Spiritual But Not Religious? Please Stop Boring Me.

On airplanes, I dread the conversation with the person who finds out I am a minister and wants to use the flight time to explain to me that he is "spiritual but not religious." Such a person will always share this as if it is some kind of daring insight, unique to him, bold in its rebellion against the religious status quo.

Next thing you know, he's telling me that he finds God in the sunsets. These people always find God in the sunsets. And in walks on the beach. Sometimes I think these people never leave the beach or the mountains, what with all the communing with God they do on hilltops, hiking trails and ... did I mention the beach at sunset yet?

Like people who go to church don't see God in the sunset! Like we are these monastic little hermits who never leave the church building. How lucky we are to have these geniuses inform us that God is in nature. As if we don't hear that in the psalms, the creation stories and throughout our deep tradition.

Being privately spiritual but not religious just doesn't interest me. There is nothing challenging about having deep thoughts all by oneself. What is interesting is doing this work in community, where other people might call you on stuff, or heaven forbid, disagree with you. Where life with God gets rich and provocative is when you dig deeply into a tradition that you did not invent all for yourself.

Thank you for sharing, spiritual-but-not-religious sunset person. You are now comfortably in the norm for self-centered American culture, right smack in the bland majority of people who find ancient religions dull but find themselves uniquely fascinating. Can I switch seats now and sit next to someone who has been shaped by a mighty cloud of witnesses instead? Can I spend my time talking to someone brave enough to encounter God in a real human community? Because when this flight gets choppy, that's who I want by my side, holding my hand, saying a prayer and simply putting up with me, just like we try to do in church.

You can't make this stuff up. There are limits to self-made religion.

 

 

 

Follow Lillian Daniel on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lillianfdaniel

Comments

[sallysees]

03:20 AM on 09/20/2011

If you're implying that the apostle Paul did not see the Lord Jesus (howbeit in His risen Majesty) on the road to Damascus. How on earth could I argue with anyone who asserts such an unbiblical statement, based on the Post-Modern/anti-supernaturalism views [some] theologians have of Paul, as if He was not guided by the Lord Himself, as he testifies to so often.

[If] you surrender the authority of the Bible to those who are all but infidels, and allow them to pit Jesus against Paul, without a close reading of all the New Testament writers, which not a single one of the other Apostles received their revelations directly from Jesus Christ, except Paul, the others testifying they received it from the HOLY SPIRIT, and not Jesus Himself, then I would say that you and I are not working from the same Bible!

Or...were you implying that I should believe so-called theologians who are all but Atheists, rather than this the greatest man ever to breathe air-the Lord's Apostle Paul?
Well, I believe what this apostle said....

[JDuck]

04:46 PM on 09/18/2011

Ever notice that up on the page choices bar when you hover your cursur over 'Culture' Christianty pops up under 'Comedy'...?

Yeah, that is what this article reminds me of...

[Todd Ian Stark]

09:40 AM on 09/18/2011

Funny, reading this I was at first envisioning a similar but symmetric experience to the same conversation. Being stuck sitting next to what I would initially stereotype as some religious dullard who can't think past their own narrow community of thought and practice and has no imagination to their sense of spirituality or any real sense of possibilities for human meaning beyond the mundane practice of religious rituals and community service. Someone who lives mired in the profane while professing to the sacred. I would hope the conversation would eventually get us past our initial stereotypes though.

I wonder how much of this difference in preference for different ways of thinking is dispositional and how much actually results from being part of different kinds of communities of thought.

[contrarywise]

02:12 PM on 09/17/2011

Boy, this lady really offended a lot of readers, judging from the comments below. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; HP readers probably tend to be less "religious" than the average, and the article was not very tactful. A recent article brought forth a lot of nasty and ignorant sneering comments on religion, and I'm speaking as one who shares much of the antagonism toward religious dogmatism. But I agree with the author that it is too easy to call oneself "spiritual" on the grounds of vague New Age views. And "doing good in the world" is not the basis, or necessarily the result, of religious commitmentIf it were, what are all those monastics and holy hermits up to? Some kind of twisted masochistic misanthropy? Some will say yes, they are, but I must assure them that they are wrong, and need to study some literature on the history of such practices to enlighten themselves.

When someone tells me they don't subscribe to any of the traditional religions, I automatically suspect them of following that very popular alternate faith, the religion of the Self. The circular credo of which goes something like this: "If I like it, it must be good. If I like what's good, then I must be good. Therefore, if I like it..." And so on. I suspect that such responses to the avowedly religious are inspired by a certain defensiveness....

