Bribing Other Passengers Not To Hate Your Babies On The Plane

Bribery or Gratitude? Brilliant or Unnecessarily Apologetic?

Those were the questions on Reddit this weekend after a passenger posted this photo under the headline "Brilliant and thoughtful parents handed these out to everyone on my flight."

There is perhaps no subject as divisive online as the rights of a baby on a plane. That proved true once again on this Reddit thread, with over 3000 comments and 1 million views, split, as usual, between those who don't believe babies belong on planes at any time, and those who defend every child's right to fly, however noisy or pungent they might be.

There was praise. "That's the most considerate thing I've ever seen," teeohdeedee123 wrote, "and it has fully restored my faith in said consideration."

And concern about the larger anti-baby message: "Really? You don't find this to be overkill?" papabusche asked. "I don't require an apology for a crying baby on a plane. This is to be expected. I'm ok with it. People have babies, and they need to travel too. There are plenty of assholes I'd much rather have an apology from.

And questions about logisitics: "I wonder what the TSA thought of this, while they were going through security?," asked chudapati09.

The original poster, gigantomachy, reports that the flight went well:

The parents were fantastic and the kids were better than would be expected. mom was super nervous and obviously very tired, but still extremely nice to everyone around her. Not a mean or frustrated word from dad either. Saw them meeting his parents at baggage, who were seeing babies for first time, and got a bit teary.

Me, I am wondering about the traveller in seat 20D, what with the parade of people coming by to either coo or scowl at the twins.

 

 

 

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Comments

[SharpForceTrauma]

12:26 AM on 09/14/2012

My poor mom took me and my brother to the Philippines alone, back in 1968, we had to "island hop" back then.
I was 3 my bro was 5.
We had to stay over night in Guam in an old barracks.
When she arrived she was more then a little disheveled.
Love you MOM!

[Dr Korey]

05:38 PM on 09/10/2012

I'm probably more forgiving of babies on planes than kids who are 7 and up. Those kids are the obnoxious ones. They have to be entertained all the time. Running up and down isles, playing their video games at the loudest volume, kicking my seat, and never shutting up. Those kids should be muzzled and put in the cargo area.
Babies can't be helped though. Any parent that would fly with a baby is either doing it because they don't have a choice or they are entirely insane.

[lorihokie]

10:49 PM on 09/05/2012

I think anything that shows appreciation in this world is a welcome substitution to all the petty political fighting right now. http://lorihokie.blogspot.com/2012/08/is-other-side-really-stupid.html

I have twins also and I think it's a great idea to pre-apologize for my kids normal behavior that other people shouldn't necessarily have to be subjected to. http://lorihokie.blogspot.com/2012/08/training-for-twins.html

[Amber Hinds]

11:41 PM on 09/04/2012

As a second thought, I have to agree with those who commented about the rudeness of adult passengers that often gets ignored in discussions about whether or not babies and children should be allowed on a plane.    Just yesterday, I was forced to sit for more than two hours next to a woman who reeked of cigarette smoke.  I'm visibly pregnant (obviously not someone who ought to be inhaling cigarette fumes) and spent much of the flight nauseated due to the smell...but I managed through it without complaining or acting rude, because I'm an adult and I have the decency to do so and to recognize her right to travel just as much as mine -- despite the fact that I wanted to request a seat change from the moment she sat down.  

There are an infinite number of things that could bother one person but not another, no matter the age of the individual sitting in the next seat.  When we fly, we do so with the understanding that we are going to be locked in a very small space with a large number of strangers, many of whom we would not choose to spend any amount of time with in any other circumstance.  We do this because flying is more convenient than other modes of transportation and we think the lack of personal space, limited privacy and control over our environment is worth the time saves by flying.  If someone isn't able or willing to accept the trade-offs that come with air travel (whether they be crying babies, children kicking seats, adults who smell like cigarettes, or invasive TSA screening), then that person should just choose another mode of transportation; they shouldn't expect the world to revolve around their needs and desires.

http://www.amber-hinds.com

[Amber Hinds]

