For the first time in history, three women could sit on the Supreme Court. If it happens, two of them will be childless. Whatever the reason for this personal decision by Justice Sonya Sotomayor and recently nominated Elena Kagan, there's a subtle, yet powerful, message being sent to working women across the nation: If you want a perch at the pinnacle of your profession, it's easier without kids.
And not just kids, without husbands. Ever since Kagan was 13 and dressing up in a judge's robe, she has been preparing for this job. From law clerk to Dean of Harvard Law School to Solicitor General, she has been doggedly, diligently riding the legal hamster wheel, checking off boxes and moving ahead toward the ultimate career brass ring. Same holds true for Justice Sonya Sotomayor. But why have they chosen to do it without a family?
Some speculate that there is a fear among ambitious women that they can't rise to a preeminent position if they start a family because of the intense job pressures -- late nights, long trips, the need to be available 24/7. Let's face it, could Justice Sotomayor really schedule car pool from One First Street, N.E.?
This town is littered with examples of women who have given up having a family to advance their law careers. Former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice comes to mind. So does a litigator at a high-powered law firm who spends 70 hours a week either on the road or at her desk. Not a lot of time left in that schedule for changing diapers or pushing a stroller in the neighborhood.
Ask any woman who has had the privilege to serve at the Office of the President how long she was able to keep her career together before her family life careened off the rails. Even C.J. Craig, who played Press Secretary and later Chief of Staff in the popular tv series West Wing, was single.
It's easy to turn the lens on my own profession. Uber-star ABC World News Tonight anchor Diane Sawyer, while married to movie producer Mike Nichols, does not have children. And remember Joyce Purnick, who in 1998 caused a stir among reporters at the New York Times for admitting to a commencement audience at her alma mater, Barnard College, that she wouldn't be metropolitan editor if she'd had kids? She said she never decided not to have them, it just happened.
While the pressures for women may be too great at the upper echelons to withstand adding the mommy title to their resume, the incentives also play a role. These high-powered jobs come with perks: proximity to power, financial security, and let's not forget the occasional invitations to the President's box at the Kennedy Center.
But being childless doesn't have to be the only way.
71% of women in the workforce have children ages 6-17. And for the first time in history there are more of us working than men. So why -- with the numbers on our side -- are so many working women climbing the ladder frustrated with the lack of corporate flexibility? Why aren't more companies offering job shares and telecommuting? Why isn't this cacophony of unhappy voices being heard?
The problem lies at the top. Senior corporate executives, predominantly men, with a handful of women who have paid their dues by working 10-12 hour days at the office away from their kids, set the tone and policies for working mothers. If they sat in the cafeteria and listened and watched, they would realize that these mothers, who still bear the brunt of childcare responsibilities, don't need to be at work all week to be productive and plugged in -- thanks in great part to technology.
While some bad apples have tainted "working" from home by underperforming when not in the workplace, the answer is not eschewing flexibility, rather it is incumbent upon corporations to set meaningful performance goals for employees and to hold employees accountable no matter where their desks are.
Flexible work arrangements may not have been possible in 1957 when Sandra Day O'Connor made a choice to stay home for eight years and raise her three children before returning to the workforce in 1965, first as Arizona's assistant attorneys general, and ultimately as the first female Supreme Court Justice. Nor would it have been as easy when Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was raising her two children; Jane, born in 1955 and James in 1965.
As a working mother of three (10, 6, and 2), I can vouch for the fact that holding down a full-time corporate job would have been easier without the endless middle-of-the-day doctor appointments, teacher conferences, and "Mom have you seen my soccer cleats?" phone calls. But it was doable thanks to my BlackBerry.
Of my four best female friends in Washington, three are lawyers, one is a business woman. All are or have been at the upper echelons of their professions. All of us have two or more children. We do it. We juggle conference calls and crying babies, we tuck in kids before going out on a weeknight to business dinners; we schedule time to look at email while on vacation. And while my friends and I are making it work, we'd all tell you it takes a toll on your health, and your sanity.
Recently, I traded in 60-minute daily commutes and 10- 12-hour days in an office building for the flexibility of owning my own company and setting my own hours. I've never been happier. But not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur.
I know many women who struggle each day to find the elusive balance between work and family. If being childless is not an option for you, it's time to raise your voices, demand flexibility in your workplace and show the world that yes, you can work full-time and be productive members of a corporation without being chained to a desk just because that's the way it's always been done.
Lauren Ashburn is President of Ashburn Media Company in Washington, DCand worked as a Managing Editor for the Gannett Company for ten years.
Follow Lauren Ashburn on Twitter: www.twitter.com/laurenashburn
Jodi Jacobson: Politics Over Women's Rights: Kagan in the Clinton White House
It is both deeply troubling and simultaneously not surprising to realize that the only things we can know about Elena Kagan is that she was a "political pragmatist" in the Clinton White House when it came to women's rights.
