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Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh

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What The Eating Disorder World Wants Mrs. Obama To Know

Posted: 02/01/10 03:36 PM ET

In the eating disorders world, putting any child on a diet is not only unacceptable but appalling.

In the eating disorders world, a father referring to his child as "chubby" and commenting on her eating habits is not only frowned upon it is reviled.

In the eating disorder world a mother who felt her children were "perfect" should not be corrected by a doctor who points to the children's weight as altering that.

In the eating disorders world it is well-known and embraced that healthy children rapidly gain weight as they approach puberty.

In the eating disorders world it is understood that dieting is an unhealthy behavior, that healthy weight is whatever one's body ends up with when they are behaviorally and mentally healthy - a wide range of body shapes and sizes. Average weight people can be unhealthy, and non-average weight people can be healthy.

Behaviors, not weight, are appropriate health goals.

But OUTSIDE the eating disorder world none of the above is true. In fact, most people believe the opposite on every single point, and are not aware of any other way to think or that the science supports all of the above. I am sucker-punched to read that our First Family put their daughters on a "diet" because they feared "obesity" and no doubt will be lauded for it.

This is not an eating disorder issue, however, and it should not be only us who know this and speak out about it. These are medical, social, and ultimately self-defeating errors in thinking that do harm to all children and all of us. I am very sad today.

 
 
 

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10:51 AM on 02/11/2010
Given your background, I can somewhat understand the hyper-sensitivity to this issue and the readiness to pounce on any high-profile role-model for a perceived misstep. However it seems to me the first lady was addressing the issue from the standpoint of the HEALTH of her children, not their body-image or looks, or what size they wear. Aren't eating disorders usually connected to self-esteem and body image? Also, since we've become too afraid to mention healthy weight issues with our daughters, we give them the message that it's fine if they are obese. THAT is unhealthy. Please, let's find a balance and not give knee-jerk reactions to reasonable discussions of the issue.
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04:10 PM on 03/30/2010
I agree that this is a really one-sided viewpoint. More of our children are obese than ever and not eating healthy food. They suffer in more ways than one for this. There is nothing harmful about encouraging your child toward healthy habits and insisting that they be on a "balanced diet " or "healthy eating plan." It's called loving your child.
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nannews
Frances Perkins would weep...
10:29 PM on 02/04/2010
You're critical of Michelle Obama's encouraging her daughters to eat fruits and vegetables, and avoid sugar-loaded soft drinks???

How you extrapolated this to mean she was advocating for children, including her own, to mimic the rail-thin models that abound in print and media is beyond me.

Eating disorders, including bulimia, are quite another matter from steering kids away from foods that are high in calories and low in nutrition. And to the mother whose daughter attended the same school as the Obama girls: please refer us all to your source for the statement you claim Michelle Obama made, that "being chubby is not perfect." Just to verify---thanks ever so!
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Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh
08:32 PM on 02/04/2010
I was introduced to someone on the First Lady's staff today. I had the opportunity to deliver a message and to receive reassurance that media reports were "inaccurate" and did not reflect the Obama family's intentions. That is wonderful and welcome news.

Here is my message to the First Lady:
Please clarify publicly that weight loss dieting is not appropriate for children.
Consider using behavior-based language instead of weight-based language when proposing health measures.
Consider the risks of eating disordered behaviors in all health policies around weight.

I do not believe in dieting, but I do believe parents must take responsibility to provide wholesome meals, pleasant physical activity, regular sleep, and model healthy behaviors and body image. The antidote to dieting is a balanced and joyful relationship with one's body.
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M. LaVora Perry
I write books for kids
12:47 PM on 02/04/2010
Thank you for writing this article Ms. Lyster-Mensh. When I watched and listened, open-mouthed, while the president unveiled Mrs. Obama's new obesity initiative, I cringed. Then I went straight to my computer to email the first a letter that I also posted on my blog: "Mrs. Obama, Please Make 'Pro-Fit,' Not 'No-Fat' Your Message" http://mlavoraperry.wordpress.com/2010/01/

This obesity insanity has got to stop. I wonder how low we will go down this treacherous path until it is widely realized that we are deluded about the role body size plays in health. And now our first daughters have to deal with our national neurosis about this, thanks to a mom, who, unfortunately, is all to typical in her approach to handling an issue that should not be an issue at all--their weight.

I urge everyone of any body size who has ever dieted, thought of dieting, or thought, at any time, that they were "too fat" to read "The Obesity Myth—Why America’s Obsession with Weight is Hazardous to Your Health" by Paul Campos.
11:59 AM on 02/04/2010
Come on people! Here is what Mrs. Obama did: The girls then had to adhere to new ground rules - less burgers, low-fat milk, and fruits and water instead of sugary drinks; the change was significant, she said.

