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Lisa Belkin

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If You See Abuse, Report Abuse: The Lessons Of Penn State

Posted: 07/12/2012 5:52 pm

The committee has spoken. And its message is for all of us, not just those who looked the other way at Penn State.

The report released today by the group investigating the child rapes and abuse of which Jerry Sandusky was convicted minces no words about how late football coach Joe Paterno, along with other very powerful people, were wrong not to report their suspicions.

Among the many recommendations made to insure this does not happen again was increased training of staff on all levels about the responsibility that comes with being a "mandatory reporter." That's what Paterno was. That's what most people who work with minors are. Every state requires those who hold certain jobs -- doctors, social workers, teachers -- to speak up if they believe a child might be being abused. That has been the law in most states for decades. It's the original "if you see something, say something."

But what about the rest of us? Don't we have an obligation, even without the training or the title?

When your 6-year-old's new friend always seems to be bruised, do you bring social services into her parents' lives? When the children you babysit for start aping sexual activity in your presence, and you know that's a warning sign, but you also know the parents and have seen how wonderful they are with their kids, which instinct do you follow? When the young boy down the block takes to wandering into your house uninvited and helping himself to the contents of your fridge because he is hungry and there is not food at home, do you feed him, or call the police?

The first of these happened to me. I spoke to the preschool teacher who reassured me that the poor kid was just a klutz, and that a few of those bruises were gotten on the playground in front of teachers.

In the second case, which was told to me by a reader a few years ago, the babysitter anonymously called the child's pediatrician, was assured it would be noted on the chart and raised at the next check-up. She doesn't know how that turned out because she stopped babysitting for the family.

And finally, the neighbors, who are family friends, took to inviting the little boy over after school for a snack. He's in high school now, and seems healthy and as well adjusted as a typical teen. He hasn't shown up to eat in ages.

I'm not sure if the right thing was done in each of these cases, but I know that at least SOMETHING was done by an adult who felt they had to step in. Even without a legal obligation there is a moral one, no?

Joe Paterno had both. And he acted on neither.

 
 
 

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The committee has spoken. And its message is for all of us, not just those who looked the other way at Penn State. The report released today by the group investigating the child rapes and abuse of w...
The committee has spoken. And its message is for all of us, not just those who looked the other way at Penn State. The report released today by the group investigating the child rapes and abuse of w...
 
 
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02:29 PM on 07/16/2012
Even if you're not sure...reort to your local child protection agencies. You could save a child's life. Most local agencies have services avialable to children and you can filea CHINS petition (Child In Need Of Services) in most municipalities in the US. It can be done to both agencies anonymously. Do it...it's your repsonsbility.......PLEASE
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09:28 AM on 07/16/2012
You have to wonder how many people have read the Freeh report instead of just the sound bites. In the report, although Freeh singles out Paterno, what does the evidence that the report presents show? Paterno is 'guilty' of not doing enough in 1998 - a time when the local DA investigated Sandusky and declined to prosecute - and after he reported what McQueary told him to his superiors, including campus law enforcement. And after reporting as the law required, his emails to his superiors indicate that he followed up, asking if the investigation was going anywhere.

In other words, Paterno's guilt is less than that of millions of American Catholics who knew of priest abuse, knew that their abusive parish priest had been transferred to another parish without punishment, yet still sat in the pews, didn't demand the resignation of their bishops and cardinals, tacitly allowing the abuse of thousands of children.

