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Linda Stone

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Is it Time to Retire the Never-Ending List?

Posted: 06/11/08 07:21 PM ET

One afternoon, earlier this year, as I was scanning a long list that I was adding to endlessly, I realized, "I'll never get it all done. That's probably just fine. But this endless list and this feeling of being completely scheduled...it's not working right now."

I met some friends for dinner and put the question out: "Do you have a never-ending list? Do you manage your time? Do you manage minutes, tasks, and lists? Do you start each day with a list that has more on it at the end of the day than it did at the beginning of the day, in spite of how many items are completed and crossed off?

Or do you manage your attention? Do you manage emotions, intention, and make choices about what will and will not get done? What are your favorite ways to do this?"

I got such an interesting set of answers, that, these last few months, I made a point of asking a variety of people: office workers, surgeons, physicians, artists, parents, and CEOs. Here's what I've learned.

In the cases where people reported managing their time, they more often reported experiencing burn-out, they didn't know how much longer they could go on at their particular job or lifestyle. There was often a sense of helplessness and overwhelm. The endless list, the one that gets added to and never completed, at the center of it all, left them with a heavy heart and a burdened sense of tomorrow. There was no celebration of what had been accomplished, no kick back and enjoy after a day well done. Office workers with schedules packed with meetings, projects, and overflowing email boxes reported best efforts to manage time; best efforts that left them breathless. Physicians, rapidly cycling through appointments and report writing, focused on time and efficiency. Time. Efficiency. Lists. Tasks.

What did surgeons, artists, and CEO's have in common? Most of them reported that they managed both their time and their attention. In surgery, in the studio, and in the time carved out to think through strategies and issues, these professionals reported shutting down the devices and endless inputs (email, phone, interruptions), at scheduled times, and claiming those moments to focus. In almost every case, these professionals reported experiencing "flow" (a la Csikszentmihalyi) in their work.

We think we know what attention is. In fact, today's dictionary will tell us it's the "concentration of the mental powers upon an object." This definition assumes our attention can effectively be everywhere, all the time. We haven't always thought of attention this way.

In 1890, when the psychologist, William James, gave a definition of attention, he described it as, "taking possession by the mind in clear and vivid form, of one out of what seem several simultaneously possible objects or trains of thought... It implies withdrawal from some things in order to deal effectively with others."

How to switch from managing time to managing attention? Here are some of the suggestions I've collected so far and I hope you'll comment to let me know your suggestions:

1. Each evening or morning before you start your day, make a short list of your intentions (the result and feeling of something you want) for the day and by each, write the related to do's for that day. Try to keep your list to 5 intentions. Consciously choose what you will do and what you will not do. Keep a different list of what you will review for inclusion on other days.
2. List only what you really expect to do that day. As other things come to mind, write them on a separate list. By putting these items on a separate list, you are creating the space to be in the moment with each of your day's priorities. Review that list as you plan for the next day and determine how they fit in to your plans. Give yourself some down time, enjoy your successes at the end of the day.
3. Give yourself meaningful blocks of uninterrupted time to focus on each intention. Turn OFF technology each day during those blocks and focus on your intentions.
4. At home, be clear about what technology you'll use and where. Computer in the kitchen? Maybe not. A friend of mine just removed the computer from her kitchen and said she is now far less likely to stop to constantly check email or news. In the kitchen, she pays attention to her family and prepares food. Sometimes they do group family activities at the kitchen table. When she heads into her office to work on her computer, her children know not to disturb her while she works.

Untethered technology gives us the freedom to do nearly anything, anytime, anywhere. It can also enslave us - we feel compelled to use it where ever it is. Technology is neutral. How, when and where we use it is up to us.

How about you? Do you manage your time? Your attention? Or both? How? What advice would you offer?

 

Follow Linda Stone on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindaStone

One afternoon, earlier this year, as I was scanning a long list that I was adding to endlessly, I realized, "I'll never get it all done. That's probably just fine. But this endless list and this fee...
One afternoon, earlier this year, as I was scanning a long list that I was adding to endlessly, I realized, "I'll never get it all done. That's probably just fine. But this endless list and this fee...
 
