Traditional holidays are great, and I've discovered they're even more fun when you have kids. You'd have to be a pre-transformation Ebenezer Scrooge not to delight in your children's dreaming and diabolical scheming for holiday presents, their wicked Halloween costume sense, their fearful fondness of booming fireworks, and all their sweet infectious anticipation.
But parenthood has also taught me that there are other special days to savor, mainly markers of milestones that were completely hidden from my view as a childless man. These real-life holidays for parents should be celebrated as vigorously as a 21st birthday falling on New Year's Eve.
Diaper Independence Day: When junior finally learns to poop and pee in the toilet, your blood pressure and heart rate will reduce dramatically because you'll no longer have to tax your entire mind, will and essential life force trying to come up with reasonable-sounding excuses why you can't change him this time.
Seat Belt Click It Day: Doesn't sound like such a big deal does it? But you'll pop the sparkling cider or down the beverage of your choice when the youngsters finally learn to fasten their seat belts, relieving you of this bent-over, back breaking, time-stops-ticking burden.
Tie Their Own Shoes Day: Tying your kids' shoelaces is back-breaking work that always hits when you're trying to rush everyone out the door to meet an important appointment. And untangling the knots they weave is Gordian torture. This parental finger fumbling can go on for years because so many shoes are now secured with Velcro fasteners that today's children may not learn to tie their own shoelaces until the fifth grade or high school.
Safely Get Their Own Drinks Day: I used to celebrate "Get Their Own Drinks Day," but learned this was premature and added the word "safely" after wiping up scores of spills on the floor, inside the refrigerator, and over the utensils. Anyone out there remember the movie "The Graduate?" I just want to say one word to you. Just one word (well maybe three): Are you listening? Plastics... drinking cups.
Back to School Day: Warning: This is a half-day celebration. The sense of freedom, the daydreaming to accomplish all those set aside projects, the enticing visions to catch up with friends, grab a leisurely latte, perchance to nap, all come crashing down to earth as the young scholars burst back through the front door really early in the afternoon. "Hey dad, I think I left my photo day form on the playground."
Add Your Own: My wonderful kids are still young, so the years of puberty, dating, jobs, driving cars, university applications and all other later age horrors lay ahead of me and are not covered in this list. If any of you have other secret parental holidays you'd like to share, simply post them in the Comments section at the end of this column. It takes only a moment to sign up to leave your thoughts, and your thoughts may just be momentous to someone.
Follow Len Filppu on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MidlifeDad
You are far braver and more trusting than any of even the most grandiose imaginings I've ever had of myself. Maybe it's time for me to rethink the chains and locks and groundings planned for my children's future summers. Thank you for sharing this.
Love your comment. It makes your point emphatically. To everyone who has ever or will ever celebrate No More Formula Day... please raise your small (for little fingers), plastic, washable, non-breakable drinking glasses for a toast of unsweetened, organic apple juice!
-- Shirley remembers when her kids "started hanging out with friends on the weekend."
-- Jan liked "when her son got his license. He had my old VW... drove himself and his sister where they had to go after school. Driving home from work one day, I was going north they were going south on the same road.... we waved to each other. What a treat!!!"
-- Joyce says, "our secret holiday is now that the kids are sleeping in (read: hitting puberty) we go for long walks/jogs/chats on weekend mornings...and can still deliver warm bagels for breakfast!"
Thanks to all who are interacting on this issue. Keep those secret parental holidays coming in.
--Len
My friend Bermari identifies the "first day playing sports. The excitement of wearing the uniform for the first time, the first game- priceless. And if they happen to score... Off the charts!!! :)" So true, Bermari. I'm a loyal, vocal fan of my kids' sports teams... have been asked by referees to stop shouting basketball advice. Guilty... but no technical.
Friend Jennifer says: "There's also Kids Sleep In Their Own Bed Day." Our daughter would form the cross piece in the letter H between my wife and I. Head butts and kicks stopped when she learned to sleep in her own bed. Glad it's a memory you evoked, Jennifer.
My mother-in-law added her special day as "the time the children can wrap their own Christmas presents for parents, siblings." I'm still waiting for them to buy their own presents for others!
My friend Tiana includes "drop and go playdates and birthday parties, bathing/showering themselves." I agree... the parties can be as endless as the pain in the back from bathing them.
Thank you. Hope others will share their favorites here in this HuffPost Parents space.
--Len
I'm also looking forward to The Kids Doing Their Chores Without Having To Be Nagged Repeatedly Day-how long does it take them to realize that chores come before play, both in the dictionary and in real life? Also Picking Up Their Own Stuff Day...still waiting on that one. Mine are still at that leave-their-toys-all-over-the-place age, which I swear is going to give me a stroke before I'm 40. I've got nothing against the odd toy or two not in the box, but I absolutely draw the line at the house looking like Katrina hit it!