Randall L. Kennedy: The Media Jabs Are Unfair, Kagan Will Fight for Equality on the Court
There has been some grousing in the media about the paucity of racial minorities hired during Kagan's Deanship. I have known her for twenty-five years and must say that these criticisms are unfair.
Allison Gilbert: Elena Kagan: Getting to Know Her Through the Loss of Her Parents
We've already learned that Elena Kagan is a remarkable woman with outstanding professional credentials. Something else, however, may be even more revealing about her character.
Bradley W. Bloch: Want a SCOTUS seat? Plan in High School, Before It's Too Late
For many fields of endeavor, we're making decisions about people based on the choices they made between their junior year of high school and their junior year of college.
And I'll add my voice to the notion that not all women want children. Some of us never wanted children and are happy to be child-free regardless of any other ambitions.
However, the reverse stereotype are just as prevalent. I am a loving husband and father of five. When I tell women that, the typical response is "Wow! You must have an amazing wife. I would go nuts!"
I respond, "She sure is - but you don't that she makes all this work by herself do you?"
Most people are shocked to think that I run an international, home-based business with my wife, that WE home school AND that after 14+ years of marriage, we're having a good time and rewarding life.
So all that matters is that - if you are doing life as a team - that you are both/all on the same page with the same values/goals. If not, then with or without children, you're like most of America and growing more apart than together - give me a call/email! ;)
But please, stop assuming that all men are dipshits who run their business/corporate/job train without any concern for those hitched to him. There are quite a few of us out here who work as hard as any other parent (man or woman) to juggle it all without popping a vein. Some days are better than others.
And yes, my wife is amazing.
That wasn't what I said or meant to imply. Quite the contrary. Men should have the same dispensations from their employers as women do when it comes to family priorities. It's sexist otherwise, to only permit mothers, and not fathers, the workplace flexibility to care for their children.
Maybe they wanted children but it just didn't happen for them. Lots of women want marriage & kids but somehow, for various reasons, the opportunity to marry & have kids just doesn't happen.
Lauren Ashburn makes a really big assumption about these women - did they tell her personally that they were childless by choice?
Not the point. The point is that you can have a satisfying life without bringing a child into this world.
Love,
Mom
Every which way you look someone is making that point. There is a real war on women who want children and very little support for them. Women have never been free to make their choices with out judgement. First you were judged if you were childless & now you are judged if you want kids. For all the talk of women being able to make their own choices, with out judgement - that's not true unless the opinion makers agree with that choice.
Where is the father in all this? If you are married, and he does not have a job requiring a lot of travel, get HIM to do some of that arranging, staying home with the sick kid sometimes. No way in HE** would any husband of mine get away with me taking Junior all over town for this or that. Forget it! I'd rather not have any kids than deal with that.
The question for men and women is essentially the same. Do you regard your spouse and children a distraction from your goals or the thing that keeps you grounded and gives you perspective? The people who balance demanding careers and family lives are the ones who feel a bacic desirability in the balancing itself.
Another way to approach it would be to ask those in the demanding careers: Could you have done this without your spouse and children? A certain fraction will say that they would have gone off the deep end without them.
What, then, is the point of having any family if you have those demanding careers where you spend 70-80 or more hours a week working? You don't see them, or when you are home you are probably too tired to spend much time with the kids. This is something I don't understand. Why have kids if you are gone all the time? Why be married? You have to be present to have these relationships.
The question is asked "why do these women (mainly, the 3 affiliated with the present day SC) choose not to have kids?". Well, it could be a simple choice not to, as offered in the article. Perhaps there are other reasons, like not being ABLE to have children of their own? Maybe marriage/family is viewed as more of a hindrance for the lifestyle they want to lead as opposed to career aspirations? Sexual orientation aspects did not appear in the article either, and the impact that might have (or if it did, I missed it). I'm confident there is not a 'one size fits all' proponent to all this.
But these gals appear to be the exception, not the norm. Increasingly, women are achieving the highest echelons of public and corporate life. It was reported on this site just the other day that female CEOs made more than their male counterparts in 2009. Certainly, some of them might have chosen to not have kids, but many will.
Now to ponder the real message in this article.....
Secondly, I applaud you for knowing who you are and what you want. Many women aren't confident enough to say they don't want kids, and no one can blame them since they are often met with inappropriate comments. It would be wonderful if more people were as thoughtful and reflective as you BEFORE they had kids. I personally believe many women have children without having given a single thought to the effect it will have on their lives. Some do it just because it's "expected" of them, others simply because they weren't careful enough to take appropriate precautions. Whatever the case, if women (and men) thought longer and harder before bringing a life into the world, and the time, attention, love, and care that it takes to mold them into productive, responsible people, we'd all be better off.