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Lisa Belkin

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Julie Bowen, Of Modern Family, Has A 'Sister Wife'?

Posted: 09/24/2012 10:20 am

What do you call the people you pay to take care of your children?

Nannies? Babysitters?

Julie Bowen calls then "sister wives." That is the term she used from the stage last night as she accepted the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy and thanked "Alba and Amelia" who are taking care of our children when I'm not around to do it."

The term struck some as out of place. "I like that Julie Bowen acknowledged that she has nannies and thanking them. Although the sister wives reference was a bit ... odd," Sarah Hughes wrote on The Guardian's Emmy liveblog.


Emily Nussbaum, the TV critic for The New Yorker, agreed, tweeting:


Me? I loved it.

Putting aside for the moment the fact that Bowen has TWO such women on her payroll, and also sidestepping its origins in polygamy, as used by Bowen last night it describes the relationship between a parent and a caregiver at its best. The confidence, trust and joined sense of responsibility for a child. The feeling of family and of mutual dependence and respect.

The world would be a better place if all women felt more of that toward each other, rather than parsing and squabbling, but that is another topic for another day. This morning, let's focus on how rarely celebrities thank their caregivers from the podium. On the list of people who make their victory possible are always agents, managers, assistants, parents, spouses and often God. But almost never the women who care for their homes and families all day.

Amy Poehler is a famous exception. At last year's gala for those named to TIME magazine's list of most influential people she said:

who besides Madam Secretary Clinton and Lorne Michaels have influenced me? And it was the women who helped me take care of my children. It is Jackie Johnson from Trinidad and it is Dawa Chodon from Tibet, who come to my house and help me raise my children. And for you working women who are out there tonight who get to do what you get to do because there are wonderful people who help you at home, I would like to take a moment to thank those people, some of whom are watching your children right now, while you're at this event. Those are people who love your children as much as you do, and who inspire them and influence them. So on behalf of every sister and mother and person who stands in your kitchen and helps you love your child, I say thank you and I celebrate you tonight.


Since odds are I will never give an Emmy speech or be one of the Time100, I would like to take this opportunity to thank my own sister wives over all these years: Bernice, Marielle, Debbie, Chrissy, Luann, Monique, Oksana and Vicky.

I'd give you a golden statue too, if I could.

Is there anyone you would like to thank? Feel free to use the comments as your microphone. We promise not to "play you off" the stage.

 
 
 

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What do you call the people you pay to take care of your children? Nannies? Babysitters? Julie Bowen calls then "sister wives." That is the term she used from the stage last night as she accepted...
What do you call the people you pay to take care of your children? Nannies? Babysitters? Julie Bowen calls then "sister wives." That is the term she used from the stage last night as she accepted...
 
 
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09:58 AM on 09/28/2012
My thanks go to Cynthia and Cristine who made my child feel loved and secure when I could not be there.
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10:23 PM on 09/26/2012
Oh for Gods sake she was kidding.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lesann
Resistance is Futile
10:54 AM on 09/27/2012
It seems the intelligence level for some is sinking like the Titanic. Aren't people aware of "tongue in cheek" and current trend references?
12:10 AM on 09/26/2012
I thought it was interesting that in the closed captioning, they entered "my sisters", not "my sister wives". I will not speculate as to why that occurred.
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Andygirl A
angering at least one person a day since 1996
07:21 PM on 09/25/2012
well maybe they're not nannies; maybe they really *are* sister wives. I kid, I kid.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pennywhite
02:14 PM on 09/25/2012
I am very happy that the invisible women behind the scenes who make life possible for the upper and upper-middle classes (nannies, housekeepers, home health care workers, etc) are beginning to be publicly acknowledged for their enormous contributions to society.Now if they could only get health care, decent housing, and a living wage...
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Amaryllis612
Why do I need a microbio
01:24 PM on 09/25/2012
Um . . . unless these women are sleeping with her husband, I think she can find a better word!
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giftsthatpurr
zestful life
10:43 AM on 09/27/2012
Um, sex is not the only thing wives are good for.
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Amaryllis612
Why do I need a microbio
11:39 AM on 09/27/2012
True, but the word wife means intimacy is part of the relationship. Sister wives are fundamentalist mormons, all having sex and babies with the same husband.
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01:08 PM on 09/25/2012
American women have outsourced childcare and housekeeping. They have sexual problems, but want hubby around, OR ELSE.

What benefits whatsoever do men get out of marriage?
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Andygirl A
angering at least one person a day since 1996
07:23 PM on 09/25/2012
lardy knows and I'm not one to judge the wives who are also mothers because that is just not my path. I also grew up poor so I don't see anyone else cleaning my home, let alone taking care of my nonexistent children. but my man is happy, so...
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07:45 PM on 09/25/2012
Good on you!
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Amaryllis612
Why do I need a microbio
09:23 PM on 09/25/2012
Maybe that's been your experience. Could be your choice of women, or it could be you!
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12:13 AM on 09/26/2012
Ignorance of family law is a requirement for strident feminism.
12:21 PM on 09/25/2012
I thought "sister wives" was sweet, charming, and (possibly) meant to cause discussion. Look what we're doing right here. If silly people want to speculate that the parents' helpers are in a polygamous relationship, dream on! I love Julie Bowen and Amy Poehler for thanking the real power behind their ability to do a good job.
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giftsthatpurr
zestful life
10:49 AM on 09/27/2012
agree
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MelanieGagnon
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
10:58 AM on 09/25/2012
Way to give credit where credit is due. She can afford to have help and can at least show that she is thankful for those helping her with the children. They are not just employees, they are the people helping raise her children. Having more then an employer-employee relationship is very benificial for the children.
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giftsthatpurr
zestful life
10:45 AM on 09/27/2012
agree. fanned
09:10 AM on 09/25/2012
i wish i had enough money to afford a permanent mom in my house. that would be awesome! and i would cherish her because doing it all is so freaking hard and i don't even have kids!
08:01 AM on 09/25/2012
How many of us have commented - "I'd love to have a wife to take care of all that stuff" by which we mean, the house, the children, the PTA, the sports, the homework, the cooking, the cleaning etc etc etc. No matter how "equal" our parenting is somehow Mom winds up taking on a greater role with parenting and household management. Too many are over thinking Julie's comment and trying to place sexual value to it. I'm not her so don't know for sure, but my bet is that she has that "wife" so many of us wish for and is not only grateful to have them, is grateful in a really public way! WTG Julie - when your Sister Wives have some free time can you send them my way? I could sure use the help!
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
10:26 AM on 09/25/2012
I'd love to have a wife who does exert herself to take care of even a large fraction of that stuff.
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02:17 AM on 09/25/2012
I think "Sister Mom" makes more sense. She's sharing motherly duties, not wife duties. (As far as we know.)
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Andygirl A
angering at least one person a day since 1996
07:24 PM on 09/25/2012
yes, my thoughts too.
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AsISaid
09:30 PM on 09/24/2012
Julie Bowen is a hot mama......
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Marc And Amy Vachon
07:27 PM on 09/24/2012
Or perhaps an equally sharing partner? Not knocking the village of non-partners - many personal thanks go to our daycare provider, Helen, and the many wonderful preschool teachers we've known throughout the years - but I'd love to see husbands get top billing as co-parents who enable their wives to reach for the Emmy or their own personal star.
07:14 PM on 09/24/2012
Eh...who cares what term she used to refer to her children's caregivers. As someone who has worked as a childcare provider for the last 19 years, I am just glad that someone in a position such as she has recognized the work we do. Thank you Julie!
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giftsthatpurr
zestful life
10:51 AM on 09/27/2012
ff