What If Teachers Had Teleprompters? (Satire) (VIDEO)

On the other hand, scripting every teacher's utterances is not a bad idea. Think of all the problems that would be avoided:

1. No longer will parents have fuel to compare one teacher to another. All teachers will abide by their scripts and teleprompters will be made available for teachers who can demonstrate a need for their own 504 plan.
2. Teachers will no longer labor over the autonomy of creating their own learning experiences for their students, and mediocrity will finally be achieved. This removes one of educations primary goals. We can then move on to more important things, like tagging students' ears with their latest standardized test scores.
3. Differentiated learning will still be a must, but regardless of each student's deficiency, the script will dictate exactly what to say and do. This makes lesson planning much easier for teachers, freeing up time to confirm what every non-teacher already knows teachers do all day; drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, while waiting for the exact contractual moment to go home.
4. Principals can conduct staff meetings and address teachers' concerns prior to the meeting itself (that is, if he has a copy of their scripts). Unscripted questions will remain unanswered or upon principal's discretion a 400 page document outlining how to manage non-scripted questions will be provided in hard-copy AND emailed as a 30MB file.
5. Teachers will be most efficient in their downtime. They will no longer be able to engage in gossip, as they are so used to. All non-academic conversations will be dealt with swiftly.
6. Parents will be sent a list of pre-approved questions to ask during parent-teacher conferences. Perhaps being the best perk of all, this eliminates any surprises that teachers would otherwise face during these awkward encounters.
7. Teachers won't have to worry about students with special needs. There will be a single group of non-scripted educators who will be allowed to pull-out students as needed. Per the script, each class will have no more than two students who may take advantage of this differentiation. This level of educators will be formed from teachers who demonstrate consistent mastery of said script.
8. Equity above all else! For teachers who deviate from the script, there will Due Process for handling such matters. The Due Process will consist of the following interventions (in order):
1. Written warning.
2. Mentor provided to model the script. For every sentence or phrase uttered to students by the mentor, non-compliant teachers will repeat the phrase. Students will then hear the script twice, however this will be expected as the teacher's written warning will have already become public record.
3. Two-day suspension with pay. During this suspension, said teacher will be placed at a bus facility where no script is necessary as bus drivers are no longer to speak to the students anyway.
4. Revocation of teaching license or reassignment to Florida DOE. Along with other reassigned deviants, said teacher may make major decisions affecting education; using a script.
9. If a student asks an unexpected question (due to the nature of his/her script), said student will be provided with his/her own alternative student-version script. Repeated violations will result in extra non-graded, non-checked homework, repetitive non-checked worksheets and additional standardized assessments.
10. Principals will no longer need to visit classrooms. The principal can simply refer to each teacher's script and time schedule in order to know what is happening in each class. This allows the principals extra time to, you know, play the stock market.

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