11:22 PM on 09/04/2012

This just seems silly.  And, yes, complete overkill.  I took my daughter with me on several cross-country (NY to CA) business trips starting at 11 weeks old and in my experience a baby that young, especially one (or two!) that is breastfed is just going to nurse and sleep through the flight.  I had some interesting moments trying to figure out how to get a bag in the overhead compartment with her strapped across my chest in a carrier, maybe one or two diaper mishaps before I realized that the disposables I used while traveling were worthless without a cloth diaper cover over them, and it certainly took me longer to board and deplane than most, but crying was not part of the equation at all.  The one flight during which that I thought her restlessness could potentially bother others (which didn't happen until she was 9 months old), I stood in the aisle rocking her in a sling until she fell asleep.  No one seemed to mind that, and the (male) flight attendant even gave me a free margarita for my troubles.  

I often see people complaining online about babies or children on flights, but I've never actually run into someone who felt that way in person.  In all the times I  traveled solo with an infant/toddler, I only experienced kindness and understanding from others.  There were plenty of people willing to help me fold my stroller, carry/stow bags, or let my potty-training 2 year old ahead of them in line at the restroom -- all without being asked.  I think the people who actually have a problem with children on flights are few and far between, they just know how to talk louder on the internet.

http://www.amber-hinds.com

[Kira Barker]

11:06 PM on 09/04/2012

Crying babies are a whole different thing than bratty, undisciplined kids. Babies cry for myriad reasons- some of which leaves even the most knowledgeable baby expert clueless. Most parents will do their best in a public place to calm their baby, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Fellow passengers should cut them some slack. Bratty kids running in the aisles, kicking seats, yelling, throwing things, etc. is another animal entirely- in those cases, I completely understand the frustration, and the flight attendants have the authority to put a stop to it- or even remove them and their parents from the flight before it departs. In those cases, a class in parenting would clearly be beneficial!

In any case, I find a fussy baby far less offensive that someone with terrible BO, someone who is overlapping into my seat (either because of weight or too much stuff, or hogging both arm rests), someone who eats particularly stinky food on board, someone who insists on talking over the seat to the friend in front of them, someone who listens to their music so loudly that you can't hear yourself think, someone who gets wasted on board (or before boarding), etc. I could go on and on about things more offensive than a baby crying. I shouldn't have to bribe people to deal with my baby crying unless you also think it necessary for them to bribe me for their offenses :-)

[Cowgirl58]

11:05 PM on 09/04/2012

I flew with both kids, beginning when they were a few months old, all the time. I pre-planned, everything from the time of day the flights were, the snacks, the bottles, pacifiers, new little toys to get their attention, etc. I did take their temperature the day of the flight because my peditrician told me 90% of the issues with kids on planes has to do with their ears, so insuring they're not sick, plus giving them a preventative dose of Benadryl before the flight helps. I also always bought them their own seat and put them in their airplane approved car seat. I've been on 9 hour flights with crying babies and told by the flight attendants that the parents had brought no provisions for the children, like formula, diapers, nothing thinking the airline provided all that. Amazing.

[Tash00]

10:28 PM on 09/04/2012

Cute!

[talkinmama2]

10:11 PM on 09/04/2012

We don't type notes, but we do travel with homemade cookies and enough ear plugs for every other passenger in coach when we travel with our kids. I just wanted to point out though that having traveled with our baby in a carseat and also as a "lap infant", we found she was much calmer when held and that having to be strapped into the seat for takeoff and landing made for a much more disruptive little passenger. That said, I also have to commend fellow passengers. I don't believe earplugs and cookies make up for a colicky baby and we only ever received compassion and sympathy from passengers around us.

[katyladygolfer]

02:39 PM on 09/04/2012

Yeah, it's a pain to have a crying baby on a flight. But it's a bigger pain for the parents. My son screamed the whole time on an early morning two hour flight when he was almost two. The other people on the flight were pretty irritated with us. I could not get him to stop and I tried everything. When we got home, he was running a fever. I took him to the doctors and he had an ear infection and hie eardrum had ruptured. It wasn't fun for anybody on that flight, but least of all for him. I swore I wouldn't fly with him again until he was 12, lol. We did go again when he was 6 with much better results.