Paterno is an easy target. He's dead. But he also acts as a salve to the conscious of all of those who know and yet do nothing. If we can take down Paterno, our sins seem less onerous.
05:13 PM on 07/14/2012
This is so tough. I remember years ago when a little girl was beaten to death, it seemed like there was no shortage of people in the neighborhood for the news crews to interview who said they knew she was being abused. And none of them seemed to think it was their job to do anything about it! So heartbreaking.
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Parade Keegan
I Can Hear You
02:44 PM on 07/14/2012
If you see abuse report it, report it, report it until someone listens and does something to rectify it. Keep talking about it... loudly!
10:15 AM on 07/14/2012
Most people in today's society look for self-preservation first. If they are sure there is no blowback their way, then they might "do the right thing." This is just who we are. Most people will be politically correct in speaking, saying what they would do in certain situations, but unless faced with that situation, no one knows for sure. It's easy to say what Paterno "should have done" from the outside looking in. It's time to admit that our culture has changed from the good old Mayberry days to one of looking out for self. Failure to admit this is the equivalent of burying your head in the sand. I'm not saying its right, but this is who we are. Face it. We border on preferring to look the other way or not get involved unless its family or friends who are impacted.
02:03 PM on 07/16/2012
The irony is that abuse like this affects everyone. A great majority of mental illness stems from childhood sexual abuse...drug addiction, suicides, anti-social behavior, etc. Abused kids (males especially) often grow up and abuse other kids. They can become violent towards others. Girls often engage in extremely self-destructive acts. It affects everyone. The average pedophile has 75 victims. In my opinion, knowing what Paterno should have done has nothing to do with being on the outside looking in. He was in a hugely powerful position, and he could have stopped the abuse. He didn't. I don't care WHAT anyone says, I know I would have done something.
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pslcitizen
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
03:09 AM on 07/14/2012
Sometimes it's hard to know. It's not usually so obvious. It would help if people knew exactly what steps to take & whether or not the report is actually being follow up on or not.
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blkrvr
02:28 AM on 07/14/2012
What parents have learned from the Penn State mess, pick another school for your child
07:39 AM on 07/14/2012
you dont think this could or might be happening in others schools....really just Penn State....if any school would be safe NOW it probably would be PSU .....
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blkrvr
12:44 PM on 07/14/2012
never said it was not happening in other schools and yes it may, but as of today the article is referring to psu,
11:43 PM on 07/13/2012
One the big problems in our country today is that football is more important to colleges than academics.
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bettyboop68
10:12 PM on 07/13/2012
This is so sad. So many people knew and did nothing to help all to keep the university's name and all they did was make it worse.
10:01 PM on 07/13/2012
If it took the Penn State scandal to teach parents a lesson then I suggest to those parents not having kids! This immoral behavior has been around for a very long time! The breakup of the family allows these predators more opportunities for their behavior! We see it in everyday communities, religious groups and more so then anywhere else amoung our teachers! Become a parent for the right reasons and pay attention to your kids. Quite simple, and sadly that may not even be enough but the odds would be in your favor.
01:53 PM on 07/16/2012
Unfortunately most instances of childhood sexual abuse are incestuous, and as such are highly unlikely to ever be discovered. But you're right...pedophiles look for opportunities to be with kids...to be coaches, scout leaders, teachers. And they look exactly like everyone else--normal. Pay attention to your kids, for sure.
10:00 PM on 07/13/2012
I had the neighbor from hell. She had three small boys. She worked as a stripper in a nightclub. I would come home from work with my children to find her three huddled on my doorstep. They'd had no breakfast, lunch, or dinner. The oldest wasn't getting to school. I am one of those "mandated reporters" but when it's a neighbor, you have to exercise care. Neighbors retaliate. They throw eggs at your house and car. They stand on the sidewalk and scream profanity at you. They call CPS and file bogus reports--but CPS still has to investigate and that can cost your your teaching credential if it happens--even if unfounded--enough. She did all those to me. Daily.

So, I called her son's school and reported that the boy was being untended and not being sent to school even though he was well. I called the Sheriff's station and made an anonymous report. I fed all three boys every single day when I got home until, finally, one day, the Sheriff's were waiting for her. She deliberately crashed her car into the light standard at our corner and left the area. I never did learn what happened to the boys. She left a dog and a couple of cats locked in her garage without food or water.

Animal control responded faster than the Sheriff's department or school did.
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AAHewetson
Intelligence is just fine with me
09:36 AM on 07/16/2012
I agree with you with regards to mandatory reporting by average citizens ... and have a similar back story to support my agreement.

If you think about it, though, your story makes Mr. Paterno look even worse. He was a wealthy and powerful man. He didn't have to worry about his care being being egged - the cops would have hunted the perpetrator down. He didn't have to worry about being screamed at - hell, given his status, people would have burned Mr. Sandusky at the stake if Mr. Paterno had asked them to. Any bogus charges against Mr. Paterno would have, immediately and harshly, blown back on Mr. Sandusky.

