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Lisa Belkin

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Children's Books Parents Either Love Or Hate

Posted: 12/ 2/2011 1:16 pm

(This is one of a series of posts in the Parentlode Book Club. You can also find a list of apps that help kids love to read or suggestions about what books they might like based on what they already love, or any of the other Bookclub offerings about how to help your children love to read).

The best books for young children are those that their parents also find charming. After all, children being lovers of repetition, you are likely to read any given book to them 97 million times. So it helps if you love it too.

Which brings us to the subject of children's books that parents hate. As I have learned writing about parenting over the years, we develop intense opinions and some dysfunctional relationships with the stories we read (or refuse to read) to our children every night.

Want to start an argument at preschool pickup? Mention any of the below. Click through and vote to let us know whether you love or hate them.

The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein.
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My personal top contender for this list. I know some people take away the heart warming message of a parent's limitless love for a child, but all I see is a story of a mother willing to literally let her child chop her into pieces. He sells her apples when he needs money, takes her branches to build shelter, using her trunk to build a boat to sail far away (from her.) When that journey doesn't go so well he comes back and sits on her stump. And not once does he say thank you.

Buy it here.
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MORE PARENTLODE BOOK CLUB: If you're sick of reading the same old books, find new ideas and ways to read digitally here.

 
 
 
(This is one of a series of posts in the Parentlode Book Club. You can also find a list of apps that help kids love to read or suggestions about what books they might like based on what they already l...
(This is one of a series of posts in the Parentlode Book Club. You can also find a list of apps that help kids love to read or suggestions about what books they might like based on what they already l...
 
 
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07:40 AM on 12/29/2011
About Junie B. and Eloise and Olivia...

Well, of course both of your statements are true! I thought that was the point. ;)
08:07 AM on 12/13/2011
I'm so with you on The Giving Tree, I can't stand that ungrateful brat!
12:47 AM on 12/13/2011
Waste of an article! Children are innocent and naive. America is slowly stealing away their childhood more and more. These books are not written for adults; they are written for CHILDREN. Children don't understand hidden messages or how these books could be taken the wrong way. The author of this article was pulling reasons out of thin air and thinking of things no one would ever think of, unless they thought LONG and hard and were searching for a reason to think these books were anything but child friendly.
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blarneydude
I can handle the truth. Now let's talk about you.
09:36 PM on 12/07/2011
I don't know why, but I expected Maurice Sendak's "Where The Wild Things Are" to be on this list.

My first made me read that one over and over and ....(..or was that my second...). Over and over and over....I never got tired of it. My first is going to college next year. If she asked me to read that book to her tonight, over and over and over, it would be one of the best things that ever happened to me. There was, somehow, so much about my own childhood that that book - which I never saw as a child - brought back.

So. If this list bummed you out, and for some reason you haven't tried "Wild Things" yet, do. If the nest's empty, you might actually ask them to come home so you can read it to them.

(Or not.)
03:38 PM on 12/07/2011
Junie B Jones was the first ever series of chapter books I read... Barbra Park taught me to love reading...
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Conuly
12:46 PM on 12/07/2011
There's a lot of the same arguments being made, and I simply don't understand them.

1. "Oh, oh, you're overthinking them!" or "Oh, oh, don't you know about the deeper message?"

I suggest you guys talk to each other and find an accord. She is EITHER overthinking them OR she's NOT overthinking them (and thus missing the deeper message), but there's just no way she's doing both.

2. To tackle the overthinking part (aka the "Can't you just enjoy a book without analyzing it???" argument), this makes no sense to me. One of the fun things about books and movies and TV is that you bring your own perspective to it. I don't find it very fun to just read something and then go do something else. I enjoy thinking about it and forming opinions and trying to identify the hidden messages (even the unintentional ones). Maybe this isn't how everybody approaches media, but a lot of people do just that. To the rest of you, stop trying to ruin OUR fun. If we like to "overthink" and you don't, well, you enjoy these books in your own way.
05:39 PM on 12/07/2011
I think you're missing the point...nobody's criticizing anyone, including the author, for thinking about it too much, although it may sound that way. it's just the story is so ridiculous in its claims about children's books people see little credence in it. and it's a little pretentious yourself to say that "there's no way she's both over-thinking and not thinking about it enough" because that's the whole basis for argument, is she going too far, is she missing the deeper message? as you say.
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Conuly
06:24 PM on 12/07/2011
Pretentious? I don't think that word means what you think it means.