[simzillyjp]

08:52 PM on 09/04/2012

Maybe this could serve as some kind of warning? Perhaps you could take your child to Doctor before a flight to make sure thay are not sick. It seems like sometimes an illness will pop up at the most inoppertune time.

[katyladygolfer]

10:03 PM on 09/04/2012

It DID pop up at the most inopportune time. We were in Disney World. He came down with a stomach/intestinal virus. We did go to a doctor in Orlando. We were feeding our boy jello in a hotel room. My husband had to stay down in Florida to work, so when our son was keeping his food down, I headed home with him. Since he had a fever with the virus, it was hard to tell between stomach virus fever and what turned out to be ear infection fever. The doctor looked in his ears and didn't see anything 3 days before we flew home. I will never look askance at a parent with a crying child again.

[GOODDOC1]

10:54 PM on 09/04/2012

Well, that's Murphy's Law for you: "Whatever can go wrong will, and in the most inopportune manner"! Sometimes it's just the change in air pressure that gets to these kids. I always recommend feeding them on ascent and descent. That helps to equalize the pressure and pain.

[KP85]

01:30 PM on 09/04/2012

Crying babies on a plane happen and parents shouldn't have to appologize for that! However, young kids who kick seats? Now the parents of those children should be doing something.

[LENLU]

01:16 PM on 09/04/2012

It's not the babies I have a problem with...

"It's the parents that DON'T parent!"

Babies will be babies but parents "need to be" the ADULTS IN CHARGE....

[goddess103001]

11:28 AM on 09/04/2012

How is the message anti-baby? I see it more as pro-consideration. It's nice to see parents that actually took the time to think about others, instead of those parents who think that everybody should be beholden to their kids' whims. Lets face the facts, babies can be really annoying, even to their own parents. To people who choose not to have kids, it's not something you want to deal with. Even worse when you're in a closed cabin for several hours. I agree with the first poster. It's nice to see that some parents out there have consideration for others and it's renews some, just some, of my faith in the consideration of others.

[Gonzo36]

10:01 AM on 09/04/2012

I saw this on reddit and was so annoyed. Since when do people have to apologize for having BABIES??? I isn't inherently rude to travel with a baby, but it IS rude to be too fat to sit in one seat, eat a tuna fish sandwich, spend 30 minutes in the only working bathroom, do your nails, or listen to your music too loud- all things that have happened to me while flying. Where is my candy from THOSE people who are ACTUALLY rude?

[happyjoyjoy333]

09:40 AM on 09/04/2012

I wonder if they had their "precious cargo" in child seats strapped safely in their own airplane seats.
Everytime I see parents with babies on planes they are always held on the parents laps. If the plane hits turbulence or has a rough landing, those babies are missiles.
I have NEVER seen a baby in it's own seat on planes..ever. One time I even saw a mother putting her seatbelt over both her and the baby! If the plane stopped suiddenly the mother's weight would cut the baby in two! A flight attendant told her she could NOT strap the baby against her body like that because it wasn't safe! Crazy crazy world we live in.
By the way, I sat right next to this lady and her baby, and got drooled on, had my hair grabbed by the baby's pudgy sticky fists, had screaming in my ears, kicking in my side, and the baby even sneezed on my face!
Nope, there isn't any amount of candy in the world that could make that better.
I think parents with babies and kids should have theirown part of the plane, so the rest of us can fly in comfort and peace.

[3bed2bath1baby]

11:17 AM on 09/04/2012

you were a baby once too.

Believe it or not, the mom's have more anxiety and annoyance about their own fussy babies than you.

[goddess103001]

11:29 AM on 09/04/2012

Poor you. It's funny, my mom was just saying the exact same thing. Just like some restaurants have Familly Rooms, it would be nice for planes to have a separate compartment for families, just like there's a separate compartment for First Class.