If there's a silver lining to this recession, it may be that Americans are less willing to buy tons of expensive crap for each other during the holidays.
As we all know, consumers are massively scaling back on holiday shopping this year. This is bad news for retailers, but presents an opportunity for us to evaluate what we give and spend each year, and why.
One recent survey showed that, in 2008, people are not only setting price limits and gifting to fewer people, but even opting for homemade crafts, such as photo collages, over purchased presents.
I applaud this trend; I've long advocated in this column for the return of fanciful, meaningful gift-giving (for example, see my recent post on traditional anniversary gifts).
A recent high-end jewelry ad mused that: "We have so many possessions, but so little treasure." Of course, the idea there was to sell more diamonds, but what follows here is a suggested gift list of another kind of treasure: emotional, recession-proof, and heirloom-minded treasure that will mean something for generations to come.
I look forward to your further suggestions in the comments section, and happy holidays each of you.
****
1. Favorite childhood books. Find out what your husband's/wife's/sister's/etc favorite bedtime tales were ... then go on Bibliofind.com and scout out the edition that he or she might have read as a kid. I have found wonderful old copies of everything from Ferdinand to Harriet the Spy for as little as 1 cent - no joke.
Or, for your children, give them your favorite childhood stories; no fiction ages as well as children's literature. I have a set of my father's Winnie-the-Pooh books from when he was four, with his penciled name scrawled in each, and I adore them.
2. Take your spouse/family/boyfriend on a winter picnic someplace meaningful to you, or just somewhere damn lovely. Bundle up, take a thermos of hot chocolate - with marshmallows; if you live in New York City, head to Central Park's ice skating pond or Strawberry fields. Wear bright colors and take your camera. The photos and memories that come from this outing will mean more than any pilly sweater from the Gap.
3. Speaking of photos, have old family photos restored and treated. Dig up evocative pictures of your dad in uniform; of your grandparents at their wedding; of your mother in her baby carriage, wearing a bonnet. Frame them beautifully or put them in an old-fashioned black-paged album (with black photo corners), and hand them over.
4. If a gift is supposed to tell someone that you care about them, why not write them a letter and tell them yourself? Buy some beautiful stationery and recount your most hilarious, dreadfully-behaved moments with your best friend; remember on paper your saucy courtship or first Christmas with your wife. Everyone should have a treasured letter to hide away and re-read over the years.

5. Have a portrait painted of your wife, children, or girlfriend. Nothing elaborate, just a lovely likeness. I recently met a divine painter named William Donovan (dukedonovan@earthlink.net), who paints quick, lovely watercolor portraits, such as the one above, for attendees of Vogue events in New York ... many local artists or caricaturists will also do this very inexpensively for you. Framed nicely, they make stunning, chic heirlooms.
6. So many clothing trends these days are seriously recycled from previous eras. Take, for example, the recent trend of colored suede or leather elbow gloves (which I LOVE). In department stores, they will set you back $300. Why not go on EBay, where I recently found a mint-condition pair of emerald green kid-suede vintage evening gloves for $20? I'll be damned if you can tell the old ones from the new. Also, Exquisite Costume in NYC has a, well, exquisite collection from which to chose:
www.exquisitecostume.com

7. If you're giving a gift to an Obama junkie, why not frame one of those ubiquitous, famous Obama "Hope" posters? Like all political memorabilia from seminal elections, it will be quite valuable someday. Think about how cool it would be to own a Kennedy one - or one from either of the Roosevelts! Again: a great eventual-heirloom.
8. For little girls, I like the idea of a Laura Ingalls-style Christmas stocking. I used to absolutely covet Laura's stocking contents, when she opens it on Chirstmas morning in Little House in the Big Woods. If I remember right, it was filled with a rag doll, peppermint candy, tangerines, and a shiny penny in the toe. I'm not sure that all girls would appreciate the quaintness of this suggestion ... but any Little House fans certainly will!
9. This is terribly nerdy of me, but sign them up for a daily email from Dictionary.com. I am addicted to words, and the ones that arrive each day in my inbox are like visits from different, fascinating characters. The editors there have humor and style ... after all, they introduced me to bonton:
bon ton (bn tn) n.
