Presenting: the latest installment of my Let's Bring Back series, which celebrates rituals, curiosities, and objects from times past.
It is also a quiet homage to Vogue legend Diana Vreeland's famous Why Don't You? columns.
Without further ado, Let's Bring Back ...
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1. Charm school. Because 'charm' is such a foreign concept to the vast majority of Americans these days.
2. The Greek and Roman Gods. They were just so deliciously naughty and entertaining. When was the last time you could say that about Jesus Christ?
3. Tea time. Such a civilized alternative to a late-afternoon Starbucks run.
4. Card games on trains. My grandfather used to take the train between Manhattan and Larchmont every day. He and his card rivals wore fedoras and smoked and played vicious rounds of pinochle. A tad more atmospheric than the fluorescent New Haven line today (although it is still a lovely experience every time you emerge into Grand Central station ... and eating oysters there is always a delectable treat).
5. Gas-lit street lamps. Their light makes women look especially beautiful, and men appear more chiseled and romantic than ever. So very Robert Doisneau.
6. Punctuality. The advent of the cellphone/text message/Blackberry has rendered socially-acceptable the act of being perpetually ten-minutes-late. This entry is also an act of self-admonishment; I am guilty as hell of this offense.
7. Traveling trunks. Which look so impossibly glamorous when piled on a dock or a train platform - and they make wonderful pieces of furniture at home, pearls and lingerie trailing from open cloth drawers and such.
8. Un-earnest, sinister fairy tales for children. The Germans were masters at whipping up nasty, dark little stories. Children hate being condescended to, and Disney starts to taste saccharine even to the youngest of palates. A little gore and creativity goes a long way.
9. Simon Sez. It's just such a pleasing objet d'art.
10. Hourglass figures. Last week I beheld Dita von Teese slinking along in a waist-cinching crystal gown; splashing about in an oversized champagne glass; strutting up and down the stage, trailing feathers. Five minutes of her dramatic contours rendered distasteful the androgynous, emaciated figure demanded by contemporary women's fashion. Dare I say it: might we even want the corset back? Stripped of its political connotations and reintroduced in the spirit of a dangerously sensual silhouette?
11. Dumbwaiters. Truly the stuff of creaking whimsy. Wonderful places to hide from irritating relatives. Equally cunning perches from which to spy on various unsuspecting members of the household: much chicer than a nanny-cam.
12. Camera film. The trip to pick up prints from a roll of film - not knowing what you're going to get - was always filled with the most wonderful sort of anticipation.
13. Newspapers. Not gone yet ... but soon, soon.
14. Statement hats at weddings. We have too few occasions in America to wear hats, which are the most splendid mood-elevators. We're not particularly good with fanciful accessories, but weddings are joyous events and wedding hats are always exuberant. Philip Treacy makes the most memorable, whimsical ones in the world.
15. Mystery. Marlene Dietrich once wrote that elegance was "rarely found today ... women are not brought up to know about it and therefore lack even the desire to acquire it." I would say that this is doubly true of mystery.
Countless books and articles have been written in recent years, pondering the glamour of yesteryear's Hollywood stars. I argue that mystery is what set them apart and the lack of mystery desired by today's stars and bare-all bloggerettes may just doom female glamour to the ashbin of history.
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Please keep them coming!
As for corsets, they do not have to be torturous, as in the models of yesteryear. Dita von Teese is adorable and proof that one does not have to be crude or obvious to be sensuous. I will add tap pants to the list, the variety that come to the waistline and button up the side, usually of silk or satin. As a teen I used to sew my own.
Please keep these coming Lesley!
And some folks are discovering vinyl all over again with manufacters turning out new records and bringing back the turntable.
Oh and Windows, Vista is so crappy.
We have devolved to leaving voice messages, dashing off e-mails, or (worse) the transient IM. All methods designed to be fast and cheap.
But is that the message you want to send to the recipient: Fast and cheap?
Sure, it is great for business communication and a degree of quick, casual back and forth, but ...
Years ago, when thoughts were put to durable medium; I believe more care, attention, and thought tended to go into our missives. They were longer and deeper. Receiving a letter was a big deal and much anticipated. A person was naturally grateful to have received a true letter, perhaps knowing the time and energy that went into crafting it and accepting this as an indication of the esteem in which the writer held one. Some letters, from particularly articulate and/or witty writers, could be considered works of Literature!
But today?
Even the best e-mail tends to be dashed off. How many people bother to "edit" their messages before sending? A few Luddites such as me might, but it is obvious that most don't bother. And IMs? People can't even be bothered to spell out entire words! I suppose the abbreviations are cute, in their way, but, I submit, the practice is still telling.
Communication *has* become quick and effortless ... and in doing so, has lost much of its impact.
Bring back some of the old ways.
I love my corsets. Not only are they sleek and firming under the skintight clothes I need to NOT look pregnant or dumpy, they are fabulous back support. I can't speak for all women, but old-fashioned lingerie (I've worn stockings and suspenders since junior high) make me feel incredibly womanly and sexy. Just the act of getting dressed gives me a nice emotional high.
"Dare I say it: might we even want the corset back? Stripped of its political connotations and reintroduced in the spirit of a dangerously sensual silhouette"
Holy crap--the corset is an instrument of female torture that belongs in Gitmo.
And how on earth can the corset be "stripped of it's politcal connotations"? Perhaps in the post-patriarchy--but we're a long way from there. IN fact, we've gone backwards in many ways, facial surgeries and even VAGINAL surgeries (ewww and ouch) amount to self mutilation in an attempt to recreate an unattainable standard and a "dangerously sensual" body.
It certainly can't ever be stripped of it's medical connotations--an unneccessary and potentially dangerous homage to fetishizing women's bodies.
Shall we bring back foot-binding next?
PASS ON THAT IDEA.