Do you let your kids drink soda and fruit juice instead of water? Eat burgers on a regular basis? If so, well, then no wonder your kids have eating disorders.
08:14 PM on 02/04/2010
I'm not sure how you can equate drinking soda, fruit juice and eating burgers with developing an eating disorder. If that were the case, a huge percentage of the population would have eating disorders.

Eating disorders are biological brain disorders which patients do not choose to have and can not choose to simply give up without medical intervention. The point of Laura's article is that the threat of obesity can not be conquered by teaching kids that life is one long diet. Unfortunately parents of ED kids have a front row seat for the problems that kind of thinking can cause.
10:46 AM on 02/04/2010
It is very good that the First Lady didn't miss an opportunity to talk about childhood obesity in our nation (we may be the first generation of adults to outlive our children due to this problem). However, Mrs. Obama may well have missed an important opportunity to talk also about the very real dangers of eating disorders among our children/youth. Perhaps, with the aid of such discussions, she will think more on both issues in the future. Thanks.
08:54 PM on 02/04/2010
Welcome back, Kelli. I was getting worried about you. See ya soon over at Paul's blog.
10:15 AM on 02/04/2010
Where exactly did Mrs. Obama say she "put her daughters on a diet"??? Never. All she did was say that she made sure they controlled their portions and cut back on the junk food. I wish my parents had done that when I was their age. I might not be toting around this extra fifty pounds that I have lost and gained numerous times over.
10:39 AM on 02/04/2010
What the author, Laura, has written is about compassion ~ first & foremost.
01:26 PM on 02/04/2010
I absolutely disagree. She does not write about compassion here or elsewhere. Oversensitivity and overreaction, along with gross oversimplification of issues, seem to be her trademark. Consistency is notably absent. Last week, she argued that authors writing about parental influence on eating disorder behavior should "give it a rest!" and "knock it off!" http://eatingwithyouranorexic.blogspot.com/2010/01/knock-it-off.html Guess the Obamas don't get a pass. Her grandiosity in claims to represent parents or the "eating disorder world" is something to see.
09:35 AM on 02/04/2010
Not having your children on a healthy diet is child abuse/neglect.

It's another kind of stereotyping. Many children who are overweight are in the cities and you don't find Krogers, Meijers etc. in downtown Detroit, Cleveland and other cities. I worked in Child Protective Services/Foster Care & Adoption. Working with families you realize these are generational , access & information problems. If you've never learned about good nutrition, and this country hasn't because of the misguided food pyramid, you don't know that you're not providing the proper balance. If you're on government hand out such as WIC or Focus Hope you take what they give you because it's food. Money is another problem because fresh, nutritious food is not in the budget. Frozen will have to do. Access is a big problem. Some people have limited transportation so access to better food is a problem. Unless you are living with people 24/7 you don't know what they are feeding their children. Even people who have money get their information from the food companies and don't understand the connection between good nutrition and health.

Many people are victims of the circumstances of their lives. So they do the best they can. Education is the key but there are so many additional layers to this problem education itself is not enough. Compassion from those is better situations would be appreciated for the efforts they do make. Condemnation only reinforces the negative.
10:21 AM on 02/04/2010
Frozen food is as nutritious as fresh food. More so if the fresh produce has been sitting out on the shelf, or in a truck or box car for days on end. The longer it sits, the more the nutrients break down. With frozen vegetables, they are frozen right out of the field, where nutrients are at their peak. To say that one has to "make do" with frozen foods is pure hooey. Sure, fresh produce usually tastes better, but it's not always nutritionally superior.
09:31 AM on 02/04/2010
A paradox ~ & one which cannot be easily ignored ~ is the challenge of raising healthy children (with a healthy mindset about their bodies & food) in a society where both childhood obesity issues exist alongside anorexia & bulimia issues. Both problems (obesity & eating disorders) can be medically & psychologically dangerous. For a young anorexic sufferer being hospitalized just to keep her alive ... it is just as difficult (and arguably even more so) to gain those necessary pounds as it is for another adolescent girl or boy, who is overweight, to stay on a diet to lose unwanted pounds. There is so much pressure on kids to be what adults feel they ought to be; and this is even more clearly shown with the First Lady's words about her own children. When a child's appearance takes precedence over the beautiful human being they are meant to be, then we all lose; because we've all (parents, doctors, schools, etc.) failed them.
09:11 AM on 02/04/2010
As the grandparent of an obese teenager, I couldn't disagree more with the idea that it's harmful to help children control their weight. Sadly, my granddaughter is at great risk of diabetes and other health problems in the future. She's being raised by her widowed father who has poor eating habits himself. Understanding and speaking out about the dangers of childhood and teenage obesity is no different than being honest and open about any other form of disability or disease. We have an epidemic on our hands that won't be helped by silence and criticism.
09:04 AM on 02/04/2010
This author needs to take several steps backwards and a deep breath. Eating disorders are psychological issues that manifest as physical. Mensh has read way too much into Mrs. Obama comment. Diet doesn't necessarily mean deprivation-it can mean healthier eating. Those children have been photographed for the last three years and from what I've seen-no problem there. The best thing that can be done for these children is the Clinton approach, information blackout.

