It's a scene hard to forget: a 16-year-old girl early in an unplanned pregnancy, alone and leaning up against a junky trailer somewhere in west Texas. Has anyone sadder looking been on television recently than Becky Sproles in last week's episode of Friday Night Lights?
It was Becky's loneliness that got me. The decision she had to make -- whether to give birth to a baby she couldn't take care of, or have an abortion -- was wrenching, for sure. But it was so much worse because the only person she could talk to, and have some hope of being understood, was a high school principal whom she barely knew.
Where, I wanted to know, were her girlfriends? Oh, that's right. She didn't have any.
Like many teenage girls on TV today, she had no girl her age who would listen, perhaps challenge, certainly console and in the end, support her decision.
Where have all the BFFs gone in the TV shows of the last few years? The true Best Friends Forevers, not the frenemies of the current Access Hollywood/E! celebrity culture. Where are the Buffys and Willows, the Blossoms and Sixs, the Kellys, Donnas and Brendas?
Has the "mean girl" phenomenon taken such hold in Hollywood that girls who care deeply for their gal pals -- and fight for, not against them -- are now seen by TV honchos as uncool and impossible to sell to teen audiences?
As a female colleague who works closely with the entertainment industry asks, "Why can I think of more teen girls on TV who got pregnant than those who have a close girlfriend?"
I do not for a minute think it's because there are few real-life examples of young female friendships. I've met and written about mean girls (I called them Alphas), but I've met many more girls who enjoy the same kind of close connections girls have always enjoyed.
These young women are being ignored by writers and producers who think they have a better formula: Show pretty girls stealing each other's boyfriends or embarrassing each other in public or taking each other down on the barroom floor or better yet, in bikinis on a sandy beach.
Friday Night Lights started out as a platform for small-town football stories. It attracted female as well as male viewers, in part because of the terrific writing and acting.
It is now more about relationships than football but make no mistake, these are relationships from a guy's point of view. Aside from the principal, Tami, and her daughter Julie, the key players are men. And the female story lines are built around men: Julie and Matt (a relationship the website says "shaped the young woman she has become") and then Julie and Ryan; a girl named Jess who goes out with Landry and has a crush on Vince; and of course, Becky who has pined for an older guy named Tim since this season's beginning and had sex once with Luke, whom she barely knew, which resulted in her pregnancy.
One reason the absence of girl friendships jumps out is that I'm currently reading a very different story. The Girls from Ames, by Jeffrey Zaslow, is about 11 girls who were born in the early 60s, grew up together in the college town of Ames, Iowa and, other than one who died in her 20s, keep up their friendship to this day.
As teens, they talked among themselves about sick parents, annoying siblings, mean teachers, mistakes made on their first jobs and, of course, boys. Sometimes they did things with boys they could not reveal to the group but they always confessed eventually, at least to a best friend in the group.
They always felt better after confession, which confirms what researchers have known for a long time: female friendships keep girls healthy and well.
As girls move into their 20s, young men begin to consume more of their time and energy. Until then, girlfriends are their lifeblood. Teenage girls who don't have female confidantes tend to withdraw and become depressed or seek out male companions for attention, as Becky did.
If Becky had had even one good girlfriend, maybe she wouldn't have gone to bed with Luke in order to feel close to someone. Maybe her best friend could have talked her out of it, or handed her a condom. And been there to console her if she got pregnant and to help her think about her choices.
Yes, Hollywood, there are Beckys out there. And there are also Brianas and Stefanies and Rachels and millions of other girls who are there for their girlfriends -- forever. Your young viewers need to see them as well.