1.
a. A sophisticated manner or style.
b. The proper thing to do.
2. High society.
Does it get any better?
10. Make an agreement about how much you would have spent this year on gifts, and then give that money instead to a mutually agreed-upon charity. No matter how much we're hurting, there's always someone else in worse shape. Not to sound like Charlie Brown, but that's the real spirit of the holidays.
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A favorite childhood book. THAT is a wonderful idea. Thanks.
See Jill Keto's Profile
I love this post; well done. The most beautiful things in life are indeed human connection and memories, not "stuff" anyway. I discuss this theme in my book, "Don't Get Caught With Your Skirt Down: A Practical Girl's Recession Guide". This recession is actually providing people with the opportunity to discover new ways to give gifts and re-discover thoughtfulness. The problem is, most of us have been brainwashed by the pilly Gap sweater, and need to be reminded that there are other options. Thank you for providing some!
Lesley, great ideas all, as usual! I especially love buying gifts from ebay (or antiques stores) as that has the added advantage of recycling. (Thanks very much for the exquisitecostume site!)
This year one gift for a family member who loves wolves is a wolf "adoption" from an environmental group working to stop the killing of these magnificent creatures.
My husband and I will forego exchanging this year and instead contribute our favorite animal charities. With the heartbreaking foreclosures so many people have had to give up their pets causing overflowing pounds and shelters.
I wish everyone a lovely holiday season and a brighter 2009.
See Lesley M. M. Blume's Profile
Always a delight to hear from you, QueenCeleste!
Why thank you, Lesley! Hope you have a lovely (and stylish, naturally!) holiday. I look forward to your pieces in the new year.
I want to second:
1) Anciano's comment about craft fairs; I got my daughter-in-law a pearl bracelet for her birthday for only $20. She adored it.
2) Lesley Blume's recommendation of donations to charity in your friends' names. Several friends have told me that my donation to Heifer International in their names was the best gift they'd ever received.
This year, my sister is getting a few jars of Better Than Bouillon, which is readily available in my local supermarket and totally un-heard-of where she lives. It's a great product - unlike other bouillon/soup concentrates, the first ingredient on the label is MEAT. (For your vegetarian friends, it's also available in Vegetable, Mushroom and vegan meat-like versions.) It's about $5 a jar; amazon.com charges closer to $6. They don't seem to have their own website any more, for some reason; just google the brand name.
Another gift - one *I* would gratefully receive any time - is a selection of Indian relishes and chutneys from your local Indian grocery, where they will be cheaper and more varied than in an "American" supermarket. My daughter has standing orders to pick some up when she goes to visit friends in the nearest civilized town.
Rather than Dictionary.com - or in addition to it - how about A.Word.A.Day from worsdmith.org? Great words, presented with weekly themes, and every day, the added treat of a very interesting, thought-provoking quote.
freerice is very cool, too. Kind of mesmerizing.
I enjoyed the article very much. It lists the kind of thing that our family has done for years. Donations, help around the house and garden, personalized artworks, favorite old books, etc.
I'm a massage therapist and if I can survive this holiday with my overbearing family, I am going to give them each free 50-minute long massages. It may perhaps build some peace within the family. I doubt that it will really make any difference, but at least these people will be allieved of some stress... although I won't be receiving a massage, so maybe it won't help me in the long run.
Why not give the people you love, the gift of time
this year. And maybe a donation of food for a local
no-kill animal rescue, a gift of time serving Christmas
dinner to the homeless, a couple of boxes of groceries
to a food bank, or buy gifts for a "Giving Tree". These
good feelings last all year.
Nice article. Very thoughtful. Thanks!
I'm making the Greek Spinach pie for my SIL. And buying stuffed grape leaves.
My oldest granddaughter is getting really cool tops that I found at a garage sale.
My oldest daughter is getting an antique brooch of mine framed.
My youngest daughter is getting a fantastic Christmas bag that I found at the same yard sale where I found the clothes.
