In news that probably won't surprise any parent -- particularly those at the stage where "talking to adults all day" and "leaving the house on a whim" are just gauzy memories -- the Internet is your friend.
Often literally.
One study, by researchers at Penn State and Brigham Young universities earlier this month, found that new mothers who follow and create online communities report feeling "less alone" than new mothers who don't. (Of the 157 participants in this study, 76 percent read blogs and 61 percent also wrote their own.)
Another, by the New Parents Project at Ohio State University, found that the birth of a child spurs new mothers onto Facebook. (In a sample group of 154 mothers, 44 percent said their Facebook use increased after giving birth, compared to 27 percent who said it decreased and 29 percent who said it stayed the same.)
This was all an attempt, I am thinking, to quantify things that really can't be measured. The search for reassurance that you aren't the only one feeling "this way." The need for virtual ties to fill the spaces left as families and communities scatter. The craving for places to gather and moments to connect and voices to tell you nope, you're not crazy, it's this parenting gig that's a little insane.
Numbers and data won't do that. Only words come close. So, inspired by what the research was trying to capture, I reached out to my own web of blogging friends whose worlds are invisibly but inextricably interwoven with mine. Why are you here? I asked them. What, I wondered, has the Internet done for you since you've become a parent?
Here are some of their answers:
So ... click away ... We also want to know what the Internet has done for you lately. Did you find support on Facebook or a personal blog after you had kids. Email us at parents@huffingtonpost.com or tweet your answers to @HuffPostParents using #onlineparents.
Follow Lisa Belkin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lisabelkin
I absolutely feel as if I have some real virtual friends. While I watch my granddaughter grow I can visit the "mom" bloggers and understand what demands they are facing as parents in 2012. Sometimes, I offer "advice" and give support some times I take "advice" and receive support. It has been a way of staying active as a clinical social worker/therapist and a maternal child nurse while helping my own family by being at home.
Today I can say all the same but add something more. My daughter, who got onto Facebook by lying about her age, apparently clicked on a link (four months ago) that took her to a website that has sent her a bill of (the Euro equivalent of) roughly $130. It arrived this morning, claiming to be a last warning, claiming that two had come previously, threatening to take this little 11-year-old to court if they didn't receive payment by the 5th, three days from now. With my remaining computer time before she came home from school, I googled the firm owning the website and its payment collection agency and found long lists of discussion forums claiming this company was scamming people and giving advice on how to deal with the company. Still a two-edged sword, but today the Internet probably saved my daughter's neck.
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
I detest the misuse of "literally."
Butt, I mean but, as positive as those benefits may be, I have recently had to admit it has also given me a flat ass, a time management problem, a serious case of laundry pile up, and it has taken my attention away from the here and now of life and parenthood in a way I'm not particularly proud of or thankful for. I'm guessing, hoping, I'm not the only one who feels this way....
I just wanted to add as a (grand)mother, the Internet brought me pictures and videos of my latest grandchild born 3000 mi away from as early as the hospital ..... pretty amazing and the next best thing since families are so spread out now...;o/