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Leila Khalil

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Hire A Wedding Planner ... Or Else

Posted: 11/17/11 02:48 AM ET

To those of us in the wedding industry, hiring a planner to help with a wedding seems to be common knowledge. It's only when discussing the topic with family and friends that I realize people sometimes don't fully grasp the importance of one.

Haven't we all heard a story or two where something didn't go right at a wedding? It happens all the time no matter who is in charge, but the key is how those problems are managed. When a planner is not involved, is there someone designated to solve the issue of the caterer setting up in the wrong area? Who is making sure the gifts and cards are being accounted for? Or how about someone to find the cake knife and server when they disappear just minutes before its time to cut the cake? Most of the time the answer is no. Friends and family are left scrambling to solve these mishaps while also trying to enjoy the wedding as guests.

Almost every couple these days is working within a budget, but everyone seems to think they can save on costs by "doing it themselves." So they will invest in a great photographer to capture the moments and details, a floral designer is hired to make everything look pretty and money is spent on linens, favors and a dessert bar. However, when it comes to getting a professional wedding coordinator to pull together all those details, often times couples decide to skimp on that. A slew of money is spent in planning, but come wedding day, the execution of everything is pawned off on an aunt, family friend, catering manager, or bridesmaid. Paying to bring someone on board who knows what they are doing puts the day at ease no matter the scale of the wedding. Even if there are beautiful decor elements and photos to capture it all, if the bride and groom and their guests didn't fully enjoy it, that's what will be remembered.

Don't forget "you get what you pay for," and a wedding planner is no exception. Planners that actually service brides as a business and not as a hobby are indispensable and will typically charge a minimum of $2500 depending on wedding location, size, and tasks at hand. Anything less may indicate inexperience. Do the research; check out some of these blogs who have credible vendor directories and list wedding planners all across the US.

Not convinced? Below are accounts from actual brides who didn't hire the right professionals! Don't let this happen to someone you love.


1. Transportation nightmare: The shuttle may forget to stop at one of the hotels and leave guests behind before the ceremony is about to start... so now what?



2. Stranded at the altar: The couple may forget to designate someone to cue the musicians to know when the wedding party and bride should walk down the aisle. The groom and guests wait while nothing happens, but the same song plays over and over again.

3. Family Feud: Family members, who are helping run the day, may have a different vision than the bride and groom. With no third party mediator offering an unbiased opinion, the disagreements may escalate leaving the couple less than enthused about their wedding day.

4. Communication Meltdown: The bar tab may exceed the allotted budget, but no one checks in with the bartender so drinks are continuing to be served leaving the newlyweds with an unexpected bill at the end of the night.

5. Budget Blunders: Most couples overspend on their budget and waste a lot of time researching vendors within their price point. Planners are used to working within the confines of a budget, they do it every day. They already know which photographer is going to be in your price range and which caterer will give you the most for your money.

And P.S. -- A venue coordinator/catering manager is NOT a wedding planner. Stay tuned in the next few weeks to find out why.

To hear more from Be Inspired PR follow along @weddingPR and inspiredbythis.com

 
To those of us in the wedding industry, hiring a planner to help with a wedding seems to be common knowledge. It's only when discussing the topic with family and friends that I realize people sometime...
To those of us in the wedding industry, hiring a planner to help with a wedding seems to be common knowledge. It's only when discussing the topic with family and friends that I realize people sometime...
 
