As a high school student, I hated multiple-choice pop quizzes. They never pointed out what you actually knew, just made it obviously clear what you factually didn't. That hateful list of letters: A, B, C, and D...but it wouldn't stop there for me. I'd add an E. Observe:
"In A Separate Peace, what year was Gene's 'Sarcastic Summer'"?
E) I don't know exactly, but it was during WWII. And that's all that really matters; I can't believe you listed four years of the war. Not cool, Ms. Schultz.
Or:
"What is the symbol for lead on the periodic table?"
E) Good question, but I don't care to put labels on things. But I do know that it's a poisonous and dense metal that makes awesome bullets (I'm just saying).
And believe it or not, I never got partial credit. Never! Not fair. So maybe referencing ammunition wasn't a smart move, but come on, it showed I did the reading.
But what if there was a pop quiz that shed light into our souls instead of stealing them? (I'm looking at you, Ms Schultz.) What if one made us look inward for the answer instead of searching for it on the page? If such a quiz existed, I'd surely use it as a borderline-acceptable measure of the properties of the mind, but I wouldn't want it to be too long or hard.
That's what she said.
So now I'd like to once again turn to music to help aid in the healing process of the Quarter-Life Crisis by examining the lyrics of some old high school faves. So... POPQUIZ!
1. Your life right now can be summed up by which song played at your high school prom? (Or if you're like me, played in the car on the way to a friend's house to watch Dawson's Creek.)
A) Faith Hill's "Breathe": In a way I know my heart is waking up, as all the walls come crumbling down. (Awww.)
B) Sisqo's "Thong Song": I like to dance at all the hip hop spots and cruise to the crews like connect da dots. Not just urban I likes the pop cuz I'm livin' la vida loca.
C) Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady": I'm experiencing a minor identity crisis because there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing but not quite me.
D) 3 Doors Down's "Kryptonite": I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind; I left my body laying somewhere in the sands of time. I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon; I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah.
Pencils down. The quiz is over. Please pass your papers to the front. Let's see how you did.
If you answered A, you just like, loooove Jewel's poetry, may or may not be a vegan depending on the holiday, and you're pretty happy with life. So: we're not friends. You lose.
If you answered B, you haven't yet realized that it might be time to put down the Red Bull and Vodkas and get a tad more serious, but I'll allow it as long as you're respectfully employed and paying the bills. You can buy me dinner as long as there isn't techno music involved. You get partial credit. Yay!
If you answered C, you recognize that struggling to stand out is a challenge that must be overcome. Your identity crisis is a major part of the QLC, but you're excited to stand up to it. Congrats! You chose the right answer. And best news is, you and I are friends. (If I used emoticons, I would insert a smiley face here. But since I hate them more than Lohan hates sobriety, I'll pass.)
If you answered D, your emotions are valid and relatable, but your choice of song leads me to believe that you don't know who Tyler Hansbrough is, and so we can't be friends. But good effort.
So in honor of Eminem's win today I'm going to try to live the next seven days as confidently as he would. Lose myself in the moment, I own it, better never let it go. That sort of thing. Perfect timing since my year-end review is today. Hope I get partial-credit for only using 4 out of my 5 sick days. Onward!
Ps- Answers also accepted are your addendum E's.
Follow Lindsay Mannering on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindsayVirginia
and while i would normally extend this sentiment to M.C quizzes meant to gauge personal attributes and aptitudes (Cosmo quizzes and E-harmony, im looking at you...) your quiz is dead on. ill let you label me anyday, ms. mannering....mainly because i got it right! i chose C! im so glad we're friends. cant wait to make it official on facebook!
Incidentally, one of my earliest childhood memories was of a multiple choice math test in Mrs. McFall's first grade class. Frustrated over having to add and subtract seemingly enormous figures without a calculator, I chose to guess on all 50 questions. My impatience resulted in relocation to studying math with a "special" group of youngsters, most of whom found keeping saliva in their mouths to be a supreme challenge. Worse yet, no fruit snacks for a whole month.
thanX
"Well it was many years ago now
But I really can't be sure
That's when it all began then
I heard that knock upon my door"
Now THAT'S what she said...
1) is your ex-boyfriend still single because he sounds like a winner
2) are you involved in any way with the darma initiative? that would be the only way britney's "not yet a woman" could've played 2 or 3 years before it was released.
3) from the sound of this post, i think matthew fox and lindsay would be wonderful life partners. don't you agree?
Also, AmIGettingCanned, there's this handy function called the "Reply" button, which automatically indents (yay!) your post below the one you are responding to.
I want to say that Matthew Fox and Lindsay would be a match made in heaven, except he's betrothed to me. And yes, he plans on crying at our wedding.
You're proving yourself to be one of the Others with every post...you're already married but he plans on crying at your wedding in the FUTURE?!?!?! Just who ARE you, and can I have a ride in this time machine you keep using.
Also, am I allowed to change A) to "This Kiss"?
In any case, my real answer is E) Britney's "Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman": Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...Feels like I'm caught in the middle. That's when I realize...I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.
Funny how the guy who loves to include the E answer forgot to add it to this list.