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What's An Out Of Work Intelligence Minister To Do?

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The numbers are in and unemployment in Iran is up by one. According to the BBC, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad unceremoniously fired his Intelligence Minister Gholam Hossein Mohseni Ejeie. Getting kicked to the professional curb is painful, especially when it's sudden. But were there subtle signs Mr. Ejeie missed? Were there meetings he was no longer invited to? Were colleagues giving him furtive glances and stopping all conversation when he walked by? Was he suddenly not being CC'd on important emails? If so, it was time to ready the resume.

Unless you're the CEO of an ineffectual global conglomerate responsible for the economic collapse of the planet, severance packages aren't what they used to be. The suddenly now former Intelligence Minister will have to get busy finding another job. He should be posting his resume on popular sites like Career Builders and Monster. Depending on his salary, he might also try his luck with The Ladders. As their slogan says, they have "100K plus jobs for 100K plus talent."

But as any savvy job seeker knows, posting your resume is not enough. Mr. Ejeie will have to get out there and network. When talking to people in his industry he should be upbeat and confident, artfully weaving his abilities into the conversation, and taking care not to bash his former employer. Griping aloud that "Mahmoud is a bitch ass punk," might make Mr. Ejeie feel better, but it won't win him any points in the interview with a prospective employer.

Unlike a doctor or teacher, Intelligence Minister isn't exactly a job that travels well. Mr. Ejeie can't just up and move to another country, although I'm sure there are several that would like to chat with him about what he knows. Perhaps Mr. Ejeie can use this to land himself a lucrative book deal. A provocative title will ensure a best seller:

"10 Things I Hate About America"
"Dictators Who Do Too Much"
"I Know Why the Caged Man Screams"

A successful book would surely make him a sought after guest on radio & TV talk shows, and eventually make him a talking head security expert on Al Jazeera, CNN or the BBC.

But perhaps this is Mr. Ejeie's opportunity to get out of the intelligence business all together. He could go back to school or delve into a long deferred passion for fashion. What are the well dressed, cool clerics wearing these days? Robes and sandals are so old Testament. Not that it doesn't have a certain Biblical flair, but an Oprah-style make over couldn't hurt.

And if all else fails, there's always Reality TV. Mr. Ejeie could easily find himself on "The Bachelor," "Dancing with The Stars," or the new surprise judge on "American Idol." Hey, if he plays his cards right, he could be Paris Hilton's new BFF. Maybe getting fired is the best thing that could have happened to Mr. Ejeie. The world is now his Halal oyster.