 
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04:32 PM on 06/16/2008
My dad once told me that if you need someone to do a task for you than have the busiest guy to it for you. This has never made much sense until I read this post. Odd as it may sound, busy people have great time management skills. They have figured out ways to cut down the time each task takes because they do so many tasks. I have almost given up on email because it feels never ending; I have 1200 unread emails in my inbox and growing. I am just starting to clean it out and make habit of checking it. A great way to do things you don't want to do is to make a habit out of it. First analyze the task and dedicate a certain time each day to do the task. It will be difficult the first couple weeks, which is called the transition period. But once your brain becomes rewired as you do the same task each day at the same time for the same amount of time it will become a habit and you will not consider it a hassle or struggle. P.S I am still in the transition period of checking the endless inbox!
01:09 AM on 06/17/2008
Oddly lists can be used to free or enslave. Write it down, then it is out of your head and you are free to focus on the present. This works if you write it down the moment the task occurs to you, then let go until the right time for that particular task. Alternately, lists can be never-ending, and as you point out, providing infinite opportunity for self flagellation. Either way lists are a very western, linear invention; perfect reflection of what we are: human doings.
06:41 PM on 06/14/2008
This post arrived in my inbox (I'm a fan of Linda Stone) at just the right time. I'd been looking around Amazon for suggestions about list management; I was getting tired of pushing (or would that be popping?) the same items from one daily list to the next. I'm going to refer to these ideas as I re-prioritize how I want to spend my time. Thanks!
05:36 PM on 06/14/2008
BTW, I'm not at all opposed to lists, only to the NEVER-ENDING list, the morale-zapping, road to hopelessness and despair list, the list that won't stop LISTING... that's the one to retire! I sometimes write a list before I go to bed; get it all out of my head so that I go to bed with a sense of freedom from trying not to forget something that might matter. I've begun to do the attention management piece that goes with that, though. I've found that when I have too many things on my mind or when I'm being directed by a never-ending list, I'm at the highest risk for losing focus and trying to do four things at once, often, poorly! When I have a sense of clarity about what my focus is in the moment and stay in the present, I both enjoy what I'm doing and feel better about what I've done and my day.

Great NYT piece: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/14/technology/14email.html When I read it, I couldn't help but think: this new non-profit group may try to address information overload very directly with programs like email free Friday. I think there are also other, really creative, out of the box solutions. For example -- games driven by breathing or pulse. These are calming and focusing. Breathing determines emotion and emotion determines breathing. MUCH easier to keep things in perspective when we're not in "fight or flight."
08:41 PM on 06/13/2008
This post is such a great reminder. I was a Franklin Planner user for over 10 years and a list junkie.
Since shifting my career to primarily Motherhood, I am proud to admit not using a time management system and what a joy that is! My stress level has decreased significantly. Maybe that was quitting the corporate life? Or....maybe it was letting go of my "to do" lists? Who knows? Probably both.
02:31 AM on 06/13/2008
What a timely post. Just the other day, forced to unplug due to a long plane ride, i resolved to stop being enslaved to my To Do list. I realized that I had been letting the "To Dos" seep into every nook and cranny of my day, and night. There is truly no end to the administrivia of life, so one must put boundaries on it. Choosing a few (very few) intentions for the day or week is a great way to keep the To Dos in line and focus more on the important, rather than just compulsively checking things off lists. And I am grateful for your point about the value of allowing some time to enjoy the successes of one's day.
02:16 AM on 06/13/2008
Great ideas! Time management, with a focus on minutes and tasks, often takes us into future thinking or into the past. Attention management, with a focus on intention, brings us into the present moment.

Agree that the never-ending list sets us up for failure. Blocks of focused, present moment attention are powerful. Just as individuals move toward homeostasis, I think our culture will, too. We've swung far into a continuous partial attention, 24/7, always-on lifestyle. We're recognizing that and, in the next decade, we'll swing back into balance. I'm really optimistic about this!
04:08 PM on 06/12/2008
I used to be a Franklin Planner time nut. I've been off it for a year and I am thinking of returning to it. My problem was always putting too many things on the To-Do list and assigning them all A's. It set me up for failure EVERY day. Not a healthy way to look at one's day.

Finding a balance between being overly organized is an obvious goal. Too organized and I've found my mind will do things to subvert my effort. Not organized enough....well, flipping chaos.

There is a scene the movie, "Instinct", in which Cuba Gooding Jr.'s character gets an instruction on just how little control he has over his own life. It's a scene that stays with me as I consider just how to go about trying to gain better control of my life. The paradox of there being no such thing as "Control" (life happens in incredibly good and bad ways, quite randomly) while still needing to control some aspect of our apparently controllable lives, it's a difficult tension to maintain/understand.

Nice post. I'll keep it in mind as I return to time management after a long hiatus.
03:55 PM on 06/12/2008
Linda, your idea of "continuous partial attention" has been tremendously helpful to me — when I present it to my students (I teach college English), it's as if I'm holding a mirror up to their experience. The very idea of giving sustained attention to one person or one thing — a poem, a movie, a painting — now seems downright counter-cultural.

I sometimes use a timer when I'm browsing, and I like writing in WriteRoom or a text-editor, where there are far fewer distractions than in a word-processing program. What's most helpful though is simply staying away from life onlife when I need to read and think and write.
05:45 AM on 06/13/2008
Yikes -- the site turned my em dashes into quotation marks. I really do know how to punctuate sentences (it's part of my job!).