THE BLOG

Changing the Way We Experience Loss and Death

06/05/2014 10:52 am ET | Updated Aug 05, 2014

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Death is part of life. You've heard it a thousand times. But why? What reason could there possibly be that we or God (or whomever you believe in) created loss? Is it possible there could be MORE to the passing of a loved one than we previously considered?

This is my interpretation and expansion of a conversation between Oprah and Babyface (who had just lost his mother in 2013), a conversation that joyously changed the way I look at death, life and what's possible.

When someone dies who really loves you; a parent, a child, a spouse, a friend -- you can actually become happier. If you allow it, you can be uplifted with the passing of the one you love, becoming even more joyous, successful and intimate. You can resonate higher and happier -- even happier than you were when with your loved one on this physical plane. The grief that comes with loss does not have to take you down.

Why? Because the love of your dearly departed is now with you constantly and in a different and sometimes richer way, their spirit more available to you. Using Babyface as the example, he was extremely close to his mother when she was alive, but now has an even more profound and close relationship with her since she passed. A better (albeit different) relationship than he had with her before. He doesn't have to fill her in on the details of his life or explain how he's feeling -- his mom already knows. She's with him in every moment he wants her to be, can sense how he's feeling without needing explanation or description of emotion or the situation. Babyface connects with her daily and swears they are closer now than ever. Their bond is actually more -- more loving, more intimate and more (dare I say) telepathic?

So whether it's the loss of the one who birthed you or a dear friend, with that death comes the potential for a monumental infusion of positive energy. If you allow it, with that loss comes a chance for real and positive change. After grieving, these infusions can actually build you up. Your life can blossom. You become stronger because you're literally infused with the spirit of your loved one and the two energies -- yours and theirs -- blend together in synergy to create a more empowered, joyous you. It's now 1+1 =3. This is only possible because your loved one is no longer physical.

This is the one gem of light in the otherwise torturous loss of a loved one. Being conscious of this gift, allowing it and remembering it (for yourself and others) could be life changing during grieving, so spread the word.

Blogger's Note: THIS is what you write about in a condolence card.