I’ve long dreamed of the day that I could finally write the words “I am someone’s Mom”. I wish I could tell you the whole story of my son’s arrival into the world. That story is his, though, if he ever decides to share it.
What I can tell you begins with just how long we’ve been waiting for our story to meet his. My husband and I have now been together for nearly a decade in total, and we’ve always talked about starting a family. From early on, we’d just hope that one month we’d have a happy surprise.
“Hoping” ended up “spend a lot of time and energy in a fertility clinic.” Over the years, we suffered the heart-shattering loss of five pregnancies. Each more painful than the last. Just when we thought our hearts couldn’t break any more, or we couldn’t feel any worse, we totally did.
We considered all of our options and moved from IVF, to embryo donation, and ultimately to adoption ― which has become the greatest miracle we’ve ever experienced.
Adoption as our family’s destiny began in earnest last year. For many, deciding on adoption begins the next hard fought battle ― finding the resources to do so.
Like so many couples, my husband and I had no idea how to realize the dream of adopting a child. We had years of fertility treatments that had left our bank accounts depleted and we didn’t then know how we’d take the next step to become adoptive parents. We turned to the world to help us find a way to our baby.
We were absolutely astonished when, in only nine days, a family of angels and a ton of friends, had helped us raise all we needed to fund our adoption journey.
But our pain was not yet done. We were thrilled, when, several months later, our agency called to say they found our child. But that was still not meant to be. It still was not him.
Together, we stood strong: but my heart was crumbling, my faith was waning. Why did we have to suffer so much? Why was this path so painful? I wondered what we had done to deserve this kind of hurt.
We’d heard all the cliches: “It was all for a reason,” “It’s part of The Plan,” “It’ll be worth the wait.” I get it now. As my son sits beside me breathing his most beautiful breaths, I get it. I understand. My faith in life’s plan has been fully restored.
Now, back to what I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you about the courageous woman who brought our son to life. That’s their story, and it doesn’t belong to us either. Our son’s birth mother will be part of my heart forever―her bravery is the greatest act of kindness we’ve known. She is the hero of this story; I promise if you knew her, you’d love her as much as we do.
As for him, this little boy, who we’ve known since just a few hours after he entered the world: he has restored love to my heart in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
The moment I saw his face, I could see our lives ahead: I envision him toddling down our hallways, riding his bike down the block, backing the car out of the driveway, and dancing on his wedding day. I can see this, and so much more, ahead. He was meant for us: He’s perfect in every way.
When we began our journey, I wanted the perfect story. For a while, the challenges, made ours seem so much less than that. I hate to admit it, but I resented it―until the day I touched his cheeks and heard his first coos.
Our story IS perfect, you see. We just didn’t know then, what we can see so clearly now. Every heartbreak prepared us for the road ahead. The day, I met my son, the million broken pieces of my heart grew in size, fused themselves back together, and somehow seem to amount to an even larger heart than I ever knew I’d have. The blessing of this beautiful boy was worth every single minute of the road that led us to him. We’d walk that painful path a thousand times for a love as incredible as this.
I can’t wait to share the stories ahead, as his life unfolds, as my journey through motherhood continues and our life as a family begins. Motherhood really is the greatest job I’ve ever been given. I will give my son every ounce of my soul. I promise him the world will be his, and that we will carry his hopes on our back. We will hold him up high as he finds his way.
We’ve finally met our son. Our family’s magnificent happy ending is here―just the happy beginning.