First, I heard on a PBS special about pets that many of us today have had longer relationships with our dogs than with significant others. Then this morning, I heard that many people are so in "love" with their iPads, that they would rather break-up with their significant other than break their devices!
What's going on here? Dr. Randy Gunther, a psychologist writing over at Psychology Today, believes that our apparent addiction to ever newer technologies may be causing us to also be constantly seeking novelty in our intimate relationships.
Dr. Gunther says: "The multiplicity of connections and continued motivations that great, long-term relationships require are hard to come by and easier to leave behind, especially when another new and more exciting experience is easy to find."
It is always easier to give up than to make any real commitment to a more long-term liaison. New love is always exciting at first, but I do not want to live in a world where commitment and loyalty are not valued.
I have noticed that even those who struggled with commitment in their 30s and 40s often mature enough in their 50s and 60s to finally learn how to truly love another person well. I personally found new value in true love at age 49. In fact, after much consideration, I decided that finding genuine love was my most important goal in life. For what is life without love?
I wanted so much to believe that there were still great love stories, and I could be a part of one of those. I found the first step was to find new ways to simply believe in love again, even after decades of bad relationships. I needed to find ways to let go of my past negative experiences and find renewed faith that love could be beautiful, strong and selfless. When I did that, I finally did find another who felt the same way about love, and about me!
Aging has it's advantages, and one is the certainty that none of us get out of this alive.
Accepting that fact is the first step towards finding new value in enduring love.
After all, who doesn't want to believe in a love that lasts "til death do us part?"