My 5 year old granddaughter is getting ankle bracelets that I made.
My 3 year old grandson loves balls of all sizes and he is getting a large sack of those.
My other SIL is getting nothing.
My mother once put together a set of coins from the birth year of each of her six kids. They were assembled in a frame for each of us with a picture of us as a baby. That is something that gets harder to do and more valuable as the kids get older, as the coins from each year get scarcer. Who knows what might happen with our currency and coinage, given the state of the world economy, and a set from current times might be real collector's items some day. And if your kids are relatively young, it would probably only cost $1.91 if dollar and half-dollar coins are included, plus the frame and a print of a photo. In a couple of cases, my mom had to go to a coin shop to get the ones she needed, but I don't think they were very expensive. And it's a cool, personalized gift if you like that kind of stuff.
Another thing she did was put together a photo album from birth to adulthood for each of us, with pictures of course, and also stuff like report cards that she had saved, papers we had written in elementary school, awards over the years, etc. It was pretty cool.
My Great-grandfather did this for me when I was born, and mounted the coins in a piece of wood he routed and shaped. It's lovely and 30 years later I am fondly remembering him. :)
Thanks Lesley--- I like these ideas! Good stuff here. I will probably bake a few cookies for friends this season, but with working full time, I don't have as much time to do crafts as I would like.
Towards that end, I offer a few more holiday tips for shopping in a cheap & cheerful way:
http://therecessionista.blogspot.com/2008/11/recessionistas-holiday-pick-list-taking.html
PS--love your tip about restoring photos, that is great one. Portrait painiting is a bit more pricey & out of my reach today!
Although it's a little late to start this kind of project now, it's not impossible if you're crafty or have some help.
we will be collecting family clothing memoribilia - shirts from schools, vacations & projects, dad's ancient ratty robe (getting replaced this year), child's blanket, etc. They will be recycled into quilts for the three families.
You can do this for a college bound senior, empty-nesters who are down-sizing, or any time you find yourself wanting to clean out the closets, but unable to part with precious treasures. It only requires simple sewing skills to creat a 'tied' quilt, or a with a little looking, you can probably find a local seamstress / quilter who does piecework.
Thanks for the great article & thoughtful suggestions.
Re: suggestion to sign up family and friends to dictionary.com -- I highly recommend visiting www.freerice.com daily if you love words. The site allows you to not only test and expand your vocabulary, but also help feed the hungry at the same time. You get two benefits from one site -- helping yourself and others all in one shot.
I also highly recommend introducing all dog lovers -- kids and grownups -- to www.freekibble.com. The site has a fun dog related trivia question which is updated daily and regardless of your answer being right or wrong, you will be donating free kibble to animal shelters just by playing the trivia.
Introducing friends and families to those two websites during the holidays will enrich their lives and those of other humans and animals on a daily basis for years to come!
www.freerice.com
www.freekibble.com
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
Sweet article. Ties in nicely with our economic retribution: We have taken a vow not to spend one cent on anything we don't have to buy at retail such as food or gas until the Obama administration is sworn in. Bush"s rebates that added $1200 to our tax liability and his pleas to go shopping show the importance of consumer spending to the legacy of Republican economics. Bush hijacked the country for the benefit of the wealthy for eight years. Let the wealthy keep the Bush consumer economy going for the next six weeks until the Republicans are flushed in disgrace. Learn about and patronize your smaller locally owned businesses and pay cash so it's under the radar of statistics. We're hoarding all our discretionary retail spending until the Obama Administration when the recovery can begin.
What about Christmas? Elegant baskets of organic food. Craft fairs are good places to buy locals" handmade goods. Pay cash. The old adage, "If you can't write it off, why write it up?" is appropriate. People are desperate and buying things used on Craigslist helps them out with cash, saves you money, helps the environment and as a bonus, helps bury the GOP's legacy. An "unexpected jump in February retail sales" will be a nice White House-warming present for Obama.
I shall gift Dictionary.com to myself.
Check out www.freerice.com as well if you are a vocabulary buff.
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