is something you need to be responsible for.

Owning our role in the situation does not in any way marginalize or absolve the other person for their role. However, owning our piece is what ultimately frees us to create all that we truly desire.

So, how do you hold yourself back?

It is time for us to stop being our own worst enemy, and instead, be our own greatest love, partner, advocate, and friend; powerful beyond all measure!

Laura is the CEO of Laura W. Campbell Enterprises, www.laurawcampbell.com where she guides women to intentionally create the life they desire and the love they deserve.

Today's women lead busy, full and often complex lives. As a Life and Love Intentionalist, Laura enables women to not only believe that what they want is possible, but gives them the skills, tools, confidence and courage to go out and get it.

Through her proprietary program, The L Spot, she teaches Intentionalism which is where intention and powerful planning meet; allowing women to create a life around the truth of who they are and who they are meant to be. Through living with intention, women will maximize their performance personally and professionally; becoming accountable for taking daily, massive action towards achieving their dreams.

Her passion and true life purpose is to support women on their journey to create the life desire, and the love they deserve. Her unique model is a combination of her M.B.A. in strategic planning, her Certification as a Life and Career Coach, her training through the Anthony Robbins Institute, her experience and her personality.

Laura is also a Divorce Strategist and the founder of The D Spot, www.discoverthedspot.com , where she supports women as they move through and forward after divorce. She is the author of The Ultimate Divorce Organizer: The Complete, Interactive Guide to Achieving the Best Financial, Legal and Personal Divorce, encouraging women to divorce with intention.