It's been a while, but Let's Bring Back is back.
The fourth of my LBB series, what follows is a celebration of rituals and objects from times past.
(And it's also an homage to Vogue legend Diana Vreeland's Why Don't You? Columns ... but that's neither here nor there).
1. Telegrams. A great friend of mine has quite an impressive collection of telegrams from Cole Porter. These divine missives become chic historical collages.
Plus, upon arrival, telegrams are practically synonymous with anticipation, adventure, and mystery ... and who among us couldn't use more of these things in our lives?
2. Hot toddies. The real cure for the common cold, and therefore a reasonable excuse to stay drunk all winter long. Plus, I just like ordering them. Saying "hot toddy" proves to be an endlessly amusing pastime.
3. Curves on runways. The models at New York Fashion Week looked like they'd split a single head of cabbage among all of them and lived on it for a month. Power curves are gorgeous. I just re-watched 1990s fashion documentary Unzipped last week, and Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, and their ilk looked hot. Like women you'd want to sink your teeth into. Totally unlike those gristly scraps of chicken bone dragging themselves down the runways these days.
Real women have curves. (From fashionfilm.com)
4. Poetry. If you say it never went out of style, I say that you're living in denial.
To get all of you in a receptive mood for the Return of Verse, I offer up this witty ditty from Dorothy Parker:
If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten.
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such.
I'll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am.
Because I do not give a damn.
5. Live-in butlers. Because in modern times, they replaced oracles as the source of all wisdom and gravitas. And they also look very nice carrying mirrored trays laden with gin cocktails.
6. Subversive pamphlets. Printed up in bright colors, so no one misses them scattered about in the streets and subways. Plus: they are a nice alternative to a boring old blog, easier than getting agented, and cheaper than self-publishing a book.
Marie Antoinette, up to no good yet again! (From pbs.org)
7. Phone calls. If I get one more text message, instant message, Facebook message, or MySpace message, I am going to have an electronica bonfire. Whatever happened to picking up the phone to make plans, or simply check in? These days, it's almost more shocking to get a social call than to receive a letter in the mail.
8. Anthony Michael Hall. Well, maybe just AMH from that one scene in Sixteen Candles when he's mixing martinis for Jake and ruminating on the inner workings of the female mind.
I have long lobbied for an honorary Oscar to be bestowed on him for this performance, and I shall continue to do so until I die.
"Any halfway decent girl can rob me blind! Because I'm too torqued up to say no." (From videodetective.com)
9. The Canterbury Tales. How overeducated perverts amused themselves before the Coen brothers came onto the scene. I'm partial to "The Pardoner's Tale" myself.
10. The word "dough" for money. Using this word will garner you lots of retro-street cred.
11. Those tiny colored marshmallows in hot cocoa.
12. Bette Davis. Who, in my opinion, deserves a higher stature than that pill Greta Garbo or that grating Katherine Hepburn.
Special thanks to Amanda Miller and Caitlin Crounse.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.