When I read of Marie Osmand's 18-year-old son Michael Blosil leaping to his death from his LA apartment, and the recent suicides of actor Andrew Koenig and designer Alexander McQueen, I thought of my best friend Delia, who took her life at 37. Like them, she was privileged and loved. Like them, she was young and clinically depressed. And like Blosil, she had attempted suicide before.
Delia was the girl with everything: a loving husband, two adorable and adoring young daughters, an 18th century farmhouse filled with antiques, set on lush grounds. She was smart, kind, beautiful, revered in our Westchester county New York village, active in the community. Hundreds of people crammed the sanctuary and grounds at her funeral.
Nine years before her death, when I moved to my nearby house with my first husband and two young sons, Delia came over with a bouquet of garden flowers to welcome us. I was charmed by her grace and warmth, and we soon became best friends.
Our families celebrated New Years at each others' homes, we took our children trick or treating along the back roads where the Headless Horseman himself had traveled. We traded books, we started a monthly dinner where we prepared foods of the world. Delia and I supported each other, talked every day, shared dreams, confided about our fears.
Seven years before she succeeded, Delia attempted to take her life, with an overdose of pills. Her husband called our house in a panic and we rushed over and threw her in the front seat of our van and sped to the nearby hospital. She was in a deep coma, but came out of it. People were told she had an allergic reaction.
I didn't see that attempt coming, and for the next years I could never really forget it, or completely trust her mood. She was fragile but seemed happy enough. She completed her Master's at Teachers College Columbia, and became a popular elementary school teacher.
About a year before she died, Delia became gaunt, her eyes haunted. She was seeing a psychiatrist, and on meds, but appeared lost and frightened. She told me she felt like she was in "a dark hole." She said there was nothing I could do. She doubted everything she did.
I felt we were losing her, but I didn't know what to do. And then in May, when the air was filled with the scent of lilacs -- the weekend before Mother's Day-- she became overly happy, camping out with her daughters by her pond. Strange behavior for a woman who had never slept outside before.
And then the call, from her housekeeper, on a weekday morning. The police had already arrived. I was two blocks away, and rushed over to see my best friend removed from her house in a body bag. The door to her car was still open from when she had rushed home from teaching.
Her husband, who worked in the city, couldn't bear to hear the details. He had to commute for an hour, knowing she was gone, but not knowing much more. I was with him when he told his daughters, who were 10 and 12. They cried, and then went out to play. And then I called her friends, who didn't believe me. "She had everything," they said. "Why would she take her life?" What did her husband do to her that they didn't know?
They were trying to find a reason. But depression can be a terminal disease. There is no "reason," any more than getting a heart attack or cancer has a reason.
Delia did leave a note. I never found out what it said. I know that she loved her family more than anyone I knew, and would not have left them if she could have endured her suffering.
Years later William Styron, the author of Sophie's Choice who suffered from depression, came out with a thin book titled Darkness Visible. I read it and learned as best possible the terror of my friend.
Delia's husband never remarried. Her daughters grew up to be lovely women, like their mother. Her photo is the only one on my living room table who is not a relative. She remains forever 37. Like Alexander McQueen, Andrew Koenig and Michael Blosil, she was a beloved person who died too young from a dread disease.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.