Is Your Boss Making Your Life Miserable?

03/02/2015 01:42 pm ET | Updated May 02, 2015
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If it were not for my boss, I'd be happy in my job. How many times have you said that to yourself?

Fact: There's no shortage of terrible bosses. They micro-manage your work... they don't listen... they don't trust you to make a decision... and they treat you like a traitor for wanting to leave on time so that you eat dinner with your family.

Stressful circumstances and unpleasant people are a reality of life. They're as predictable as bad weather. But that doesn't mean you have to constantly walk around feeling powerless, stressed-out, or angry.

If you really don't like your boss, you could look for another job, and go work for someone you can respect. OR... You could stay in your job and continue to complain, moan, and feel stressed. OR...

You can work on changing the way you think about your boss.

I like the last option best. Not everyone can just pick up and find another job. Now, that is hard work... and besides there's a mortgage to pay.... the kids love their school... you live in a great community. And heaven forbid you should have to sell your house in a hurry.

The traditional approach to solving any problem has typically involved taking some kind of ACTION -- in this case it's finding a new job. And even then, you're never guaranteed that your next boss doesn't become the next boss from hell.

But what if instead of taking ACTION, you could shift something internally within YOU? What if you could approach this problem from the inside out?

Suggestion: This may feel as if I've asked you to suck on a lemon, but find a way, anyway, that you can to feel better about your boss. Go on... I challenge you, even though I know you're kicking and screaming with resistance, and you're about to delete this post. Stay with me a second... find something... anything... that you can genuinely appreciate about them.

What if you discovered that your boss has a troubled marriage, or no family at all... would that change or soften your judgments about him? What if you realized that she may not have good people skills, but that she sure knows how to keep the company financially healthy and provide you with a job? Or what if you could appreciate his hard work and commitment to the company? And what about the huge pressure she must be under running the organization?

When you can find that opening that lets some light in -- even if it's just a crack, you will discover that your stress levels will diverge ever so slightly for a while. You will begin to feel less agitated.

But there's something else that happens when you genuinely find that crack of light in something negative. Your own energy shifts. And when that happens, you begin to attract and rendezvous with a whole new fresh set of circumstances and people. Annoying people seem to be less frequent, your day flows more effortlessly, your workplace becomes a kinder and gentler place to inhabit, and your boss seems to stay out of your way.

When you start to pay attention to how YOU are flowing your energy, when you decide that complaining -- no matter how justified -- depletes and tarnishes your vibration and the quality of your day -- that's when you'll discover the tremendous leverage you get from directing your focus.

Stop agonizing about whether you should find another job -- at least for a while -- and put your focus on how you are BEING. It's so much easier than moving.