As Goes Halloween, So Goes Childhood

Forget all the guys in Bernie Madoff masks and tutus. If you want to see something really scary on Halloween, come to my apartment around 9 p.m.I'm letting my kids eat unwrapped candy.

They can eat any homemade goodies they get, too, and that unholy of unholies: candy where the wrapper is slightly torn. And on the very off chance they get an apple, they can gnaw it to the core, so long as there's not a razor-sized, dripping gash on the side.

Which always seemed like it would be a kind of give-away that something was amiss.

It's not that I'm cavalier about safety. I'm just a sucker -- so to speak -- for the facts. And the fact is: No child has been poisoned by a stranger's goodies on Halloween, ever, as far as we can determine. Joel Best, a sociology professor at the University of Delaware, studied November newspapers from 1958 to the present, scouring them for any accounts of kids felled by felonious candy. And...he didn't find any. He did find one account of a boy poisoned by a Pixie Stix his father gave him. Dad did it for the insurance money and, Best says, he probably figured that so many kids are poisoned on Halloween, no one would notice one more.

Well, they did and dad was executed. That's Texas for you. Another boy died after he got into his uncle's heroin stash and relatives tried to make it look like he'd been killed by candy. And that's it.

Now look at how the fear that our nice, normal-seeming neighbors might actually be moppet-murdering psychopaths has turned the one kiddie independence day of the year into yet another excuse to micromanage childhood.

It's not just the fact that churches and community centers are throwing parties so that kids don't go out on their own. It's not just the fact that Bobtown, Pennsylvania has gone so far as to "cancel" Halloween altogether -- for the sake of "safety." (The authorities there were surprised to find this decision unpopular.) It's not even that those of us who'd like to hand out homemade cookies know they'll be instantly tossed in the trash.

No, the truly spooky thing is that Halloween has become a riot of warnings that are way scarier than the holiday itself. The website Halloween-Safety.com recommends that if your child is carrying a fake butcher knife, make sure the tip is "smooth and flexible enough to not cause injury if fallen upon."

Excuse me? Has anyone ever seen a knife land blade-side up? And then fallen on it? Meantime, schools around the country are sending this note home to parents: "Please, no scary costumes." In England last year a man was ordered by his landlord to take down his lawn decorations because the zombies were too "realistic."

In other words: They looked too much like...real zombies?

Our fears are so overblown they'd be laughable if they didn't sound so much like the fears that are haunting us the rest of the year. Fears that have lead to parents to wait with their kids at the school bus stop, and keep them inside on sunny afternoons. Fears that make parents forbid their kids from skipping down the street to invite a friend out to play. That's the everyday version of Halloween fear: The fear that we cannot trust our children amongst our neighbors for one single second because, who knows, they might be pedophiles just waiting to pounce.

If you want to see what childhood is becoming, look how at what Halloween has already become: A parent-planned, climate-controlled, child-coddled, corporate-sponsored "event," where kids are considered too delicate to even survive the sight of a scary costume.

If you want to see what childhood is becoming, look how at what Halloween has already become: A parent-planned, climate-controlled, child-coddled, corporate-sponsored "event," You know. Like if someone came dressed as a slightly torn Snickers.

Skenazy is founder of freerangekids.com and author of "Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry."

 

 

Comments

[jaundicedview]

40 years ago my Mom was ahead of the curve , being fearful of the candy given us, poring over each milky way of roll of smarties, even following my brother and I as we went trick-or -treating , her Ford creeping along at little more than an Idle. Mom, it turns out, was Paranoid Schizophrenic.

Poor Mom dealt with her demons (figurative and imagined) and was able to have some peace in her life. But now, it seems, the rest of the world has gone paranoid. We are a fearful, fearful people.

[webweaver]

Here in Central Vermont, we just had a lovely, warm Halloween. Happy kids, friendly houses, nary a paranoid scare -- other than some of the costumes -- the whole night. It was great and I reveled in the wonderfulness of the whole event!

[ewwendt]

I remember when the razors/nails in the apples were the latest scare. I was a young kid and the teacher was demonstrating how a person might do it. I think I was more impressed of how a person would get the razor/nail into the apple and make it still look like a legit piece of fruit more so than the reality of biting into a razor-filled piece of food.

[emdubya]

Guess they didn't check the Canadian papers:

Toronto Police are warning parents to take a closer look at their child's Halloween treats after a North York family discovered a razor blade in a loot bag.

Police say the youth's parents discovered the razor just after 10 p.m. Saturday night while they were checking his treats. No one was injured.

The razor was discovered in the area of Leslie Street and Bannatyne Drive.

Similar incidents were also reported in Whitby, north of Toronto, and Nova Scotia.

On Saturday, an Annapolis County woman found told police she found a razor blade hidden within an apple that her child received.

Police there say they’ve seized the items and are investigating.

The Nova Scotia youngster had been trick-or-treating in Melvern Square in Annapolis County and in Kingston, located in Kings County.

