Macho male golfers, who happily play at one of the last vestiges of officially sanctioned chauvinism in the country, love their babies!
That is one possible take away from the report in the New York Times sports section on Friday about the many brand new fathers playing at the Masters this past weekend.
Author Sam Borden didn't mention, in this particular story, the fact that Augusta National, where the tournament was held, refuses to admit women. (Nor did he discuss the recurring firestorm this causes, though nothing much ever seems to change as a result.)
Instead he wrote charmingly about how player Jonathan Byrd, spent most nights in his hotel room during the tournament "video chatting with his wife, who gave birth to the couple's third child on March 30."
And how Zach Johnson, the father of two sons, recalled bringing the oldest to a tournament as an infant and noticing that time and space were more crowded. The hotel room felt "very different than before," he told Borden, then asked, "What'd I do with all my time when I didn't have kids?"
What caught my attention, though, and stuck in my craw, was the story of Bubba Watson. He was not bedecked with the winner's ceremonial Green Jacket until yesterday -- but Borden had declared him a different sort of victor long before that.
Why? Watson is the father of a one-month-old son and, well, I'll let Borden tell you:
Of course, some might say Watson is a champion already. Asked how many diapers he changed before leaving for the Masters, Watson shrugged and shook his head only a little bit sheepishly. "I haven't changed a diaper yet," he said through a wide smile. "I'm winning right now."
He hasn't changed a diaper yet. So some might say he is already a champion. Ordinarily a Mesozoic remark like that wouldn't even be worth the energy it takes to express outrage. But drape it across the backdrop of a golf club where the president of IBM -- a chief sponsor of the tournament -- is refused membership because she has the equipment one uses to give birth, it makes this particular fan turn a different shade of green.
Is it charming to read stories about involved-fathers-as-adorable-artifacts? Or depressing?
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I am certain you are right that it takes a great deal of dedication to be "the best of the best" in the golf world. The question is, if you have a 2 week old infant at home, male OR female, is that the time in your life to be working on being the best of the best? If you don't have enough time to change a single diaper, don't have kids. What on earth is the point? You don't get those years back. You don't get a chance to experience what it is to become attached to your newborn again.
I know plenty of parents don't have a choice and they have to be away from their newborns for extended periods of time. This guy does have a choice, and its just not cool.
My husband works long hours. He will work 13hrs, blast into the door, throw on his "play clothes" and run out into the yard with the kids to play some catch in the 20 minutes of daylight he may have left, handle bedtime and then crack open his computer for a few more hours before bed.
And he has changed plenty of diapers, even at those times when he was "winning" (getting promoted, taking on a new important project, etc.)
A kid isn't yours if you don't provide any care. This is how attachment happens. I have spent many hours of my life with children, my own and others' kids. They are "other people's kids" when the parents are around. But when the parents leave them with me for a time, I find we start to build a special connection. Its the difference between them seeing me and waving "hi" and greeting me with a big hug. Its only the ones I've cared for who instinctively offer that kind of affection.
I know an elderly gentleman who had 4 kids in the middle of the century and never changed a diaper. He has an agreeable relationship with them. They visit once a year and call him rarely and briefly. Everyone who cares for him is paid to do so, because you'd better believe it has never occurred to those unattached kids that they should care for him in his old age.
The sportswriters' interpretation is also a problem, although I can't tell if he is writing this with an ironic tone, i.e. saying "some would say he is already a champion" just to note that some people, including Angie Watson apparently, value winning at the expense of taking care of your child. Borden may actually have been meaning to express the dysfunction in her attitude, and that of a lot of men and women who behave this way. (I think this is a little unfair just to blame women; there's also dysfunction in Bubba Watson deferring to her, as I noted above.)