Barack Obama won a historic and overwhelming victory. It's too bad the proponents of gay marriage don't seem to have learned much about how and why he won.
I am in total agreement with those who want gay marriage to be legal. They are right. Being right isn't enough.
In fact, many progressives have found an odd sort of contentment in being grumbling angry losers for years because they were so damn right. Now that Obama has lit the path for being both right and effective, it's time tor the conservatives to be the grumbling losers and time for progressives to chalk up victories on issues important to them by applying the lessons of this election.
1) Anger Loses
The protests and expressions of anger on the part of the GLBT community and their friends and family have been impressive. Thousands of people have taken to the street and their anger is justified. I don't think it's smart, however. I see no evidence at all that it's going to help advance the cause of gay rights.
If anger won elections, John McCain and Sarah Palin would now be the king and queen of America. McCain was practically bursting blood vessels in the last few speeches of the election and he lost in a landslide. Anger turned off the independents at the same time it fired up the base.
Just because anger is justified doesn't mean it's wise. That's where discipline comes in. As Obama said repeatedly, "Don't boo - vote." In other words, channel your emotions into something more productive then the easy road of making loud noises.
WWOD? The McCain campaign threw a fresh pack of lies at Obama every chance they got. The number of death threats towards him increased as the angry McCain campaign cranked up the rhetoric. If anyone was justified in their anger, it would have been Barack Obama. He could have struck back in anger and fired up the Democratic base to take to the streets to protest racism and lies.
Obama could have gotten angry.. He didn't. He won. We all won.
2) Get Organized
The No On 8 people have shown they can get big numbers out to a rally. So why couldn't they run an effective ad campaign, send out a clear message or win the election?
The Yes on 8 crowd had the advantage of a built in organizing system in the churches. It's the same organizational structure that explains why Fireproof, a Christian themed, ultra low budget movie with Kirk Cameron as the lead has grossed more than Oliver Stone's 'W'. Churches are good at getting groups of people to do things en masse. That's not a bad thing; it sure helps when they do charity work.
And the ability to organize people isn't a left / right thing; black churches helped Obama. There's a similar secular power with unions or groups like the National Rifle Association. None of it was harnessed by the people in favor of gay marriage to any significant degree.
Without that structural advantage, the pro gay marriage crowd needed to work harder and not be self satisfied. The forces that defeated gay marriage in California did what Obama did; they organized a diverse group of voters and got them out to the polls.
3) Outreach Works
Barack Obama showed that reaching beyond the base can yield big results. I haven't seen much evidence that the people who support gay marriage did much more than reach out to the people who already support gay marriage. In fact, rallies that have protesters yelling 'Mormon scum!' are negative outreach.
What if the gay community reached out to the black, Latino and Mormon communities that voted against gay marriage? What if instead of merely chalking up opposition to 'fear and hate' they went in churches and communities and started engaging in conversations? Would they meet with resistance? Of course. Would they see fear and hate? Absolutely. Changing a lifetime of thoughts and feelings isn't easy but the election showed us change does happen.
But African Americans, Latinos and Mormons all know firsthand the pain and frustration of discrimination. They have all seen their share of fear and hate. They know the value of marriage and family. The way to expose the things they have in common with their gay brothers and sisters is through dialog, not demonstration.
It may seem like an unlikely alliance but it's just as unlikely as getting a white working class guy to vote for a President whose middle name is Hussein.
4) Pick Your Battles
The Obama campaign showed a lot of discipline in picking which battles to fight and which to avoid. Here's a good rule; pick battles you can win.
The current tactic of trying to fight church tax exceptions is a dead on arrival loser of a battle. It's not going to happen.
Tax free churches have a long precedent in our society. It's a fight that will result in a direct battle with every religious organization in America, not just the ones opposed to gay marriage. Further, selectively going after the Mormon or Catholic church is a slippery slope. Trying to take away the tax exempt status of churches you don't like only makes it easier to take away that status for churches with inclusive agendas, like the Unitarian Universalists. Even that doesn't matter, however, since it won't happen.
Some people don't like the idea of picking battles because they want their entire agenda enacted right now. Well, wisdom says that 'perfect' is the enemy of 'good'. Incremental steps require patience but they work.
