Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.- Aristotle
Have you ever been unfairly criticized?
Because hurtful words don't heal easily, if at all.
Instead, they fester.
Scornful words slash your self-esteem apart, leaving you with an open wound, brutally exposed for more disdain and salt to be poured on.
You feel ashamed, vulnerable, stupid...
...and then angry.
Angry because you're trying so hard. Because it's so unfair. Because you're doing your absolute, damn best.
Why can't they see that?
Why!?
For one reason only ... they don't know your Story.
It's Your Story
They don't know your story because they have only played a cameo role. Embarrassingly, they believe they've been a central character from page one when in reality they are little more than a footnote.
There is only one central character in your Story. Only one who was there on the first page and will be there on the last - you.
And only one hero.
Because true heroes and heroines come from within, not without. Others may aid and abet you, they may turn up at the crucial moment and give you the strength or knowledge to carry on to the next stage of your journey.
But when you reach that last page and look back, you'll find that all those fairy tales lied. The hero or heroine never rode in on a white horse, they were there all the time.
It was you. You are the hero of your Story.
No One Knows Your Soul But You
No one, not even your parents can claim to know who you were born to be. Next time some petty fault-finder criticizes you harshly or wrongly, ask yourself have they any true concept of your 'innate characteristics', your very core?
- Do you they label your natural empathy, your highly sensitive nature as 'overly emotional' or even 'pathetic'?
- Do they misjudge your natural introversion for diffidence?
- Or your natural confidence for arrogance even?
- Have they any inkling of your rich, inner life?
The early chapters of my life were so chaotic and tempestuous that the introvert in me took refuge in anything quiet, stable and serene.
This coping habit fooled others into thinking I was dull, over-cautious, even unadventurous. But just because I wasn't a loud, brash attention seeker or the life and soul of every party, didn't mean I was dull. I was just different.
And different is good.
The person they think they know is the one you wear outside. They've no perception of who you are inside.
No One Knows All Your Struggles & Triumphs
Most grumblers and moaners criticizing you weren't around for the critical, opening chapters of your Story. They've come in half way through, arrogantly thinking they have a good idea of the person you are, the character they see you as.
That's like judging a book by its cover. And no, you can't judge a book by its cover if that cover is still being drawn, designed, fleshed out.
Their hasty summary doesn't contain all the pages of your personal struggles, the tough times and the good times that have shaped the unique person you are today. It's a sketchy outline at best.
They weren't there for your early triumphs, and failures. The ecstasy and the heartbreak. Your history is a mystery to them. More missing pages in the story they've tried to double-guess.
Your inner battles probably wouldn't make any sense to them even if they did know. Your phobias or hang-ups may be their loves and likes. Your fears, their desires.
But the critical remarks that flowed my way wouldn't have stung so much if I'd known then what I know now - it's ok to be different, to have private pages of your Story written in invisible ink, for your eyes only.
We all have secrets.
You'll have secrets you're not ready to share, maybe they'll never be for others to know. You're the unique person who you are largely because of them, and that's fine.
Only You Know Where You Are Right Now In Your Journey
Nothing in life stands still. Everything is in motion, including the ink spilling onto the pages of your Story as they are written.
You are changing, adapting, developing and progressing all the time. Where you are right now however is important because it's who you are today.
And who you are today is a consequence of all your yesterdays.
Imagine opening a book and letting it fall open at a random page and then trying to guess the plot and the motivation of the main characters from that one page. Fun, but impossible to do.
Critics see you standing on a specific spot, ignorant of the roads that brought you here or those you're about to follow. They think this is the 'final' you, as if your story had already come to an end.
But they are wrong...
No One Knows Where You're Heading
What other people think of me is none of my business. - Wayne Dyer
So next time someone misjudges you or wrongly criticizes you, just look over your shoulder.
Because they must be talking about someone else.
Nothing in what they've said has any bearing on you. And even if you recognize a small element of truth, their hurtful criticism isn't going to support or nurture you in your journey.
So don't take their hurtful criticism to heart - just let their heartless words fall on your page and then simply rub them out - erased, deleted - gone.
These critics may or may not mean well. Who cares? It's your story - so own it!
After all, their opinions, their carpings are none of your business. Your business is to keep on writing your unique story - part romance, part suspense, all adventure, all blockbuster - whatever you want it to be, it's your Story.
And there are plenty of people along the way who'll recognize the wonderful personality you were born with, even if they don't know the struggles you've overcome to arrive where you are today and the awesome future you're creating.
Because know one can know all your Story, not even you.
Because your Story's only just begun.
And the best is yet to come...
To make sure you say 'yes' to the things that serve you on your Story's journey and 'no' to those that dont, grab Laura's free cheat sheet: 5 Simple Guilt Free Ways To Say No Without Offending Anyone (Even If You Hate Conflict)
Please go to Positively Positive to read the original post.
Image courtesy of Pixabay