Horror often brings focus, and Sandy Hook has many of us viewing the familiar through a sharper, more personal lens.
Perhaps that's why reader NK is facing a major parenting dilemma. Married just four months, she and her husband -- a father of two -- find themselves at odds on the issue of guns at home.
Unsure whether she is overreacting, NK has asked me to ask Parentry readers for their thoughts. Is she overly sensitive in the wake of the Newtown shootings, she wonders, or is this a fundamental threat to her marriage?
She writes:
Last night, I opened my husbands iPad and found multiple pages open for GUNS. One being a Glock.
I was BEYOND irate.
I am someone who takes things like this very seriously. I have had a sudden loss of a love and know the empty feeling it leaves and the utter heartbreak.
I have no kids yet, but he has two children, who are in school. I could not get over how heartless this basic "search" was at this time.
My husband has never had someone incredibly close to him die. Nor will he watch the news. He turns it off and says "i cant watch that stuff."
When I found the searches online, I was shocked and horrified!!! How could my husband be looking into this sort of weapon (I'm always opposed) and this week OF ALL WEEKS! His response. Some guys and i wanted to go to a shooting range.
Obviously a large argument (me mostly yelling at him) ensued. He also made it clear that he thinks we should have a gun in the house for protection, which we had never talked about before.
I am only 4 months married. I am still learning how to navigate huge differences of opinion. We don't have religion or political differences. Child rearing seemed to be at the top. But now this.
I just feel hurt by him and disappointed at his complete lack of compassion. HE says the two are unrelated.
Do you think I am overreacting, or is he being heartless? How do we resolve this before we have children?
Is she? Is he? Can they?