Earlier this week, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer died by suicide. He was gay, he had been bullied and harassed because of his sexual orientation, and he had even created an It Gets Better video.
In response, Lady Gaga Tweeted: "Bullying must become illegal."
Jamey's death is a tragic reminder, on the anniversary of last fall's series of suicides, that we still have far to go to make it better. But it is also a reminder that, as we grieve, we must stay focused on the proven, positive ways to protect young people.
Too often, our desire to never see such a tragedy again -- understandable in the wake of this type of heartbreaking news -- leads to reactionary measures that only cause more harm. Already, Lady Gaga's message is catching on, with the University of Buffalo's Center for the Prevention of Bullying cautiously lauding her activism. I support Lady Gaga's intentions and I'm devastated by Jamey's death, but criminalizing bullying is not the answer.
Bullies are children, too -- and they're acting out messages they learn from everyone around them. All students face immense challenges and barriers to graduating and getting a quality education. While bullying shouldn't be one of those barriers, neither should an overly punitive response to bullying.
If we value the right of ALL youth to an education, that of LGBTQ students as well as the bullies harassing them, we must ask ourselves: should that right come at the expense of their peers' education?
Moreover, when we criminalize and punish behavior, rather than intervene and correct it, we hurt all students. "Zero tolerance" and similar policies tend to harm most those we seek to protect, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. If a student suffering abuse fights back, how will the authorities judge who deserves jail or expulsion? Such policies assume that principals and administrators don't harbor the same human biases that their students exhibit, making it too easy for a bullied student to face double the punishment. We need to end society's prejudice, not the futures of the young people influenced by it.
We can Make It Better. It's great that Lady Gaga is bringing national attention to this problem, but now we must focus on real solutions. By writing letters, starting and supporting Gay-Straight Alliances, talking to teachers and administrators and mobilizing our communities, we can push schools to enforce existing non-discrimination policies in a way that doesn't contribute to an environment of fear and punishment, but rather fosters a culture of safety, inclusion, and respect for all students.
Follow Laura Valdez on Twitter: www.twitter.com/makeitbettergsa
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The Federal Govt. not the answer.
I have to wonder if you were ever 14? When I was 14 my friends and I were very focused on dating and sex...that's reality. Perhaps if you, and everyone else, wasn't so damn hung up about sexuality...we'd have far less suicides over it.
His orientation may have contributed, but he would have been a focus for bullies even if he was fornicating with every cheerleader at the same time.
The child (based on the news stories I have read; this being local for me means I have seen a lot) identified as something different with the false belief that it would have no real effect upon him. His videos and what not showed a very odd--not in a bad way--child that really needed more help than he was apparently receiving.
Also there is much less of a focus nationally about his other problems (recent death of a loved one) and apparent discussions and mentions of suicide in the past. It became all about him being bullied to death, which seems to be ignoring a lot.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-peron/power-and-bullies-why-gay_b_975135.html
The real problems with your proposal, though, are 1) that it only indirectly pressures the school to make some changes, and 2) it doesn't do anything to help the kids who are too ashamed to report the bullying to their parents or teachers.
One problem is this could lead to the stories we've heard about zero tolerance with guns. We have heard stories of young children being suspended or expelled from school for using a 'finger' gun while on recess. We've also heard stories about high school students being suspended for having hunting tools in the vehicles in school parking lots. A local student was suspended for having one of his fathers work tools in his fathers car while on school grounds.
Zero tolerance can go too far.
Age must also be taken into account. If a 6 year old calls somebody a name he heard his brother use....should that child be arrested or suspended?
But....
On the other side, children need to know that they can not run roughshod over anyone with actions and language. We must have a somewhat polite society. These students need to know there are penalities for their actions and they can't do what they want just to make themselves feel better...like a 'big man'.
And the wider problem is this: we are not a culture that values being respectful to each other. You know those people who think bullying is deserved training for later life? The odds are those people work in corporate environments, which really DO operate under the same principles, but then those people think that's all kids should be trained for.
And look how our media and news stations behave. Our newscasters are manchildren screaming at each other. A celebrity does something wrong and the media won't leave it alone for weeks.
Or look how we behave towards other COUNTRIES, not just other Americans. We visit death and bombs on their infrastructure, causing their children to have to play in sewage, and then we WONDER why they're MAD at us!
Or look how we behave in restaurants. We throw screaming tantrums if we don't like our food, then blame the waiter when the waiter asks us to be polite.
This is a huge American problem, and bullying is just one of its many manifestations: the problem is that we don't value being good to our fellows (Not that we want to ADMIT that we don't value it).
People who do this shouldn't be allowed outside.
I'm not sure we educated people really UNDERSTAND to what sheer extent rudeness and nastiness has become "the norm" in most of the country. We think it's just someone else's problem. Unfortunately over 55% of the country IS that someone else. As Joe Bageant pointed out, "the heartland" is the turf of most of the country.