In Whitby, a two-inch needle was found in a Tootsie Roll. The candy wrapper appeared to be tampered with and the parent found the needle.

Last Halloween, police in that region reported five instances of pills found inside Smarties boxes given out as trick-or-treating loot.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/toronto/parents-find-razor-blades-needle-in-halloween-loot/article1347150/

[jaundicedview]

But no reports of injury or poisoning, so the finger points back at paranoia, and/or attention seekers and the "Looky what I found" factor. Like the people around here in Texas who keep finding chupacabras that end up being mangy coyotes. The article sounds suspiciously like what Zombie Fairy posted.

[frozenporklander]

Yeah, but those are Canadians. We know all about them. I mean, what do you expect from those baby eatin' socialists?

And what the hell are "Smarties" anyway? Sounds like some kind of drug to me; probably a sedative that calms them while waiting in line for health care.

[lungfish]

When I was a kid in the 60s and early 70s Halloween was really fun and something to look forward to. My hometown of Great Falls, Montana would come alive with kids and costumes and it would go on into the night. We has all kinds of fun...

We had neighbors who made their own treats, we got tons of candy and a lot of community presence with everybody making sure they were home with candy and costumes. Entire blocks would be decked out.

Then came the paranoia and the weirdness and the inevitable corporate marketing co-opt of the holiday...

But Halloween isn't alone... all the other holidays were "commercialized'. I don't really recognize Christmas anymore, its become so cliche and lame. Just like other "lesser" holidays like Easter and the Fourth of July...More about propping up retail sales numbers and TV ratings than about a "holiday", an escape from the day-to-day...

And other things like the Olympics, a gathering of the worlds best amateur athletes... now co-opted into a corporate ad campaign with the boundaries of professional and amateur completely blurred...

Its about marketing and mass media and there is a special place in hell for those folks, I think...

[SusanStoHelit]

Halloween is still halloween - it's up to us if we buy marketing spin, and trick or treat at malls or go to parties, rather than maintaining the original spirit of Halloween.

I just went out with my daughter - it's still all there - decorated houses, meeting the neighbors, fun costumes, etc.

[Bleu frog]

I for one used to setup my house in a really scary way. I even built a working 8 ft tall guillotine and did decapitations with blood gushing, eyes poping out etc. I won local prizes, and sent kids screaming. A few parents would complain about the potential of nightmare for their snowflakes, but I'd politely tell them that Halloween was supposed to be scary, and that there was a smurf castle down the street. I had a blast, my 4 kids were really proud of my madness, and people would show up from other neighbourhoods to witness the insanity.

It was FUN. year after year complete strangers would come up to me in the weeks preceding halloween to inquire if I would again do an insane setup.

There were about 150 kids in the area, but we'd get as many as 750 kids at our door.

Keep it scary, keep it fun.

[Chris Philippo]

Regarding "the website Halloween-­Safety.com recommends that if your child is carrying a fake butcher knife, make sure the tip is 'smooth and flexible enough to not cause injury if fallen upon.'
Excuse me? Has anyone ever seen a knife land blade-side up? And then fallen on it?"

That's a silly criticism. I'd guess the worry is that somebody might fall while holding a knife, not that they'd drop the knife and then fall on it.

[scrocker1946]

TWO OF TWO

Another element which bears more explicitly on the issue of dangers to children, involves the real dangers to children - ones that are difficult to guard against. Modern life is full of dangers we see in our newspapers, or on the streets of our neighborhoods. We see young people beaten up or shot down by other young people. We see drug and/or alcohol abuse among teen peer groups. And we see various levels of physical, emothonal and sexual abuse - often by the very adults who are supposed to be these kids' protectors. All too often the people who are supposed to have your back are the ones you have to watch your back against. And, an issue which looms much too large to be seen clearly - the effect of the two income family on parenting. If you're not there, it's harder to care.

My point in listing the problems above is that they are complex and difficult to address. It's easier to treat them like the "Elephant in the living room". So then what? We are left with a malaise, the nameless dread that our kids are in danger. And it is nameless precisely because we as society have turned our back on any serious attempt to address it. So then what. We make up imitation problems. Aren't dangers of our own invention so much easier to take action against then the oh-do-messy real dangers? Apparently a lot of parents find them so.

-Steve

[scrocker1946]

COMMENT PART ONE OF TWO

As a childless old man of 62 I sit as a spectator to all this and wonder how the business of parenting ever became the domain of clinical paranoids. Part of the answer probably comes from the wave of suburbanization beginning in the 1950's and accelerated with the urban riots of the late sixties. This is where we begin, at least within the twentieth century, to see the rise of the "fear of the other" as a dominant social trend. In the fifties, white collar and college educated workers moved physically away from the blue-collar and less educated - those who (gasp) worked with their hands. Then in the wake of the ritos, there was a new wave of urban exodus based on fear of those of another race. My point here is that once you begin the process of regarding people different from yourself as symbold to fear - as radically "other" - rather than as people more or less like onself, then where does that path lead? We are seeing this emerge and I doubt we've seen the worst yet :(

[Pem3]

It was sad to see the halloween fun had left when my daughter came of age so even with my over super protective self I tried to bring it back. Between the watching for psychos and dressing like one we are trying to keep it real and scary fun again.

