Before pregnancy, babies and vomit, I was a woman.
During pregnancy, I was a woman too. In my early stages of parenthood, I still would have called myself a woman.
But now I barely resemble one.
Now I'm a mother.
And that is it.
Many, if not most people, will disagree. They will say that I am more of a woman now than ever before as I have been pregnant, as I have given birth and now as I nurture my baby.
But I know me, and I know I am not the woman I was. I'm not the exerciser. I'm not the bright red lippy. I am not the wild curly hair. Nor am I the tight fitting clothes, the tall high heels or the funny, witty person I used to be. Somewhere between four and nine months postpartum I lost myself.
I'm not surprised. I'm barely getting sleep with a baby that wakes five times a night. Plus, I've been supporting hubby in his first Ironman and as a consequence I am eating his diet of high carb meals which never makes me feel good. On top of this, I have been focused on my thesis, which by coincidence is on women's health.
Yet it wasn't until I reflected on my pregnancy and role as a mother that I realized in some ways I am half the woman I was and in other ways more woman then I ever have been. I am after all a breastfeeding milk machine, but where has the sassy, witty, exercise, health food nut with long blonde curly hair gone? It seems that, along with my milk, I've expressed her out.
So this Mother's Day will see a new beginning.
I am giving me the gift of myself!
I am giving myself back to me this Mother's Day.
I will put on my skinny jeans, red lippy and curl up my hair. I will go for an early morning walk, I will do 30 minutes of pilates and I will eat food that makes me feel good and that I know is good for me.
I will do all these things. Why? Because I want to be the best mother and I want to be the best woman, which is the best gift for both myself and my son this Mother's Day. The perfect gift for both of us!
What is your perfect gift this Mother's Day?
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