I have been meeting for over 20 years with parents whose children are about to start kindergarten. While there was always some level of anxiety at these meetings, it was nothing compared with recent years. When did "I will miss my baby so much" turn into "How will my child survive?"
Remember when kids played, got used to being in school and learned their ABCs in kindergarten? That's not what's happening these days. In my community, kindergarten is full day and looks more like what first or second grade were for the parents of these new students. Yes, there may be activity stations, tables instead of individual desks and a few puzzles and games. But make no mistake about it -- this is not your momma's kindergarten.
Thus, the parents have asked me really tough questions in recent years. Here are six typical ones, complete with my attempts to give honest answers:
- How is separation from parents/guardians handled at the start of school? It generally isn't. Be prepared to leave your child at the door. This is not meant to be cruel to you or your child. It is a reflection of the realities of family life these days. Most kids' parents/guardians can't be there that first day. Many kindergarteners will arrive by bus. If you are lucky enough to be able to deliver your child in person, make your farewell loving but brief.
It was hard to answer these, and many other, really good questions. I never want to frighten parents, as they are already worried enough. But they were asking about their precious 5-year-olds who are still vulnerable little guys. So I tried to answer each question with empathy for the very legitimate concern expressed.
My bottom line message is what my blog is all about - Still Advocating. Parents need to advocate for their children respectfully, but they still must advocate. Ask questions. Get as involved in your child's school as possible. Learn about the curriculum your child is being taught. Be aware of the assessment and testing and the consequences of your child's performance.
Rhonda Cohen, Cherry Preschool's Inclusion Director, often tells parents who worry about being *that* parent, "But your child needs you to be *that* parent." Sage advice. Listen to your child and let her know that you believe in her. And never forget that, as your child's first and best teacher, no one knows your child as well as you.
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