I believe that the enactment of Proposition 8 is a delay of the inevitable as our county moves towards a more perfect union. If my comrades will take a moment and learn the lessons of this last election, I hope that delay will be short.
Lee Stranahan is a writer and filmmaker who also blogs about politics at BobCesca.com which may sound like a contradiction but it's not but it is.
Follow Lee Stranahan on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Stranahan
In addition, liberal political leaders among heavily voting Yes groups did not step up, even a little, even when the political risk was minimal to none. Where was Barbara Lee, for instance? I'd like folks to give her a jingle and challenge her for an explanation, given her touting of her LGBT positions on her website.
The proponents of this prop have held rallies and they are angry hateful things with such vile things to say about their fellow man. I have seen none of that at any of these rallies. Disapproval of anger and hatred is not being angry or hateful yourself.
There could at least have been employment non-discrmination and maybe even civil unions but no- didn't fight the battles that could have been won and went for the gold and now , nothing. What do you say now to those who can't be on their partners health insurance? Who are fired from their jobs legally? Picking our battles could have been a reality in somebody's life but it isn't, is it? Left with life changing, realistic opportunities along the road that only lead to a all or nothing dead end.
I am straight, African American, and have been a committed practicing Buddhist for over 20 years . I do not find it acceptable in this day and age that LGBTQ people are discriminated against. It's simply wrong and against the principles of the U.S. constitution which essentially declare the equality of all people. If we restrain justified anger and fail to employ it constructively change will never come.
It's no big surprise that you can't have a gay wedding in a church, synagogue, mosque or temple. I can't understand people's surprise at that after centuries of persecution and rejection by these institutions. If you are really wiling to hang your believe system on some mutated prehistoric codes, then don't be surprsed when it turns round and bites you on the ass!
I personally feel that we should do away with the legal contract being called marriage altogether (seeing as the semantics call up the issue of "sanctity" which has no place in this argument seeing as there is a separation between church and state) and call ALL unions protected by law civil unions. If you want to have a marriage in a church, fine, but it has no legal recognition until you get the papers signed. Also, marriages should be harder to get into and easier to get out of so that people would take them seriously. A marriage license should have to be renewed like any other license.
I call my husband my 'husband' as that is what he is.
Am I right that even a gay marriage in California would be unequal to a straight marriage eg when it comes to immigration, since that is at a federal level, non US citizens wouldn't be able to marry their US partners and live with them in California?
If churches REALLY were interested in strengthening Marriage, as they claim, they would be insisting that everyone have the option (and the only option) to get married. The more couples who aspire and honor "marriage" the stronger marriage becomes as an institution throughout the entire population.
But please tell me how to look my 10 year old son in his eyes and explain when he catches the news and says in shock "you mean you and mom aren't really married?" Should I tell him he is expecting too much to expect to have his family validated?
No. We watched the peaceful protesters and I compared our struggle to that of his hero, MLK. I hope no one tells him that OUR civil rights aren't the same.
People are actually suggesting that we suspend equality until we help religion see the injustice of its ways? That hasn’t worked for thousands of years…is California that much more enlightened? Right now, I’m just concerned about another 5% support, not a paradigm shift in religious dogma.
No one is going to be able to convince evangelicals of marriage equality if they curtail your reasoning with “sodomy, sin, and salvation.” Save the outreach for later, when we stand on equal “legal” footing.
And don’t you DARE advocate neighborhood campaigning if you care one bit about our safety. We are STILL TARGETS of violence. I’ve already done campaigning in an old Irish Catholic neighborhood…you have no idea how many households keep baseball bats by the front door – seriously.
government sanctioned marriage of any kind (straight or gay) creates two classes of citizens, those married and those single.
this is an incredibly simple solution yet we are so rooted in tradition and incapable of thinking outside the box we end up digging deeper holes on a constant basis
I am a 50 year old woman happily married to a man I started dating in 1978, and I believe our relationship will survive other's non-traditional unions and doesn't need any protection from religous groups. Our union has been civil for decades.
I don't really have a dog in this fight, but I think it is the next logical step in the civil rights campaign.
PS Congratulations are in order, decades of civility is somethng to celebrate!`