And yes, everybody is criticizing the author for "thinking about it too much". Many of them with very strong language.
08:11 PM on 12/06/2011
anyone else see how sexist it is that the "parenting" section is filed under the "woman's" part of the site. I'm pretty sure there would be outrage if the "Business" or "Jobs" section was under a "Men's" title yet no such thought is given to avoiding sexism against men.
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11:23 AM on 12/07/2011
I have noticed this as well and always thought it odd.
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Conuly
12:29 PM on 12/07/2011
It's not simply "sexism against men" but sexism against women, by implying that a woman's job is to be a mother.
02:18 PM on 12/08/2011
Well, last I checked, women weren't biologically built to be a father. The best achievement in a woman's entire life is to have the chance to be a mother. (And yes, I am a very proud mom)
12:56 AM on 12/09/2011
pedantic fail...and generally i like pendants

sexism is gender based discrimination. being a mother doesnt mean you cant be other things like business person or what ever you desire. so this isn't technically sexism against woman.

yes it doesn't help with that image that some in society cling to but I should point out it doesnt imply what a woman must do it merely places an association between women and parenting.
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Jennifer Zirn
Agree to disagree.
06:07 PM on 12/06/2011
I am sure that something horrible can be thought of for most children book, Hans' stories were never the most uplifting stories, but those are the stories I grew up on, loved them and knew they were works of fiction.
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blarneydude
I can handle the truth. Now let's talk about you.
09:41 PM on 12/07/2011
f/f for your micro-bio, 'cause I'm gonna!

HCA may be the most depressing author in history. I heard his name so much, always spoken as if there were some sort of magic about him....then I READ him. OH MY GOD. I never read HCA to my kids, and would have refused on principle if they'd ever asked. I can't read my kids anything that depresses me.

So there you are. :-)
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Jennifer Zirn
Agree to disagree.
01:11 PM on 12/08/2011
I agree, his works aren't for everyone.
12:51 PM on 12/19/2011
I read all of Hans Christian Andersen's works before I was eight, and I loved them, and still do. His tales were rich, and deep, generally well-told, and contributed greatly to a love of literature that persists to this day.
05:09 PM on 12/06/2011
I believe we are getting a little too uptight and scared with our children -- of the world and its realities. Yes parents have taken issue over the likes of Dr. Seuss and some of the older fairytales and stories may be quite grim to us today, but I think that drawing such inferences as Amelia Bedelia being derogatory of the help, The Cat in the Hat dealing with a home invasion or Love You Forever featuring what can be described as a "stalker mother" who in one "creepy scene sneeks into the bedroom of her adult son" is absolutely ridiculous. I grew up with these stories and most like them are charming and full of insight. Furthermore there can be nothing wrong with a children's story dealing with subjects like death or abuse, so long as they are not overt themes that may be traumatic to a young reader. Those kind of themes can actually be very creatively integrated into a story if it's meant to teach, it just seems nowadays people are so out in the open about sensitive issues, everyone is always digging for the true meaning behind something and there's such a pressure to be politcally correct. There's nothing wrong with a child being able to run around, fall in the mud and learn a few things about life while he or she is still young.
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Conuly
12:30 PM on 12/07/2011
Love You Forever DOES have a woman sneaking into her adult son's bedroom at night!
02:53 PM on 12/07/2011
Yes? it's not exactly a case for Dr. Phil. just a little symbolic storybook imagery to make the child feel safe/secure perhaps for when he thinks of being too old to be tucked in bed.
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blarneydude
I can handle the truth. Now let's talk about you.
09:42 PM on 12/07/2011
When I read the book to my kids, I teared up there.