Mr. Paterno did not have to worry about any of this ... and he still chose NOT to do the right thing.
10:58 PM on 07/17/2012
In no way was I defending Paterno or any of the Penn State crowd involved in this horror story. My position has always been--from the onset--that McQueary should be on trial as an accessory, since he witnessed a crime and did not call the police--he called his Daddy and asked for advice on how to stay in the running for an assistant coach's job in spite of what he saw. Paterno punted up the chain of command instead of calling police and beginning and investigation. The PSU administration caved to Paterno for a wide variety of reasons--all of which stink.
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RosieRetro
Military Retiree/Veteran non-aligned Independent
09:41 PM on 07/13/2012
I learned the hard way while I was growing up - kids who complain tend to get ignored and blown off by adults, because adults think that a kid complaining is a normal thing. However, come across the diary of a deceased grown adult female, and then they start apologizing for not believing the kid.
08:32 PM on 07/13/2012
you can't learn from Penn State,,,, Even the kids didn't talk....
10:05 PM on 07/13/2012
They were impoverished children who were too afraid to speak up and too much in awe of the very people who were supposed to be befriending, protecting, and championing them.
01:45 PM on 07/16/2012
The kids don't talk because they blame THEMSELVES for the abuse. Children don't have the benefit of an adult-level maturity, or the benefit of knowing that sexual abuse is WRONG and damaging. The vast majority of abused children don't speak up for that very reason...they believe they deserve it, or that it's no big deal, or that they "owe it to" the person who is perpetrating the abuse. The shame they feel is devastating. Sexual abuse of children affects ALL OF US, because these kids grow up and become perpetrators, or they have drug abuse problems, or they fail to protect their own kids because they think this behavior is normal. They're the homeless, the jailed, the "losers" in society...and all because NO ONE PROTECTED THEM as they deserved to be protected. Paterno knew better and did NOTHING. The Catholic Church was worse...covered up the abuse to protect those in power--GREED AND MONEY talks. Thousands of lives ruined. Society needs to wake up, because karma is a bitch.
05:44 PM on 07/13/2012
It has been my observation that those commenting and calling attention that people (men) did not act when they should have are all female. The committee that issued the report were males but where are the other males in the public arena???
03:24 PM on 07/13/2012
There's a dynamic at work here where people go into denial because they don't want to admit that people like this exist and child sex offenders often play on that, too -- since they're amongst the most diabolical of offenders. That having been said, once you're fairly certain some type of abuse is taking place, you're ethically bound to report it. As for Penn State, I still can't understand why no one went to the police. And if I'd happened onto a scene like Mike McQueary testified that he saw, I would have immediately extricated the child from that situation and called 911.
10:10 PM on 07/13/2012
Joe Paterno was a rich and powerful top dog at PSU. Even the officers of the University caved in to whatever he wanted. He donated a library and a lot of money back to PSU. Football in PA brings out every rah-rah in the Commonwealth--most of whom never spent one dime of tuition at PSU or set foot on any campus as a student. McQueary didn't report what he saw but he did call his Daddy (he was 28 at the time) to ask what he should do so that he didn't jeopardize his chances at a PSU coaching position.

Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely. Paterno, Sandusky, McQueary, and a whole lot of others were absolutely corrupt.
01:50 PM on 07/16/2012
And the evidence that power corrupts absolutely is in spectacular evidence with the Catholic Church. Those in power knew they'd lose power and money if the sexual abuse scandals broke, so they covered it up with NO REGARD to the human lives they ruined in the process. Yet they claim to be better than us, more moral, God-fearing...it's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.
06:05 AM on 07/18/2012
To quote you, "power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely." So my "tripe" as you call it was in response to yours...and obviously MY sentiments were offensive to you or you'd stop sniveling about the content of my comments. You're one of those pseudo-intelligent people who have to resort to name-calling and insults when an opinion differs from your own. (Or even when it supports your own, as evidenced here.) So, as terribly wounded as I am (yawn) at your invitation to find another sandbox in which to pontificate, I am too entertained by your insults to leave. So...keep rambling!