I think that success is very overrated. And because I was born and raised in California, I come to this from a Western point-of-view. Growing up in the United States in a middle-class family has given me the framework through which I see the world. Also the fact of having been a child during the 1950s also put a particular stamp on that world view.
I was born in 1950. This means that my parents were young during the Depression years and went through the hardships of the World War II years. When I came along -- the first of four children -- my parents were busy working and striving for the ideal dream of owning a house, having two cars in the driveway, and providing their family with everything they perceived they didn't have growing up.
My dad's view of success pushed him to climb as high as he could in his employment. It also pushed him to constantly try to build ways of earning extra income. To my eyes then... and now... it seemed as though Dad felt he never had enough money. My childhood memories of Christmas are of a living room over-stuffed with packages. What I learned later is that my parents incurred debt every holiday season in an effort to provide an illusion of abundance. For my parents, part of achieving success meant having the ability to buy things.
The common definition for success is that you have wealth and power. Power is often attributed as being integral to attaining success. Wealth. Power. In western thought these two elements have to be in place or one is not, indeed, successful. Looking back at my parents, who are both gone now, I see that they failed. They never did achieve the wealth my dad so badly wanted and they never wielded power. Of course, what is "power"? How do you define power in the context of success? Power over something or someone? Power to affect? Power to effect? If success is truly defined as being wealthy and powerful, then my parents were not successful.
However, my parents were happy. There was joy in our home. Our house wasn't grand but it was comfortable. Both my parents worked and my mother was genius at money management so the bills were paid and there was always food on the table. They managed to clear each year's Christmas debt in time for the next coming holidays. We didn't take grand vacations...no trips to Hawaii or ski vacations. But we did travel from California to Oregon to spend time with relatives. Some of my best summer memories are those long road trips.
Sitting here now, looking back, I consider that my parents did just fine. They did the best they could with what they had and did not put their family's wellbeing in jeopardy in pursuit of 'success.' I think my parents thrived.
When my dad passed away he left no financial gain beyond his pension and Social Security benefits for my mom. The very definition of 'middle class' I think. My mother continued to work until she retired. When she passed away she left only enough money to take care of her burial needs. There was no estate left for us children. The riches that were left are memories. Good memories in the main.
It's funny, I've never considered seeking success. Never having experienced living with money or power I've never had a reason to seek them on my own. What has been more important is surviving...financially. I'll be honest, life in the United States...from a financial point-of-view...is not easy. For the majority of us it is paycheck-to-paycheck. Living this reality makes the pursuit of 'success' pretty much impossible. It is more important to survive. Keep food on the table, keep a roof over our heads and keep the gas tank full.
However, does this mean that you can't thrive?
Not at all. My definition of "thriving" is to live in a state of joy regardless of outward appearances and circumstances. To choose "joy" as the default. By having joy at the center of your being means that happiness, or happy times, are not predicated on the accumulation of wealth or power. Rather it means that fulfilling your life comes from some other place. I have no money. I have no power. However, I am thriving.
This doesn't mean there aren't hard times. There are. This doesn't mean that there aren't difficulties. There are. Scary things can happen. Recently I came through a health scare...a blood clot in one lung. What brought me through it was not a huge bank account or a sense of power over whatever. No. What brought me through it were the intangibles: faith, love, determination, gratefulness and an underlying joy of being alive.
Thriving is that step beyond surviving. It is a gratefulness that the sun rises each day anew. It is a determination to live Life on purpose and not accidentally. Thriving is joyful contentment. Contentment can be found and enjoyed in a moment of observation: watching a bird soaring overhead; feeling a summer's breeze; making fog with your breath on a cold winter's day. Surviving means you are alive. Thriving means your soul prospers. Joy increases. Moments of happiness can be recognized and appreciated.
Maybe it's time to take the whole antiquated idea of success and throw it away. Maybe it's time to rethink our reasons for working towards achievement. Money, in and of itself, is nothing but a bartering tool. Power, in a better context, keeps the lights burning. Maybe it's time to alter the discussion to one of "achieving joy" instead of dollars and cents.
So here's the question: can you thrive when you have no money and no power? The answer from one joyful person who has no money and no power: yes.