THE BLOG
11/15/2013 03:38 pm ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

The Power of Pleasure

How can pleasure make us powerful? I am referring to the deep waves of pleasure that are much less about adrenal pumping thrills and much more about boundless ecstasy. There are many ways we can experience this but at the heart of pleasure are those experiences that give us access to the orgasmic energy that is our life force. We can tune into this energy with focus; it is like a current running in your body all the time. And when it is flowing freely, we can heal ourselves emotionally and physically. A few months ago I wrote a blog about the "Transformational Power of Feeling Safe," and I want to emphasize that before women can access this deep pleasure, they must feel safe in the many ways I explained. Pleasure is only possible with a platform of emotional and physical safety.

Last week I listened in on a free teleseminar called The Red Tent Revival and heard a very inspiring interview between the founder, Kristin Sweeting Morelli, and Dr. Sara Gottfried, a Harvard-trained doctor who wrote The Hormone Cure. She gave us the best reasons for the importance of true pleasure (not pretense). The stress hormone, as most people know, is cortisol, and the antidote is oxytocin, the warm cuddly hormone produced from closeness, connection and yes, orgasms.

Dr. Gottfried says that the number one way to bring hormones into balance and to calm down cortisol surges is "toe curling" orgasms. And you can experience these with self pleasuring as well as with a partner. According to Dr. Gottfried, the adrenal glands that produce cortisol actually respond to brain messages originating from the heart, which is well supplied with neurotransmitters. This is why positive emotion and the release of oxytocin are vitally important for reducing stress. When you cuddle a child, love your partner, deeply forgive a loved one, and surrender into a full body orgasm, you are replenishing and nourishing yourself on a cellular level.

There is a revolution going on right now, which is part of the return of the Divine Feminine to our consciousness. Women are reconnecting to their ability to experience pleasure in their own unique ways. They are waking up to the truth that orgasmic energy is their life force and there are multiple ways to tap into it. Movements such as the Red Tent Temple are gatherings where women heal and encourage each other to pursue their best selves. Currently the Red Tent Revival is creating an online international community of women committed to sexual awakening. The secret is out: As women become more filled with pleasure, they attract more of what they want in life -- creativity, resources, lovers and friends. When women radiate ecstasy, they are truly beautiful. The woman is magnetized within her own being. Beauty is a fulfilled, turned on woman and this does not require expensive treatments, potions, or perfect bodies.

What is also revolutionary about this message to women is that sexual empowerment turns women away from looking towards the "other" as our source of fulfillment, which creates painful dependency. The empowered woman sees her partner as a wonderful addition. The tragedy for men is that many have been hijacked by the porn images that portray sexual ejaculation as the main outcome and they often miss the deep pleasure of the slow building of powerful waves of pleasure with a beloved that does not even require ejaculation. The analogy would be viewing orgasm as a sneeze instead of an eruption.

It is my mission and my profound desire that the scales will tip in favor of understanding sexual energy as life force and that our culture will embrace life affirming sexuality. I hope that lovers will turn away from sex as manipulation and novelty tricks with a phallocentric focus. When we choose the ancient spiritual sex model upgraded for our times, what I have called the pleasure model in my book, it is a game changer and there are many men who have already experienced the benefits: glowing, powerful partners and fulfilling sex.

The women who are claiming their pleasure are surely leading the way.