How To Live On $0 A Day: Stylish Alternatives To Living On The Street

Just because you're totally broke doesn't mean you have to abandon the dream of living somewhere spacious, beautiful, architecturally important and very expensive. I'm talking about living under a bridge.

The right bridge can provide excellent shelter as well as reflect your taste and status. And unlike your current housing set up, a good bridge comes with access to free running water, weekly janitorial service and maintenance, not to mention public transportation virtually right outside your front door. The ubiquitous tollbooths make living under a bridge the closest thing to a gated community you can get for $0/month.

Here are some examples of what's available around the country:

New York City: Pre-war classic

This 3460 foot granite and steel suspension bridge offers spectacular views of Manhattan and Brooklyn, easy access to the arts, fine scavenging, upscale shoplifting as well as some very nice parks and public spaces. Built in 1883 for 18 million dollars (which was nothing to sneeze at back then), the original details are still intact, a little TLC will make it sparkle. Perfect location for Wall Streeters.

Florida: Post modern masterpiece

29,040 feet of steel and concrete, the Sunshine Skyway bridge is for those who like their clean spacious design with a little edge. Completed in 1987, this beauty offers classic suspension construction coupled with dramatic details and views of Ft. Lauderdale and Bradenburg. With several golf courses nearby, year around sunshine and easy access to decent healthcare in the Caribbean and Mexico, this is an excellent place to retire.

Northern California: Views, views, views
No matter where you're standing on this 8981 foot icon of steel and concrete, you'll have a spectacular view (except when the fog rolls in). Designed by Robert Straus in 1937, the Golden Gate bridge is now one of the most coveted pieces of real estate in America. Residents enjoy nature in the nearby Marin County public spaces as well as partake in the lavishly filled dumpsters in the city.

Chesapeake Bay: $200 million marvel of engineering.

The Chesapeake Bay bridge is the bridge equivalent of the Neverland ranch. A massive 89760 feet of steel and concrete, it dips over and under open waters with a complex chain of artificial islands, tunnels and bridges. This 200 million dollar futuristic wonder spans four separate states, convenient for anyone anticipating trouble with the local authorities.

Minnesota: Charming 19th century fixer upper

If you prefer rustic charm to grandeur and don't mind cold winters, this could be the bridge for you. The Archstone Bridge in Minneapolis consists of 2176 feet of native granite and limestone. Converted from a railroad bridge in 1965, 26 well-placed arches add character and warmth. As a pedestrian bridge and historic landmark, it's a great place to panhandle --just think, no more commuting!

A guide to world bridges for impoverished expats is coming soon. Suggestions and recommendations are always appreciated.

Comments

[ADWolpert]

Funny!

[Gail Mackenzie-Smith]

Dr. Lesley - I'm currently in the market for a bridge in Los Angeles but we don't seem to have any - just overpasses on the freeway and the LA river. Obviously, relocation is out of the question. What can we Angelenos do in this situation?

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

I recommend the Vincent Thomas bridge, spanning the Port of Los Angeles. Granted, it may not be the best neighborhood in the world. But this 6500 feet of LA chic has solar panels, great natural sunlight and is the best bridge option in your area. And who knows, you might wind up having such luminaries as MC Hammer, Gary Colman and Danny Bonaduce as neighbors. Rumor has it, LIndsay Lohan may be moving in soon as well.

[Gail Mackenzie-Smith]

Oh, God! There goes the neighborhood!

[PatA]

I hope that your comments weren't meant to be funny. Felt disrespectful to people who don't have a home.

[Gail Mackenzie-Smith]

PatA - are you sure you're in the right section? this is the comedy page. you know, irony etc.

[thepeanutbutterblur]

Here's a comment: I don't think that for the purpose you are trying to accomplish, you should put any bridge from minnesota on here, unless you're going to give it the caption "Enjoy rusty scenery? That's exactly what you'll experience after about 40 years of being crushed to the bottom of a large body of water by tons and tons of steel, stone, and cars full of rotted corpses. But just remember, there's nothing cheaper to do than drown to death and sway with the tide..."

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

Dude, you must be tons of fun at a party.
I think you're unfairly judging all Minneapolis bridges based on the actions of one. The Archstone is made of stone and is only a pedestrian and bike bridge. It's pretty safe as far as Minneapolis bridges go.

[soupless]

It is such a pleasure to see that your warped words of wisdom, have been wecognized by one of my favowite news wesources. May your fan base flourish and your byline become a household word...for those lucky enough to have houses, anyway.

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks soupless, May you continue to muse and amuse me with your comments.

[1prioritymail]

How about adding a few bridges to stay under while traveling like the Tower Bridge in London or Le Pont Notre Dame in Paris?

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

Ahhh, Le Pont Notre Dame...I lived under it for a short time. Nice bridge, but the church bells drove me nuts after awhile. I recommend the Pont Alexandre III. It's close to all the museums and is very quiet. The Tower Bridge is highly overrated. It's in a rough neighborhood where you have to fight the pigeons for leftover baked goods. Try the Westminster Bridge.

[arthurvibert]

I like London Bridge, which for some reason is in Lake Havasu City, Arizona.

[arthurvibert]

That's funny! My only problem with living under a bridge is fighting off all the trolls, as well as the endless clatter of hooves as billy goats pass overhead.

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

You must live in a small imaginary village in Northern Europe. Perhaps if you divulge your exact location, I can direct you to a quieter bridge.

[arthurvibert]

Close. It's a small, imaginary town in Eastern Europe. Where are all those billy goats going, anyway?

[pbnguru]

What about the Bridge To The 21st Century? I thought I remember someone talking about that a few years ago. Could I get a flat there?

[Lesley Stern - Huffpost Blogger]

Sorry. They stopped construction on that bridge during the Bush administration.