'The Bachelor' Recap: Week Nine Pop Quiz

Hands down, this season of "The Bachelor" (Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on ABC) rivals that random Prince's season as the most boring in franchise history. The Feb. 27 episode didn't even come close to entertaining. I would call it a distant cousin of mediocre. Like Ben's wardrobe, it was two hours of a bland, forgetful ensemble. In order to spare you the mundane details, I fashioned a fun little quiz to help make the recap more interesting.

• The grey t-shirt
• The slate Levis
• The granite coat
• The smoky tie
• None of the above. I sometimes miss and definitely prefer Ames' red chinos.

• When the helicopter went straight down the side of a mountain while he was with Nicki on their date.
• When he went repelling down the side of a mountain while he was with Lindzi on their date.
• When Courtney played mind games with him and there was a moment he thought she would forgo the forgo card opportunity.
• When Kacie B. came back and told him that Courtney was "in it to win it."
• When Our Host Chris Harrison sent word that he wouldn't be able to deliberate before the rose ceremony, only to show up moments later shouting, "SYKE!"

• "Remember to look concerned."
• "I wonder if the ABC intern refilled my boot flask?"
• "I've got to land this plane. Soon."
• "I'll give him 10,000 to consult my personal stylist and go shopping."
• "Next time, I'm insisting the studio flies Roberto out to meet me."

• One that is the size of a wine barrel.
• One that appears to be a bath tub with questionable glowing blue water.
• One that actually has jets that circulate bubbles.
• He doesn't care. There are half-naked chicks sitting in his lap.
• Any hot tub that includes his good buddy Constantine.

5. True or False: Someone loaned Ben a flat iron for his hair.

• You knew it was Kacie B. from the legs.
• You thought it could be Ashley coming back to give Ben advice.
• Shawntel can't take a hint and thinks the odds are forever in her favor.
• Courtney is on the prowl for some fun in Switzerland with an outfit that involves naughty lederhosen.
• The ABC intern lost a bet.

• Conquering a fear of heights ... again.
• Comparing the fact that you can "see forever" on top of a mountain to "seeing yourself forever with this man."
• Ben pretending he had a hard time deciding whether or not to give The Model a rose.
• Recommending a drinking game corresponding with the amount of times Courtney touches her hair.
• Nicki's toga dress at the rose ceremony.

8. True or False: Lindzi's pants were forgone in the forgo card fantasy suite.

• Ali's signature yellow tank top, blue yoga pants.
• Ashley wearing a skirt purchased from Build-A-Bear.
• Going to see Titanic in cocktail dresses and four-inch heels.
• The fact that we had to watch them get dressed in cocktail dresses and four-inch heels to go see Titanic in 3-D.
• The retro 3-D glasses.

• Courtney
• Lindzi
• Neither
• Constantine
• Who cares?

You all receive an A+ for putting up with such nonsense. Congratulations! To read the recap in its entirety, feel free to visit www.iHateGreenBeans.com.