A Grandmother's Lesson in a Chocolate Pancake

Our friendship with Miss Susannah began five years ago, early on a Sunday morning, when she leaned over our booth and said what she says to everyone in her section, "What can I get you folks?"

I was new to the game of taking grandsons to restaurants. Austin was three and Brendan one, and I figured we couldn't do much damage at our local pancake house, already a little worn around the edges. I was relieved when Susannah said she was a grandmother, too. I figured if some sugar packets got mysteriously opened or if we left the syrup bottles drippy from overuse, she'd understand.

I used to think the appeal for the boys was the restaurant's go-to item for kids ─ a chocolate pancake made into a smiley face by chocolate chips, whipped cream, and maraschino cherries (the kind of breakfast only a grandmother would let happen). It must look a lot better than it tastes, though, because halfway through, Austin and Brendan usually push their plates gently to the middle of the table and sigh, "Ugh . . . I'm full."

Even if I give them some alternative breakfast restaurant ideas ─ lots of places have fancy pancakes ─ they won't hear of it.

"Miss Susannah!" they say in unison, every time.

On the drive over, the boys usually wonder aloud if she'll be there (she is always there). If it's been more than a few weeks since our last visit, they predict she'll be surprised (she isn't but pretends to be).

"Maybe she was thinking we wouldn't come back," Austin says, "and then she'll see us and she'll be all, 'Where have you guys been?'"

Susannah may be in the middle of yelling at the cook, or squinting at her order pad, or rushing to get someone's coffee to the table, but everything stops when the boys walk in. She hugs and kisses them. We never have to ask to be seated in her section. It's the only place in my life where I've ever been a regular. I'm the Norm of IHOP.

"So, how is school going?" she'll ask. "What do you think about this rain? Are you going to take swim lessons at your pool this summer?" They do their best to keep her up to date, sensing that somehow it's important to her.

They're too young to notice her age, probably 70ish, or that her work day started before sunrise, or that her tips are never going to buy her a retirement condo in Boca. They just know that the second she sees them, everything stops. She beams. They beam back. And for five years they've come here. For her, not the pancakes.

I try not to get ahead of myself about what this all means. I did that too much as a mother, always a few years in the future, predicting what every little milestone was telling me. When you're a grandmother, it's easier to live in the moment. No guarantees as I listen to their adorable little boy voices, that I'll ever get to hear their grownup ones. No need, as I watch them eat their chocolate pancakes and scan the room for their favorite waitress, to tell myself what fine men they'll turn out to be.

They are kind children. That's enough for today.

As we are leaving this morning, Susannah says to a couple at the next table, "They've been coming here since they were babies." They don't hear her, but I do.

As we pull out of the parking lot, it's quiet in the car.

"She was really smiley today," Austin says.

Then they lean back, and for a while we ride in a delicious, sweet silence.