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Leah Singer

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The 'Joys' of Mother-Daughter Shoe Shopping

Posted: 03/27/2012 4:24 pm

There are certain mother-daughter activities that many of us moms think will be filled with bliss. Shopping is one of those activities. More specifically, shoe shopping. Well let me be the first to tell you that mother-daughter shoe shopping is not necessarily all it's cracked up to be.

A few months ago, I took my daughter, Sophie, to a local store to find a few new pairs of shoes. Armed with my 15%-off coupon, we made our way to the children's shoe section where I expected to find a variety of sandals and croc-like shoes. What I did NOT expect was the overabundance of expensive light-up sneakers and sparkly, strappy heeled shoes. Sophie's a 4-year-old preschooler, not a finalist for a children's beauty pageant.

I decided to concentrate on the few pairs of decent, sensible shoes I identified. I even went so far as to show Sophie the Disney princess and Dora walking shoes. But Sophie would have nothing to do with them. All she wanted were items that flashed, played music or were entirely too big or too small for her.

Now before I go further, let me say I try very hard not to impose my clothing (or shoe) preferences on Sophie. I may think something looks hideous. But if it's weather appropriate and okay for school, I usually let her go with it. But I draw the line when it comes to Lolita-style shoes for 4-year-old girls. And I can't afford to spend a fortune on a shoe that lights up, even with a discount coupon.

After trying shoe after shoe, the shopping expedition was going downhill fast. I was getting annoyed, Sophie was irritated and other patrons couldn't even walk past us because of the endless shoes cluttering the aisle. At one point, I actually threw a shoe in frustration (not at Sophie). We left the store empty-handed and feeling anything BUT blissful.

After a few deep breaths and reflection, I did learn something from the shoe-shopping fiasco. And that is this: I should have given Sophie parameters in which she could help choose the shoes. Of course, I should have also pre-screened the shoes.

Armed with this realization, I put this into practice at Target where we attempted shoe shopping again. I told Sophie she could pick any shoe that had a 9 on it (for her size 9). That did it! She was excited and empowered, and it became like a game to her (to find the 9). It also assured me she would try on only the shoes that fit her.

We left Target with two new pairs of shoes. Do you know what Sophie settled on? A pair of white sandals and pink crocs -- identical to what she has now -- but in a size 9. Now that was a successful shoe shopping experience.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
peithecelt
Hippy survivalist academic gamer chick
02:17 PM on 03/29/2012
It's always been "this is your size, and we're getting X" (where x is sneakers, seasonal shoes (snow boots, galoshes, what have you), or dress shoes, depending on what we're looking for)..

It's amazing how well telling them what the parameters of the trip are works.. I'm dreading when sneakers are no longer the default daily wear shoe.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
seattleite4
Don't believe everything you think.
10:58 PM on 03/28/2012
Following myself but crocs and sandels? Please-- a good pair of tennis shoes with lights or not are a much better choice. Allow your girl to run!!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
seattleite4
Don't believe everything you think.
10:57 PM on 03/28/2012
You totally lost me when you said you bought her crocs. As a pre-K teacher I will tell you they are awful. They are not good to run in and they are not good on the playground. They fly off on the swings and fall off on the stairs and they offer no support and they are slippery when they are wet. Was this about price or function?
gamberdm
Common sense = Priceless
07:51 PM on 03/28/2012
If so many women weren't socialized to "love" shoppig, this would be a none issue. Shopping is a task to buy necessities. Greedy, over-indulged Americans have made shopping a past-time or hobby. Who hasn't heard of "shopping therepy?' Ridiculous. Buying something you need is no different a task than grocery shopping, seraching for a new mower when yours dies or even getting your oil changed at a garage. Stop glorifying shopping and half the battle will be won.
04:31 PM on 03/28/2012
as long as we could afford it, my mom got me whatever shoes I wanted. It didn't matter if they weren't her style, she wasn't going to be the one wearing them.
03:53 PM on 03/28/2012
I had to laugh when I read your story - I remember those years so vividly. But what I want to share with you is to hang in there because it all changes when they get a little bigger. Nothing makes us happier - my 21 year old daughter me - than to go to Chicago or even to the local mall and try on all the outrageous styles and share our love of shoes. Those are the happiest of times for both of us. Amazing the bonding that can be had over the right pair of sneakers or pumps!
07:09 PM on 03/28/2012
Looking forward to those days...my daughter is 17...she borrows my clothes and shoes, sometimes without asking. It's a mixed bag when you're the same size.
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fattrucker
02:33 PM on 03/28/2012
i am the father of two daughters who have NEVER been able to shop with my wife. the love to go with me. I let them get what they want and tell them they look beautiful, then we get something to eat and go home
03:15 PM on 03/28/2012
Hee hee...memories, memories! I loved shopping with Papa so much more than Mama...it was so much easier & faster. Cheers to you!
11:05 PM on 03/27/2012
Oh how I wish I could understand more about being a mom of a daughter. I have 3 boys and love it but still wish some how I could remember more of what it was like being a young girl. Great post! Really enjoyed reading it. I wrote about Parenting Boys: What Boys Need From Moms here if you are interested http://kelleyward.hubpages.com/_3u47dtkr7xqut/hub/Parenting-Boys-What-Boys-Need-From-Moms
06:14 PM on 03/28/2012
Hopefully someday, you like me, will end up with a wonderful daughter in law who is like a daughter to you.
09:59 PM on 03/28/2012
Thank you so much! I hope for that also someday!