THE BLOG

The Daily Double Punch

02/07/2013 05:10 pm ET | Updated Apr 09, 2013

Extraterrestrial Culture Day is coming up next week, so we figured it would be a fitting time to hold up our Romper Room mirror and find what Michele Bachmann has been up to.

Lo and behold, we learned about something new that's happening called the Bachmann Curse -- and no, it has nothing to do with Marcus.

It turns out that whenever a contestant on Jeopardy! comes up with the correct question to any answer that has anything to do with the mashugana from Minnesota -- the contestant loses the game. It doesn't matter how far ahead they were up until that point. They're toast.

This happened every time Jeopardy! offered up an answer that involved Michele Bachmann. Three times the player went on to finish last. What's going on here?

Bachmann herself might appreciate how eerie this is. Kind of like the way she called it "an interesting coincidence" that swine flu outbreaks only happen during Democratic administrations. Or how God sends earthquakes and hurricanes to punish America for bloated domestic spending. Michele knows better than anyone that there are no coincidences!

So if there are no coincidences, then why is Michele ruining a cherished American institution that's enjoyed by millions? Is this part of a vast conservative scheme to pick away at everything we hold dear? They've already taken away our money to fund wars, sent our jobs to China, let Wall Street sink our homes and think that state lotteries should be reserved for people who have a lot of money.

Now they want to ruin our TV shows?

Hold on tight to your rabbit ears, everybody. Surely the Republicans won't stop at Jeopardy!. It's time to brace for the worst. What do you think? How else can the GOP ruin our favorite TV shows?

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