[El.Kabong]

Yeah, this is a tough one. Not so much Halloween, but the broader, every day picture.

I'm 'older', from the generation of "go out and be back before the street lights come on'. My daughter's 9 and is rarely more than 50 feet away from a family member.

I don't know that it was any safer back then. I don't know how bad it is right now in any specific area, including my own. What I do know that when it comes to my daughter (and her friends) there is no concept of 'acceptable loss'. I don't care what the statistics say or how much we're called 'crazy' and 'overprotective'. If there is one 'boogey(wo)man' left in the world and s/he wants my child, s/he is going to have to come through me. And I guarentee it ain't gonna be pretty.

So, maybe I'm reacting to overproduced fear. Personally, I can live with that. What I couldn't live with is loss through neglect.

All that said, it is kinda sad. We had a lot of fun before the street lights came on...

-ek

[MajorKong]

I'm starting to sound like an old person here -

When I was a kid it was "Go out and play. Dinner's at six."

I wasn't chauffeured around from one organized activity to the next.

[pennywhite]

THANK YOU!!!!
There are an endless number of ways to be a "Bad Mommy" these days, not the least of which is to allow your child some (gasp) independence.
I consider myself a free-range person and am trying to curb my paranoia enough to raise a free-range daughter. Due to the bombardment of horror stories about all the dangers lurking in food, air, water, video games, tv, packaging, and most of all, STRANGERS (you know, our fellow human beings), I expected my child to spontaneously combust by the time she reached the age of five.
Fear that arises from the gut is life-saving. Fear that arises from the head, produced by an isolative and fear-based culture, is life-draining. To paraphrase: the biggest thing kids have to fear is the fear-based mentality of their parents. Fear can be dangerous - it can undermine growth, freedom, and joy. And it can destroy a childhood.

[SonofLiberty1]

I disagree with the author, there have been some real problems.

And there are real monsters out there...child abductors and pedaphiles.

Sad to say, gone are the days of walking street to street and just collecting candy.
Now Mom or Dad..mostly Dad goes with many of the kids.

We make it a point to give out candy and have our Jack o lanterns lit up
Sometimes I even dress up myself....

Yes there are plenty of scary things out there...maybe if we all tried more to be a real community of neighbors all across our land , things might be a bit better.

[vertigo25]

You can "disagree with the author" all you want… but she's correct that no poisonings or candy tampering has *ever* happened on Halloween. If you know of something, I'd really like to see your evidence.

Also, child abductions don't go up during Halloween. Do you know why? The *vast* majority of child abductions and sexual assaults are carried out by people the child knows; frequently a family member. On average, about 100 children per year are abducted by strangers in the US. That's out of 60 million children. In almost every single case of abduction by stranger, the victim has been isolated… away from crowds and video monitoring. I don't know about your town or neighborhood, but mine is *teeming* with people of all ages on Halloween.

Everyone is, of course, allowed to search their children's candy, go with them up to the door, stay on their heels while they're out… or even just tell them they *can't* go trick-or-treating. But before you start teaching your children to be guided by their fears, consider the odds of those bad bad things happening compared with the odds of them becoming depressed: 1 in 4. You could also compare statistics of real problems like home injuries (have you looked at these… especially for the kitchen and bathroom? Seriously… your kids are *safer* playing by themselves out on the lawn than they are in many areas of your home).

So, sure… "disagree." But the facts disagree with you.

[JStading]

The "stranger danger" fear is unfounded as the vast majority of child abductions and molestations occur by the hand of a family member or a trusted adult. (1). In the US, about 800,000 children are reported at least temporarily missing every year, yet only 115 "become victims of what is viewed as classic stranger abductions. (2).

Parents generally do not need to go out with their kids on Halloween. My parents simply made sure that I went with a large group of friends. Not only did we never have any problems, but the independence of the night made the event all the more fun.

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stranger_danger
(2) http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8331335/

[SusanStoHelit]

Wrong. This has always been true - the 'razor in the apple' is pure urban legend - used by a few publicity seeking parents - but on investigation - it's always the parents.

There are real monsters out there - and abducting a child while everyone is on the streets and watching is too dumb even for them.

Nope. I saw plenty of groups of kids on their own, tons of trick or treaters, and the mom usually goes with the kids.

There are plenty of scary things - and they've always been there - now, we hear about the scary things from a few million people, rather than only from our own little towns - that's the only difference. Violent crime however, is down and has been for a long time.

[Kelly Salasin]

I appreciate the facts you share, Lenore--and the levity with which you share them.

When I relocated from New Jersey to Vermont, I was surprised to discover that folks here gave out baked goods. That was a huge "No-No" back home where we all worried about poisonings and razors.

It was a relief to put that obsession with fear behind me, and here's how we it now: http://thisvtlife.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/halloween-vermont-style/