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Lenore Skenazy

Lenore Skenazy

Posted: July 14, 2009 07:40 PM

Child Abduction: Take A Deep Breath

What's Your Reaction:

Sometimes, when I try to explain how frenzied we have become about the real but extremely rare crime of childhood abduction, or of rampant pedophilia in general, I compare our era to 1692 Salem. There was no way, back then, back there, to convince the average person: Don't you see you're being swept up on a wave of mass hysteria? History will judge you as totally mad on the subject of witches! (Though eventually, I suppose, that'll be great for tourism)

Folks in and around Salem were convinced that witches were everywhere, casting spells, working evil magic. In the end, 150 people were tried as witches and 19 hanged, all for - we can see with the perspective of time - no reason.

Now, I'm not saying that there are absolutely no evil folks in the world today who wish harm upon children. But to imagine them everywhere, ever ready to snatch children, is to see the world through Salem eyes. Eyes blinded by hysteria. And yet, look at this article from the Times of London.

"One quarter of the adult population will require criminal records checks under the new child protection system coming into force next year, according to a report criticising the scheme."

That's right: ONE QUARTER OF ALL ADULTS IN ENGLAND will be forced to undergo background checks to see if they have ever been convicted of pedophilia. The basic assumption being that ANYONE WHO HAS ANY CONTACT WITH CHILDREN SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A PEDOPHILE UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE.

Frank Furedi, author of Paranoid Parenting -- a book that very much influenced me - says that a system like this actually makes children LESS safe because, as the Times paraphrases him, "Far from enhancing the safety of children, the child protection system, which relies solely on the criminal records checks, places them in more danger because no-one uses their own judgement any more." (Not to mention the fact that a background check only uncovers previous convictions. So it's not even good at what it purports to do: Weed out every last pervert.)

Moreover, a law like that makes adults far less eager to volunteer for schools, scout troops, or any activity with kids involved, because they have to undergo (and pay for) the background check first. Worse, in a suspicious climate like that - not unlike our own - adults grow wary of any involvement with kids who aren't theirs. Furedi cites the tragic story of a two-year-old who wandered away from her nursery. A man driving by noticed her on the street but (as he later testified at an inquest) he didn't stop to help for fear he'd be accused of trying to abduct her.

When we get to the point in society where basic adult concern for children could well be mistaken for evil - when a man thinks twice about helping a child because he knows he could find himself on trial - we're back in Salem, 1692. The next "witch" could be you, comforting the kid who fell off her swing, volunteering for the school dance without a background check. Or, of course, letting your children go "Free-Range," and being accused of depraved indifference to all the black magic swirling around them.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LoveLifeLightLaughter
03:12 PM on 07/16/2009
I raised my first child through the late 80's-early 90's amidst the "Stranger Danger" garbage that pervaded our culture at the time, which resulted from a rash of highly-publicized child abduction and molestation cases. As other commenters here have mentioned, seemingly overnight we went from a culture of mutual parenting to one of fearing our neighbor. I did everything I could to work around this in raising my children, including teaching them proper manners when meeting someone new for the first time (instead of running away screaming "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!" if some old man asked for directions to the nearest bus stop). Caution is all for the good; irrational fear and paranoia is destructive to our national soul.

Any time anyone is involved in a crime, especially one as heart-rending as child molestation, abduction, or murder, has a hard time finding a balance here. If you are the victim or family of a victim, it is easy to fall into the trap of letting fear rule you. Once raped, you avoid parking garages, never go on dates alone (if ever), and you carry mace everywhere you go. Once you have a child molested, you lock them away from the world and try to protect them from all harm. These are over-reactions, though perfectly understandable. But what will be the fallout when these collective fears become so rooted that we are taught from birth to be afraid, very afraid, of everyone and everything around us?
12:31 AM on 07/16/2009
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.! The irrational fear that has been bred in this society has turned childhood from a beautiful time of innocence & exploration to a sterilized, structured and monitored experience. I get so sad when I see how isolated kids have become. They aren't allowed to roam their neighborhoods playing hide and seek or manhunt. Now, parents arrange playdates...PLAY-DATES.....no wonder we have generations of youth who aspire to dependence. If this is your thing, I suggest reading The Culture of Fear: Why Americans Are Afraid of the Wrong Things
01:04 AM on 07/15/2009
Just goes to show that our own ignorance, fear, and paranoia have finally caught up. Not only do we choose to ignorantly see the worst in people, but now so is our own government. It's just so sad that even actions done with good will can be considered grounds for suspicion of evil. I also read about the man who was sued for trying to save someone who was trying to commit suicide, now that's just wrong. Our laws are no longer making any sense, and is basically now trying to ban us from acting like moral human beings.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tc2598
11:03 PM on 07/14/2009
I adopted two daughters and had to go through a criminal background check.

Was absolutely no big deal at all. I remember thinking, I'm glad they run criminal background checks on people adopting little girls.


You said: The basic assumption being that ANYONE WHO HAS ANY CONTACT WITH CHILDREN SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A PEDOPHILE UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE.

I don't think it's that sinister. I mean, it's really common sense - the systems exist now such that we can accurately check for people with this sort of thing on their record. If your daycare center/school/swimming pool/athletic club/whatever hired a guy who'd been convicted of child molestation, you'd be pretty angry when you found out about it.

I don't see anything in the article saying that London will require people to pay for it - I certainly didn't have to pay for mine.
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09:23 PM on 07/14/2009
I think back to my childhood, when random adults pushed my hair out of my eyes, straightened my clothing after I played, gave me hugs, wiped my face for me. In those days all adults were care-givers - teachers, librarians, my friends' parents. Now I'm sure they all think twice before dispensing ordinary, nurturing affection to children who are not their own - and even, sadly, to their own.
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Scott Mendelson
Film critic/pundit for Mendelson's Memos, Valley S
08:19 PM on 07/14/2009
This is 'wish I wrote it' good. As a father of a nearly two-year old daughter, I often wonder at what age she will be when I have to start watching how affectionate I am with her in public. 13? 10? Even as early as 8? I've heard horror stories. Our zeal to protect children has rendered the act of actually caring for and about children a very dangerous and risky endeavor indeed.