You Guys! 10 Signs You Were a Christian Kid in the 90s:
10.
You also wore a "Jesus Freak" T-shirt (in public), paired with chain ball necklaces, JNKOS, and "sun-in" hair-spray.
9. While everyone else was watching the Power Rangers, you were watching The Adventures of McGee and Me! The American Christian Television series that featured a wee little caucasian troll-man who challenges the faith of young, impressionable, hunky boy-stud Nick. A stud, by the way, who you would grow up to be.
8. At one point, the only things you truly believed in were Jesus and handbells.
7. Bible Drill! A drill, by the way, that you are most grateful for now; because even with the tragic weight of homosexuality, you still find the books of the bible faster than any of your heterosexual counterparts.
You guys, if you want to play at home, here are the directions:
Start with the bible above your head (or start with your hands placed on top of the bible, which by the way, is weaaakkkk) and wait for a designated caller to pick a verse. The first person to find the verse wins.
6. You remember the van. The church van. The glorious church van where you were yelled at for leading the group in a sing-a-long, "Tonight is the Night When Two Become One..."
Note: This song is NOT about the forming of the trinity.
5. Jesus Camp!
Everything I want to say about Jesus Camp (and how to save a Lesbian from Hell) can be found in my stand-up set, here:
(If you like what you see, join me here!: www.facebook.com/liannacarrera)
4. Sometimes, a lot, you accidentally start singing this song in public:
3. You are not weirded out by Sunday School teachers that use felt boards (though you totally understand why you should be):
2. You watched and probably participated in something like a Christian Praise Dance/Mime piece at some point:
1. And last, but not least:
You either cried to this song or learned it in sign language but probably both at the same time:
These are the only 10 signs that you were a Christian kid in the 90s. This list is all conclusive, final, and unfortunately, not up for additions.
Until next time!
Lianna
P.S. Actually, you are totally right. I forgot one thing -- if you got in trouble for booty dancing to Mary Mary's Shackles -- also a Christian Child of the 1990s.
Follow Lianna Carrera on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LiannaC