[JDuck]

04:54 PM on 09/18/2011

"When someone tells me they don't subscribe to any of the traditiona­l religions, I automatica­lly suspect them of following that very popular alternate faith, the religion of the Self. The circular credo of which goes something like this: "If I like it, it must be good. If I like what's good, then I must be good. Therefore, if I like it..." And so on. I suspect that such responses to the avowedly religious are inspired by a certain defensiven­ess.... "

Talk about stereotyping.....

[TomP100]

11:06 AM on 09/17/2011

I detect very sour grapes from someone is certainly distressed about the decline in interest in organized religion. Indeed, the kind of arr o gant attitude shown in Ms. Daniel's little rant is precisely one of the reasons why more and more people grow weary of organized religion. That and getting tired of being told what to think by clergy.

[eddy joe]

02:58 PM on 09/17/2011

“Why does it just have to be the bible and no other religious, or secular for that matter, idea? All religions, from Buddhism to Wicca teach the golden rule.”......Any religion, organization, or person that teaches morality, is fine with me.

[MuchMadness]

12:36 AM on 09/17/2011

Oh, so you're spiritual but not religious?
Thanks for letting me know!
I'm carnal but not profane.

[LynneE]

12:27 AM on 09/17/2011

What a disgusting, smug little person. Luckily, she didn't have to sit next to ME on the plane, a snarky, no-so-boring atheist who would have told her exactly what I thought about her and her religion. People like Daniels are one of the reasons I don't like the religious. And so she becomes the Devil's advocate, so to speak.

[bangarang]

06:26 PM on 09/22/2011

Oh my goodness... you're outrageous. She's not talking to you, the "not-so-boring atheist," she's talking to a certain person through this article. Sorry to burst your bubble, but not everything is relevant to your thoughts and opinions.

[LynneE]

09:22 PM on 09/22/2011

Why, thank you! I don't think I've ever been called outrageous before, and I kinda like it :)

She made generalizations about EVERYONE who finds spirituality within or in other places besides a church: "How lucky we are to have these geniuses inform us that God is in nature."

Nasty, smug and downright bitc hy, in my humble, but somewhat genius-esque opinion.

[joe22180]

03:18 PM on 09/16/2011

"Where life with God gets rich and provocative is when you dig deeply into a tradition that you did not invent all for yourself. "

--True, it gets provocative when someone else invents it and imposes it on others.

[Susan Barrett Price]

01:41 PM on 09/16/2011

I guess the author was trying to be humorous, but comes across as oddly intolerant for a pastor. She's really saying "unless you belong to an organized religion," you bore me.

[JDuck]

04:57 PM on 09/18/2011

I really dont think she was trying to be comical.

However, since she hasnt ever responded to any comments, we'll just have to assume she was serious.

Maybe next time she should just drive alone and then she wont have to listen to all those who dont share her religion.

[skeptic406]

01:00 PM on 09/16/2011

I think the point has been missed. To say you are spiritual but not religious is an oxymoron. All humans are spiritual: we are spiritual creatures and we all have our own religion - each one of us. But when a person says he or she is not religious it is condescending and at the same time untrue. Everybody places trust in something or some one; perhaps in wealth, nation, family or work or God. Whatever that someone or something is - is in fact the basis of one's religion. The criticism is that religion that is centered on "self" typically and perhaps by definition, does not feed the hungry, clothe the naked or care for the orphan. (Religion of the self might do these things if the person is seeking popular acclaim for the doing of "good works" and admittedly, even those who are claiming to be "religious" might share these selfish motivations.)

[January]

12:40 PM on 09/16/2011

The core of the Protestant Reformation was the idea that individuals do not require an intermediary. One need not depend on someone else in order to worship. So the issue is not whether one has joined an organized religion but whether one experiences belonging to the divine.

The distinction between "spiritual" and "religious" has those same coordinates in the !2 Step Movement for alcoholics and addicts. While it is a community, it is also anonymous, which means that it only works when individuals adopt its principles and apply them religiously.

[java33]

11:34 PM on 09/15/2011

Geez, your lousy article is among the reasons why i keep myself away from those self proclaimed religious people.

[Trismegistus22]

09:30 PM on 09/15/2011

I think that a more practical and reality oriented point of view should focus on the human need to communicate. Personally when I am on a long solo flight, I read my kindle. But that's me. Other folks feel the need to converse with someone who, let's face it, is going to be touching their knee for hours and perhaps sleeping on their shoulder and snoring.
Airplane conversation are no better than bus trip conversations. It is just the way people are. If you don't feel like the "SBNR" folks ar not worth your time then find a polite excuse to fall asleep.

[Tony Rochon]

09:13 PM on 09/15/2011

I agree - people who say that they are spiritual but not religious are just spouting meaningless pap and drivel.

So are people who say they are religious.

[el sistema]

06:51 PM on 09/15/2011

Seems to be another Christian playing the victim or at least dragging the conversation back to themselves.