 
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07:41 PM on 11/29/2011
AMEN!!! Thank you so very, very much for such a well written post. Especially important? Your P.S. message.
06:16 PM on 11/27/2011
Personally I think this article is a bit heavy handed (!) but I *do* agree that couples should not expect their catering or venue managers to perform the tasks of a wedding planner. That's not their job. Same with family members and bridesmaids - they absolutely want to help, but make sure your expectations are reasonable. Things go wrong at weddings (I see it all the time as a makeup artist), and ending up in a fight with family or friends over who needs to deal with it isn't fun for anyone, least of all the bride. So many brides end up stressed, nauseated and frantic on the day of, which doesn't look like much fun. If they want things to go a certain way, then yes, hiring a planner is a VERY good idea.
02:18 PM on 11/22/2011
Thank you for writing this article. Many do not understand the importance of being stress-free on their wedding day. I am an event planner myself and i hired a day of wedding coordinator for my very special day. THANK GOD i did it. All i did was drink, eat and be happy the entire day I didn't worry about NOT ONE THING except for tripping over my dress. Most wedding planners LOVE what they do and have a passion and LOVE for people. I LOVE being a Day of Wedding Coordinator it makes me happy and joyful to see so much love at such a wonderful occasion. I have seen so many things go wrong as a Day of Coordinator that are behind the scenes and the Bride doesn't even know it. I always ask my clients, Do you want to enjoy your day or do you want to work on your special day?
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11:12 AM on 11/22/2011
first of all I apologize for any mistake, englis is not my first language :) I was reading the comments and I guess It depends on the couple and on the planner. There is people who want to plan everything, they would not find it better to have a planner even if the result is not as perfect as it could be with one and there is people who prefer to be a guest and discover the D day at the same moment as the guests, to discover something that will reflect their personalities and influences... then it depends on the planner it is true that some wedding planners want the wedding to be as they see it and not as the bride sees it, but it is not the majority. Most planners like it when the wedding is the bride's (and groom) dream that came true and they do their best and their job for this result. Beside, lots of planners has a second speciality! To end, love has nothing to do with the fact that you choose or not to hire a planner :)
07:50 AM on 11/21/2011
Wedding planners may be great for bigger weddings but this is certainly not a route I will chose to go for myself. I have just started planning a wedding that will have 11 guests in total. Simple quiet ceremony and a dinner. Wedding planners only seem to be a consideration if you are going all-out. I am more interested in the commitment I am making with regard to marriage than I am in throwing a huge party.
12:48 PM on 11/19/2011
Typically, I write and respond to the positive posts I encounter, but I was caught off guard with the blind one-sided path that this article was leading couples down. While I understand the sentiment of giving over control to ensure the perfect day, it comes across idealistic and insulting to the vendors that you assume are incapable of doing their jobs if not for the help of this single person.

I planned my entire wedding with my husband. It was a high end event at the Central Park Boathouse that went off without a hitch.You can see it in Style Me Pretty (http://www.stylemepretty.com/2011/09/16/the-loeb-central-park-boathouse-wedding-by-fs-photography-mckenzie-miller-films/).

I had a planner who proved to cause more work for me, didn't pay attention to what I said, and ultimately got let go of because she didn't do any work. Judging a wedding planner by the cost that they charge is outrageous. As I'm from New York, I know several will overcharge to fain experience. If you are going to work with a planner, view their portfolio and question them about what they did for each event. I'm sure that there are some great ones out there, but do your research...this person you have to trust and will spend a lot of time with.

