So Out, They're In: Mom Jeans

I don't get many work emails that make me smile. For the most part they make me slam my head on my desk, throw my hands up in disbelief, or roll my eyes in distrust. But one happy email danced its way into my work inbox a few days ago, and I haven't stopped grinning since. Was it an announcement of a raise, you ask? No, of course not, but it was the next best thing: Casual Fall. That's right, jeans all week long!

I salivated with anticipation and excitement as I walked home. Once inside my apartment, I quickly began organizing my closet and putting away my lame work-pants and dresses and puling forth my jeans and denim-wear. No expense was spared. J Crew suit? Sorry, won't need ya, see you next job interview. Theory skirt? I never liked you anyway, hope you enjoy the view from the back of my closet. Jeans-I-haven't-worn-since-9th-grade? Step right up to the front, old pal!

My sweet roommate, afraid to disturb a fevered pack rat at work, commented softly, "Wow, you have every jean-style they've ever made." She then backed away slowly and quietly retreated to her bedroom and locked the door. Can't say that I blame her; can say that I respect her.

Jolted back into reality by her voice (I was hearing only the helium tones of denim elves before), I took a break from my jean-folding and color-coordinating to think about what my roommate had said. Did I really have every jean-style ever made? There lay boot-cut, straight-leg, skinny-leg, wide-leg, flare-leg, low-rise, ultra low-rise, high-waisted, and boyfriend jeans. Not to mention dark wash, light wash, stonewash, regular wash, and distressed. But then, with a pair of dark-washed straight-legs clutched in my chapped paws, I thought the unthinkable. Is there a jean style I don't own? Could it be?

After a pause for thought, I was ready to pat myself on the back for owning every type of jean when an idea flashed through my mind. It was a pair of jeans so frightening that it made my stomach turn: that light-blue color, that soft-denim fabric, that urge to go to little-league games. Was the one style missing actually the key to my jean originality? Horrified and intrigued, it was decidedly so.

The Mom Jean: so out that they're in. High-waisted and tapered, these jeans unapologetically accentuate the flat curvature of the 40+ buttock. If you've been to Kohl's or J.C. Penny, or if you have a mom, you've seen these jeans. And you've probably made fun of them.

But laugh no more; it's time to get serious. Jessica Simpson and Mischa Barton know what I'm talking about: they were the pioneers in a world unprepared for the fashion-forwardness of the Mom Jean, and they got punished. They may as well have been tied to a goal post, pelted with orange peels, then untied and asked to clean up the place and drive everyone home.

The Mom Jean flatters no one, but we're not going for good looks here. We're looking to score points with the judges under difficulty and originality. I think Mary-Kate Olsen uses the same mindset when dressing in the morning.

But unlike any starlet's ensemble, the Mom Jean outfit is sensible, and has a lot of pockets, and goes with every Chico's top out there. The combination of shock-value and wearability in fashion is not often found, but the Mom Jean owns it. So I gotta ask, is the Mom Jean wearer onto something? All this time I thought they were one step behind, but turns out they are two steps ahead. That's so "mom."

I'm not going to run out this weekend to get some Mom Jeans because, frankly, I don't think I'm ready. She who wears the Mom Jean and is not in fact a mom must be ready to take some heat. I'll leave the fashion-forwardness to the originators this Saturday and Sunday on soccer fields and football fields nationwide. But when the time comes, when I feel a little tingle in my ankle travel up past my navel, I'll know that I'm ready for the challenge of the Mom Jean.

Follow Lindsay Mannering on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindsayVirginia

Comments

[Bitsko]

Thank the goddess I live in New York City, where no sensible woman would be caught dead wearing these hideous things.

[alieninvader]

Add a drawstring and a flannel lining, and you have hockey mom jeans.

[JTunes]

Who knew the Mom-Jean topic would cause such a stir? Brava, Lindsay. Loved every word of it.

The snag I foresee in creating a full-on Mom Jean resurgence (aside from the 4-foot ass problem) is that the jean itself has never really gone away. I mean, bellbottoms were kinda refreshing when they came back (the first time) because no one had seen them on that scale in decades...but I actually get a little nervous for casual Fridays at work because of all the Mom Jeans that come out of the woodwork. (In case anyone's mental image is incomplete, let me add that the ultimate accesories for this look are white Reeboks and a snazzy fanny pack. And maybe a bedazzled cat t-shirt. A purple one.)

If somehow the Mom Jean Renaissance does come about, what will happen to these innocent, unsuspecting middle-aged ladies when all of a sudden they find themselves on the cutting edge of fashion? In any case, Lindsay, if you choose to go where every 20-something woman has promised herself never to go, I'll be behind you all the way...staring at your huge ass.

