How To Live On $0 A Day: Sample The Good Life

Just because you have no cash or valid credit card doesn't condemn you to a steady diet of ramen and potatoes. You can still indulge your taste for organic produce, ethically raised meat and fish, artisanal bread, cheese and chocolate.

No, I'm not advocating dining and dashing (except on special occasions). Nor am I suggesting we return to the old ways of hunting and foraging for sustenance (a practice often referred to as "stealing" these days). This may seem counter-intuitive, but poor people in the know go to Whole Foods. Not to shop, mind you. They make a meal of the lavish, liberally placed samples.

Sure, there are other places that offer free samples, I've tried them all. Costco's may be varied and tasty, but they're mass produced and of questionable origin. Worse, the security guards at the door make takeout impossible. Farmers markets are seasonal, limited to once a week, and hard to get enough for a full meal. Trader Joes' disappoints with limited choices and erratic service and quality --one day the mushroom risotto is ready in its little cup, steaming and perfectly al dente; the next, you have to wait five minutes for a mediocre, lukewarm chicken biriyani.

For quality and convenience, nothing beats Whole Foods. It's got everything from meat to fish to fruit to cheese and even vegan offerings. It's like the antipasto course at Trattoria della Arte in NYC without the ambiance and service. On Saturdays, they even give out cosmetic and beauty samples, so it's like getting a goodie bag with your meal.

Start at what I call the cocktail and hors d'oeuvres section, which is right past the cash registers. Savor a berry/green tea drink and nibble on salmon salad on crackers while exchanging warm banter with the lady passing out the samples. When sipping from the tiny paper cup, I try to maintain an air of elegance by keeping my pinkie finger extended.

The menu changes often, so it's always good to peruse the offerings before making a choice. You can't go wrong with the assiette du fromage (a sumptuous array of brie, chevre, cheddar, fruit and cheese doodles) available daily. I recommend stopping by the prepared food counter and asking for samples of the broccoli, coleslaw and grilled veggies, especially on days when spinach dip just isn't going to cut it in the roughage department. Last time I was there, the dessert offerings included broken cookies, cups of pie and pieces of chocolate Easter egg, all worth the extra calories.

Whole Foods is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dress is casual, but shirts and shoes are required. You can dine in, but takeout is also available if you remember to line your pockets with plastic bags or get paper plates from the salad bar. Bon appetit!

Comments

[ResoluteBob]

I cannot support this kind of thing. It seems uppity and snooty--like something a French person would do. As a real American, I can tell you that we need ALOT of food, not just crappy little samples. And where can you find alot of food for no money? The garbage, of course. If people would just get over their fear of a little dirt (brush it off), bite marks (cut around them!), or a little green mold (pick it out with a fork), they could eat real well. And though I don't care much about it personally, doesn't my plan work with this whole "being Green" thing? Didn't your mama tell you "Waste not, want not"?
One more thing. Dick Cheney is a YSSUP. His daughter too. You know what I'm talking about.

[flyingmonkey]

No, my mama told me to think about the starving children in China, and although misery loves company,that doesn't help me right now.

[keemia]

If food was the only problem with poverty...

[nickyt]

Do you know of any liquor stores that give out free samples?

[dildeaux]

They call 'em wine tastings.

[nickyt]

Wine makes me sleepy. A martini tasting is more my speed.

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

As Dildeaux mentioned, there are wine tastings. But getting samples of hard liquor isn't so easy. Liquor stores are so stingy!!! I read about a free manicure and martini event for women of childbearing age held by the National Fertility Association in SF, Chicago and Denver (your tax dollars at work). Some bars have ladies nights where women of childbearing age drink free. If you're a man, or a woman over 50, you'll have to settle for mouthwash samples. Pretend it's Jagermeister.

[classicalgeek]

I have managed a liquor store and yes, they do give out free samples. Your best bet is to make friends with a manufacturer's representative, who will then tell you when they launch a new product line and therefore provide free tastings. Heublein is a big enough manufacturer that they are continously testing out new products. The season for tasting peaks sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, usually.

Be warned that most places will limit you to a half-ounce or quarter-ounce sized sample. Don't try to get around it unless you really want to take on the ATF.

[nickyt]

That's awesome. Where can I get a list of the manufacturers reps in my region (the Pacific Northwest)?

[1logicalthinker]

Plenty of them, but you need a gun :)

[flyingmonkey]

I had some lovely blueberry samples at Whole Foods today. Thanks for the tip.

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

You're welcome. I'm a little worried you're being too timid with the samples. Blueberries are a good start because they're rich in fiber and antioxidants. But next time, try some grain and dairy samples as well. Maybe even a slice of beef jerky. It's important to maintain a balanced diet.

[PatA]

I love you! Funny and practical.

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you. I love you too!

[petralesole]

I think it's admirable that Whole Foods is giving back.
The overpriced place that I used to shop at when I had money (Eli's Vinegar Factory) is so stingy with the samples, it makes me sick. After all the money I dumped into that rip off joint, the least they could do is step up when it counts. Who do they think they are, Citibank?

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

I used to shop at that place when I lived in New York and had money. It used to make me so mad knowing I was paying $3.99 for a can of beans I could get at the health food store across the street for $1.99. But then I'd throw a $7.00 bag of Twizzlers in my shopping cart and pay the cashier. I wonder if the owner is related to Bernie Madoff.

[pbnguru]

This is a great suggestion for that icebreaker first date (by the iceberg lettuce, even) - one certainly doesn't want to set up expectations with a possible love interest by taking them to Taco Bell - Waaaaaay too expensive. Even with their dollar menu.

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

Very shrewd dating strategy... Save the high ticket dinners like the Taco Bell dollar meal for the third date, when it really counts.