MY GOD. Folks. CONTEXT. Home invasion? The Cat In The Hat? HUNH?
03:51 PM on 12/06/2011
I was brought up with my Mother reading to me the tales of little Red Ridding hood, The three little pigs, Jack in the bean stalk, Jack Sprat, Humpty Dumpty, the Cat & the Fiddle. I knew they were fiction stories I loved them all. I have four sisters and one Brother we are all well adjusted law abiding citizens... Why is is that children now-a day's don't know the difference between real and fiction.
11:11 PM on 12/06/2011
The difference is: the world we live in. Now tons of parents (as you will notice reading comments on this thread) think too much into things, and don't let children experience, being just that...a child. Harry Potter "is the devil". The Growing Tree "is selfish". I Love You Forever " will make you realize when you are older your mother is going to break in and hold you in your sleep". Dr. Seuss "teaches kids that breaking into someones house and wrecking it is okay". It's all absolutely absurd! I grew up with these books and I am a will rounded young woman, who never thought twice about these books except they were "good" or "not so good"; "sad" or "joyful". Maybe now as an adult you can look back and truly feel something is "morally wrong" or "sending the wrong message" but isn't that the point of growing up? You learn things, you evaluate/see things in a different way and are able to appreciate it in a new light. Granted, if you were to realize "messages" in books sooner, that's when you talk with a parent or someone about it.

That, plus.....most children now stop being children at like 5 years old. Between the tv programs (even the ones for kids are mostly horrible), video games, TV and peers at school (or older siblings, family members, etc) kids are growing up way too fast.

Being a child sadly isn't what it used to be.
02:52 PM on 12/06/2011
I think some of the people posting have been to too many 12 step meetings. These are childrens books. No agenda, no psychoanalysis or psychiatrists couch, just wonderful quiet time with your children.
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missyinSoCal
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke
02:08 PM on 12/06/2011
Ugh!! I hated The Giving Tree when I was growing up (still don't like it)... What a horrible little boy he was... the tree gave and gave, the boy stripped her bare, killed her, and never once was grateful to her about ANYTHING. To this day, I don't get the point of that book.
12:26 AM on 12/09/2011
That WAS the point.
02:08 PM on 12/06/2011
What about "Go the "F" to sleep" by Adam Mansbach? Maybe I interpreted it wrong when I only saw it as a loving example of a father's love towards his child, despite the father obviously suffering from turrets syndrome. It is obviously a call for turrets awareness. Why else would they hire a reader who current suffers from turrets, Samuel L. Jackson?
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Which
Conservative left-wing radical
06:11 PM on 12/10/2011
Unless you meant to work the Brothers Grimm story of Rapunzel into the discussion for comic relief, I believe you mean Tourette Syndrome.
02:06 PM on 12/06/2011
Please never do a story like this about "Where the Wild Things Are." That was my favorite book as a child and I don't want some over-analytical interpretation being used by people to try and ban it from my son's elementary school.

"The Cat in the Hat" was said to be "the story of a home invasion, during which a fish is terrorized...," which makes more sense than kids inviting in their imagination, or any other interpretation?
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Conuly
12:45 PM on 12/25/2011
Nobody is trying to ban anything from anywhere.
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Trisha Lynn Dragon
The closer to church, the further from God.
02:05 PM on 12/06/2011
Uh I thought the whole point of reading to your kids was TEACHING them. If you think saying thank you is that big a deal, wouldn't the giving tree be the perfect accessory for that?

Every point/comment you made only points out your own inability to make a point or teach a lesson. Not capitalizing on teaching opportunities is not the books fault fer crying out loud.

There is no controversy here. There are lessons to be learned in each of those books, YOU are supposed to be teaching those lessons and shaping their outlook and behavior and such. Thats sort of the whole point of parenthood I thought...
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Conuly
12:31 PM on 12/07/2011
"If you think saying thank you is that big a deal, wouldn't the giving tree be the perfect accessory for that? "

Except that there are other books that do that in a less creepy way, and make the point better. (Mind, I'm not sure what Shel Silverstein's message was in The Giving Tree, but I doubt it was the same one many people think.)

Nobody has enough money for an infinite library. They have to choose some books not to purchase. Why not choose to purchase another book if you're uncomfortable with that one?
06:45 PM on 12/08/2011
Another point to consider is the age appropriateness of certain books. While you could use "The Giving Tree" as a jumping point for a conversation about appreciation with a young child, it might be better to save books dealing with more complex issues (i.e. "The Little Match Girl") until the child is old enough to deal with those ideas. With a book like TLMG, it might be too scary for a young child to face the idea of someone being beaten and eventually freezing to death for them to be able to focus on any lesson that you might try to bring out of it.