[Vetiver]

" the flat curvature of the 40+ buttock".
I had to laugh there-it depends on which 40+ ers you're talking about. Anyway, I have no idea why jeans are popular they're so uncomfortable.

[Stagehnd1]

Hello camletoes!

[Economist1]

I am very lucky. I am the Mom of three wonderful grown daughters who care about how I look. For many, many years I wore Mom jeans and other pants that fit that type. Then two years ago, two of my daugthers gave me a pair of low rise, boot cut jeans that had some style for Mother's Day. I immediately realized how much more comfortable the jeans fit when they weren't sitting on and hugging my waistline. I'm a convert for all pants now. I like them much better and think they look better, too.

[jadednotoverrated]

Fashion insubordination rules, people should know that by now. Only, celebrities shouldn't be credited for being such "mavericks" when it comes to this thing. If it wasn't for shows like "What not to Wear"(US version), then we wouldn't have to be sinking this low. The only thing I know is if my sister tries to get me on that show, I'm going to refuse and I won't be on speaking terms with her for a while.

[alieninvader]

I love "What not to Wear". I wish someone would nominate me. I've really been trying. Now that I lost my job, I've been living in workout gear and jammies.

[Agentlady007]

Well, Huffpo just won the hearts of middle American Moms with this post, and I dop mean MIDDLE American.

[Topfeeder]

I still have a few acid washed jeans stuffed into the back of an unused bedroom closet. I know they will come back.

[littlepuffycloud]

I will NEVER go back to anything high waisted again. Those mom jeans are not only hideously unflattering but they are as uncomfortable as they are ugly. I'm past the age of caring what is in style or fashion or whatever it's called. I'll stick with my low rise boot cut jeans..I have plenty of pockets without the extra 8" of fabric, that on somedays creates wierd back boobs and a huge pouch thing in front. Thanks for the laugh, but the only place I hope to see Mom jeans again is the re-run on SNL, in which all the ladies pile into a van wearing mom jeans. Hilarious. If they make Jessica Simpson look grotesque, imagine what they do to the rest of us.

[Susan60]

Let's face it. Mom jeans flatter NO ONE. They make your ass look 2 feet tall and even wider. Basically you are all ass in these jeans. And the way they hug your ankles makes the bottom half of you look like a ripened pear. For years, I have tried to get my mother in law to buy some updated jeans. She's not much older than me really. But she hemmed and hawed about how she doesn't like the way the newer style blah blah blah. The only way to buy jeans is to go into a store and start trying them on. Eventually you will find a flattering pair. And when you do, buy more than one pair, in more than one wash. After all, the perfect fit is few and far between.

[m caroline]

Mom jeans might be what they make you wear in hell.

[donorman]

Am I getting old (44 yrs.)? It seems to me that todays generation doesn't have any imagination. Hollywood rehashes films from the past, the dress, hair , 70's & 80's.

my 16 year old son listens to music that is sampled from past generation (what happened to guitars, bass & drums- live)

I'm doing something that I said I would never do & that is not stay in touch w/ the young ones. Hell, I played in metal bands & did drugs in the mid 80's. Now I'm really affraid. Mom jeans.
Am I crazy?

[littlepuffycloud]

No you are not crazy, but you do sound like everyone's mother..."It seems to me that todays generation doesn't have any imagination. Hollywood rehashes films from the past, the dress, hair , 70's & 80's." ISn't that the same as exclaiming "What's wrong with these kids today?" You had your youth, let them have theirs and remember to laugh in 20 years when your son says the same thing about his kids.

It's a fact there is nothing new under the sun. Everything is rehashed. I graduated HS in 1974 (eek!) and styles/music was rehashed from the 50's. Seems everything comes back in style in about 20 years.

[TerroristManGonnaGetYa]

Black Sabbath and Judas priest are rehashed 50s bands?

[sophieozz]

I've been saying the same thing. There is a lot of rehashing going on and the latest versions aren't improvements.

[Uncle Aina]

These are much more frightening than anything else in the news today.

[zizyphus]

Does that mean I should be glad I didn't ditch those fake Versaces I bought from Ebay with the high waist and bumpy logo on the back? I am already too into my funky camo pants with all the pockets so I don't need a purse. I don't know if I can ever go back to waisted pants, the agony having your stomach bound tightly, after wearing a natural waist, is inconceivable. I guess for the size 14 crowd, mom jeans with elastic waists will always be in favor.