In my blog (www.coffeeandchampagne.com) I give some positive wedding tips and other great treats I have encountered.
10:53 AM on 11/20/2011
Sadly, you hired the wrong planner. There are those that DO relieve stress and take the burden off of you- the bride. The planner's job is not to tell the other vendors what to do. In fact, if they are quality vendors, they should not need telling. The job of the planner is to facilitate and oversee the entire process of planning and to ensure a perfect day- FROM THE SIDELINES! I'm glad you had a flawless wedding, but this article is important, because many brides do not. As a planner, I have saved more than one wedding from disaster. And, I have been there to pick up the pieces after the wedding when something goes wrong- like a photographer that does not deliver photos! So, before you judge all planners by the one you mistakenly hired, please take a second look at all the wonderful and competent ones out there.
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10:16 AM on 11/19/2011
I just planned my whole wedding about a month ago. Yes, there were a few mishaps, a very small issues in the grand sceme of the whole day, but yet now its more funny than anything else. Now my husband and I have a story to tale. Life is not perfect, but if you can laugh at yourself life gets pretty close!
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IsyFleur
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. ॐ
12:03 AM on 11/19/2011
Wedding planners are essential... for making money for themselves. These planned American weddings meant to impress reluctant guests with stressed out matching bridesmaids and sickly fluffy icing are horrifying - and it is no wonder so many marriages end in divorce here, when they all begin with such nauseating pageantry. The sanctity of marriage indeed... Kim Kardashian, as despicable as she might be, actually accomplished a great feat: she epitomized in 72 days this all American creation of the wedding as just one more huge money making business within a shallow and purely materialistic society.
10:59 AM on 11/20/2011
A wedding is a once in a lifetime event. While it is true that many, like Kim Kardashian, do it with "nauseating pageantry", most do it with a very personal and emotional process. I have been very fortunate to have worked with these brides. Marriages end in divorce, not because of the cost of the wedding- or the fact that there was a planner. They fail because of the self- centeredness of people and lack of commitment when times get hard. This has nothing to do with the wedding. You negativity and bitterness is misguided.
01:37 PM on 11/18/2011
Thank you, thank you, THANK you! My salon does a bustling year round bridal business, and as such, we have two wedding planners that we recommend to every bride upon her initial hair/makeup consultation. If she's not interested in having a planner, we have talented staff members who can help her pull together details such as the photography, catering, cake, flowers, music--even the officiant! When I hear brides say that they're going to do it all by themselves, I wonder if they realize that it will be a full time job, not to mention the most frustrating thing they've ever done in their lives! (In the interest of full disclosure, my first wedding my mother and I planned and though it was a beautiful event, we almost weren't speaking on my wedding day.)
08:29 AM on 11/18/2011
If you want to enjoy your wedding..., then do not plan it - or allow anyone to do it. Your invitees are there to figure their own way how to enjoy themselves, if that is what they want to do!. If they have not figured it out, then it's not your problem, and most probably you do not need such as "friends"!
01:47 AM on 11/18/2011
Thank you for this! Being a wedding planner myself I know that I am 100% for sure going to have a wedding coordinato­r at my own big day- I want to be a guest at my own wedding. You don't want your family and friends being put to work on your wedding day.... they probably had to pay money and travel to get there and want to enjoy their weekend. I remember attending one wedding as a guest recently where there was no wedding planning at the banquet captain throughout the night kept pulling the father of the bride aside to ask him timeline related questions like "when are we cutting the cake?" If you have a planner they serve as a buffer between the venue and the family so the family can enjoy their evening :)
08:32 AM on 11/18/2011
Most definitely you should be a guest at your own wedding..., and sod the rest. It's your wedding!
09:31 PM on 11/17/2011
Love this line the most: "A venue coordinator/catering manager is NOT a wedding planner. " They are however VERY important. I love working with good ones who are also nice! (you guys know who you are) but yes, we have completely different jobs.
08:33 AM on 11/18/2011
Blah......................................................................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,,,,,,,,,,!
09:12 PM on 11/17/2011
Thank you, Leila, for helping inform our community about the work that we do. The wedding planner handles many things behind the scenes, so that the bride and groom can be the gracious hosts and the center of attention on their wedding day. Who would think...dealing with broken water pipes, handling wedding crashers, supplying music for the first dance to the DJ, securing the gifts, making sure that rentals are returned long after the last guest has left....Not the types of things that a bride and groom should be worried about on their wedding day.
08:45 PM on 11/17/2011
BRAVO - Many couples today are planning from out of town, sometimes from around the world, have parents in a different city than the wedding will be and are may be busy professionals... these are definitely the couples who need a wedding planner.

This is not a scare tactic, its the reality that a couples time is valuable and for a fraction of the total investment they can have peace of mind that everything on their wedding day is handled by a professional with a plan and a back up plan...

And you're right the Catering Manager is NOT a Wedding Planner - their job is food and beverage sales and overseeing their operation NOT the hand holding and attention to details ( many of which are outside of the venue) - it is definitely a team effort
11:01 AM on 11/20/2011
Well said, Mark! And, you are one of the best!!
05:09 PM on 11/17/2011
Seriously? I've planned two weddings myself, very different styles (one "big, white wedding" and one smaller "casual" affair) and never ran into a single problem. Of course I had designated people at the first wedding (210 attendees) to handle specific things at church, at the reception, etc. Ran into one problem and wouldn't you know it, the person designated to handle things at the church, handled it perfectly - no wedding planner needed. The second wedding was small and in my own home, went off without a hitch - no need for a wedding planner. A girl friend of mine recently got married and had both, Catholic and Jewish ceremonies. Her wedding was quite large and involved - she assigned friends and family members specific duties to attend to if problems arose, and her wedding went off without a hitch - no need for a wedding planner. All it takes is planning and organization - not that difficult, unless you are an unorganized and not a planner - then hire someone.