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What Oprah and I Have In Common

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I was thrilled to see that Oprah hosted a two hour special of her Next Chapter series with the man who truly changed my life after divorce, Tony Robbins.

The first hour of the special followed Oprah as she experienced Tony's signature event, "Unleash the Power Within." It was so much fun for me to watch! About a year after my divorce, I enrolled in the Anthony Robbins Mastery University, a series of events and training that took over two years to complete. And it changed my life.

As I sat and watched Oprah's experience, I realized that she and I had something in common -- we both had the privilege and benefit of participating in a Tony Robbins event.

The second hour of her show was an interview with Tony to talk primarily about her "A-ha" moments during the event, which were many. Having gone through the experience myself, I thought I would share three of Tony's powerful messages that we both learned through our work with him and how you can apply them in your life today.

1. The only thing holding you back is the story that you tell yourself about why it can't happen.

We all have a "story". Your story is made up of the many experiences you have had that together create the fabric that has become your life. Our stories are usually true; the events and experiences truly did happen. However, it is the meaning we choose to apply to our story going forward that can hold us back from all that we are meant to be. It is the embellishment that we make up that speaks to us, saying, "I can't do this because", "I will never be able to have that", or "that's impossible".

For example, I am divorced -- that is true. In the same way that you may have been emotionally abused, physically abused or are divorced as well. The facts of our experiences are undeniable, and true. However, they are not the reason for why we can't do, be and create our life in the way that we desire. Our story is our past, and has brought us to today; it does not define our future.

When we can embrace our story and use its lessons to guide our future, we will have created an empowering story that opens up the world for us.

Action Step: take out a piece of paper and put "My Empowering Story" at the top. Then set a timer for 30 minutes and begin writing your empowering story. Do not stop until the timer goes off.

2. It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.

Everything begins with a decision. It is in the moment of your decision that your plan for the future will begin to unfold. Yes, creating your destiny will take action, discipline and commitment, but it begins with a decision to do, be or create something.

When moving forward after divorce, so many individuals become stuck in the pre-decision state. It is not that they don't want to move forward or hope that things will get better, but they have not made an active decision to do it.

Once you have made a decision, whatever the decision may be, you will have set your destiny in motion. You may not yet have figured out the "how" to make it happen, but you will have released the intention and the energy that will guide you there.

Action Step: on another piece of paper, write down two decisions you are prepared to make. For each of these decisions, write a paragraph about why you have made the decision and what it will mean for you and your destiny.

3. When going through a tough time, you are in what can be called a personal "winter". Like any other season, you will not only get through it, but you can decide to grow through it.

We are in winter. We are in a worldwide economic and financial winter; and for many of us who are going through and moving forward after divorce, we may be experiencing a personal winter as well.

What do we know about winter? Well, we know it is a season, and that seasons always end. Winters are time for skiing, staying warm, "hibernating", reading, learning and preparing ourselves for when spring comes.

Winter is not permanent. It is temporary and has an end.

When we go through our own personal winters, we can find comfort in knowing that they are temporary and we will move through them; coming out on the other side. And while we move through it, we are not helpless. We can prepare ourselves for the coming spring; we can set a strong foundation for growth. This shift in perception from feeling permanently stuck to the freedom of temporary will allow you to take action during a time when it may feel helpless.

Action Step: on a final piece of paper, make a list of all that you can do during your "personal winter" to prepare yourself for spring. What would it mean if you could accomplish them all?

These are only three of the profound and empowering messages and lessons that both Oprah and I have gained from our experiences with Anthony Robbins.

I have incorporated many of his lessons and his models into what I do at the D Spot and am privileged to be able to share them with you as I support you along your journey.

As you apply these to your lives, please let me know if they have made a difference for you!