As a society we need to stop thinking of Drs. as perfect and everything they say is gospel. They are people and come with their own bias and agenda's. How many years was the food pyramid been forced down our throats promoted heavily by Drs. and the medical profession only to find out several years ago it was created by the INSURANCE industry. The obesity problem was initiated by a industry who told people to eat large amounts of unprocessed carbohydrates loaded with MSG and HFC on a daily bases.Bad food makes sick people and sick people are profitable. Much of this was forced on the children of this country. I can't tell you how many times I've seen that pyramid in clinics, hospitals and schools.

Mrs. Obama needs to chose her words more carefully because people will jump on and nit-pick the most innocent of statements and twist it to write articles that really says nothing.
09:42 AM on 02/04/2010
Danchi

You are misinformed about what eating disorders are. They are actually physical/medical conditions (having a malnourished brain from restricting food or binging/purging) that causes psychological symptoms due to changes in biochemistry from the brain being malnourished.

And, the only way to get out of those psychological symptoms is to eat food, high calorie and high in fat to nourish the brain so it can be restored.

Each of us has a set point of where our normal weight would be if we had balanced nourishment and those who recover from an eating disorder often find that their ideal set point of weight, does not fall into the average BMI for their height.

We all need a balance of foods, protein, fat, and carbohydrate for our bodies to function optimally.

We have learned a lot due to researchers such as Walter Kaye, MD at UCSD about eating disorders that dispells the myth you are echoing.
09:02 AM on 02/04/2010
Mrs. Obama never said anything about eating disorders. Her peditrician warned her that her daughters were at risk for obesity. A fact you fail to mention is black women have the highest rates of obesity compared to other groups, four out of five black women are overweight or obese. Furthermore black children between ages 6 -17 are 1.3 times as likely to be overweight than Non-Hispanic Whites.

The doctor rang out a warning shot to Mrs. Obama. Within the black community curvy women are celebrated. It is accepted/expected for teen girls and women within our community to have wider hips and a larger posterior. Traditionally black girls and women do not experience anxiety and shame about their bodies. It is estimated that only 5% or 1 in 20 black women suffer from eating disorder. So to interjct the idea of eating disorders into the conversation is in my opinion baseless.

So I say this in the nicest way possible to all the critics back off. Get the facts. As a black woman who has successfully dealt with her own weight gain issues through adolescence into adulthood. Mrs. Obama did no different than what a parent should do. She notice a problem and rectified it.
08:59 AM on 02/04/2010
This is ridiculous! Mrs. Obama has done nothing wrong and I commend her for taking a stand against what has become a growing epidemic in this country. How she chooses to raise her daughters and keep them healthy is between she and President Obabma.

Certainly, everyone has a right to their opinion but I think in most cases, there are those who are ALWAYS looking for something wrong so, no matter what she said in her interview and no matter how noble her cause, you were looking for something wrong even if you had to make a huge issue of something that really isn't at all an issue.
08:57 AM on 02/04/2010
Mrs. Obama did not put the girls on a diet. She changed their diets and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not sure what the writer's intent was here. Besides eating disorders are not the result of weight loss or gain - they're self-esteem driven and weight issues can be the result.
08:31 AM on 02/04/2010
I applaud you Laura. As a former parent where Michelle Obama's children attend school, I am saddened by her lack of understanding how her words impact her children, their peers, and all other children who are in the midst of puberty.

When my daughter heard these same comments (being chubby is ugly, fatty foods are bad, being thin is ideal, etc) in her school lunchroom, by health teachers, PE teachers, it began a serious descent into a deadly eating disorder. She feared their checking of BMI and food journals because she did not want to be seen as "too big" or eating "too much".

By age age 11 my daughter went from being a tall, strong, healthy, athletic prepubscent girl, to a 75 pound walking skeleton.

Our pediatrician, a fellow parent at this private school, told us these toxic statements and school practices were harmful.

We saw the percentage of children suffering from an eating disorder, anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating was higher than the national norm. In my daughter's class it was at least 6% and those were the ones we knew of - since many times bulimia is not detected early since they are "within a normal BMI".

Although not all who "diet" for the"ideal weight" will develop an eating disorder do we want to give the message that you are not "perfect" with few extra pounds?

Michelle Obama do you want healthy children or their peers to suffer giving the message that being "chubby" is not perfect?.