Seduction, for me, is no longer candlelight, roses and satin sheets. At age 72 and after 53 years of marriage, the lure of the seven-letter word hidden on my Scrabble rack, waiting to be discovered, is the best aphrodisiac there is. If I am clever, I can move those letters up and down, from side to side and in and out of blends until I have it. Bingo!
Foreplay wasn't always about fondling p's, q's and ing's. Fifty years ago, we had sweaty make-out sessions in his father's 1952 Packard. Necking and petting were as far as we could go since the Pill, reliable condoms and Roe v. Wade were all in the future, but boy, could we steam up those windows.
Finally, we were legal in 1959 and married sex began. There was the meaningful glance, the caress, the sexy nightgown, the glass of jug wine. Later, when the kids were always under foot, there were furtive escapes to motels with pillows in hand. Sneaky sex was always the hottest.
Bedroom bliss, however, cannot last forever, and much of our libido eventually went up in smoke just like those afterglow cigarettes we used to share. Warm has replaced hot, passion has become comfort and that sexy, black nightgown has faded to flannel.
Happily, Scrabble has reignited the flame of desire. How exciting it is to feel that spark when my j or my z slides into a triple-letter box. What fun it is to seduce my opponent into opening a triple word space for me. Lordy, it's the G-Spot all over again.
Think of all the opportunities I have to play my favorite game. I can play against a live person or, if online, an opponent known only by their first name, adding to the drama. I can even play on my Kindle against a computer named "Al" and have the option of choosing a "hard'" or "easy" game. Who can resist that power?
Imagine playing with all those willing partners without guilt or fear of sexually transmitted diseases. Now, I can play with multiple partners all at the same time. Why settle for a menage à trois when I can easily handle a menage à dix? What a woman I have become!
Take heart, fellow seniors. You do not have to settle for those sexual sunsets. Rise out of your recliners and pick up a Scrabble set with a late edition dictionary or get your 10-year-old grandson to teach you to play on your computer or cell phone. You will learn new words that you never heard of and you don't even have to know what they mean. It's like friends with benefits and no commitments. Who cares what za, xu or qi mean as long as you can score big? Over time, you will learn when to swap tiles (playing "switch" can be fun) and how to set up your dramatic end game (exciting climax). A bonus for older men is that you will get immediate performance feedback; nothing satisfies more than a game score of 500 or a single word score over 100.
Now that I have found the perfect outlet for my former sexual pleasures, I wonder if technology has produced too much of a good thing. For sure, younger people have discovered ways to avoid personal intimacy. How much more convenient and easier to flirt in a chat room or have virtual sex online instead of the real experience? Tweeting and texting are fast replacing talking and touching. Note the recent scandals involving men and women in their prime posting revealing pictures online to enhance their fantasies. Maybe they all need a real Scrabble game to get some sex back in their lives. Actually, I think they should start with Boggle and work their way up to mature sexual activity.
As for me, I shall sit here with my glass of fine Cabernet -- my jug wine days are long gone -- and get ready to make my move on "Al."